Ever notice how guys don't like to touch other guys? Well, I fall into this category as well since I have a hard time giving hugs and all that and I'm pretty touchy. It's a little different in the gym because we have to help each other a lot due to "spotting" the weights or being in close to each other. I mean, my balls are literally hanging so close to a guy's face when I have to "spot" him on the bench press.

Recently, I faced a new thing. One of my friends that also trains in the gym follows the philosophy of "Train heavy or go home" in which we lift incredible amounts of weight for each bodypart. What he needed me to do is stand on his toes as he pressed 80 pounds while laying across a bench. That's just the first time anyone's told me to stand on their toes since he needed me to keep him stable.

Yeah, I'm touchy but as long as I know you pretty well, I can handle a pat on the back and such. Will does it a lot by punching my shoulders, namely the right one most of all. I had to actually hang onto Bald-O when he showed me how to ride a motorcycle out in 40 acres of land.

*It got pretty scary when I almost went into the small pond but that's our little secret, k?*

Girls, on the other hand, I love to allow to touch me. As long as I am not in a relationship, I don't mind long hugs and little pinches. When I talk, I get really animated so you have to pinch me sometimes to get me stay still. I'd really, really want a girl that loves to give back massages because I need them after a workout.

So, I come home after last night's workout to find that E! has this segment called Naked Hollywood. I laughed at how these famous people just decided one night to film themselves having sex and then act completely shocked that their dicks/twats are soon to be seen on us po' folks' 51 inch TVs.

I mentioned that I bought the Paris Hilton sex tape a short while back. After viewing this, I must say this to all girls:

-Do not let anyone video tape a sex session......EVER! I don't care if he begs and begs or even gives you widdle kitty cat eyes.

My roommates in college found a video of a girl in her dorm room stripping slowly that was obviously very amaterous. I soon found out that it was a gift sent to her boyfriend that once she broke up with him, he shared it on Kazaa.

One guy video taped his girlfriend going down on him and then he forced her to stay down there as he pee'd in her mouth. This girl was extremely unhappy to find that her friends had seen this all thanks to him putting this up on the Net as well.

It seems like we've gotten to the point that we want to share our sex lives, at least the guys do. Even one of my roommates took pictures of his ex-girlfriend in some awkward positions.

I laugh at the Paris Hilton sex tape, not because it is the first actual porn video that I bought but because Paris herself is hilarious! She continues to mug to the camera and poses during sex that you wonder who she is doing this for. The best is when she's getting fucked but gets up to answer her cell phone. Like I said before, we learn that Paris doesn't swallow.

The reason why I don't care one bit about the plight of Paris Hilton is that she's just a cold spoiled brat that is sent to make fun of people that actually work for a living. I may have laughed at The Simple Life but it's really nothing but a completely idiotic set of blondes with no intention but to degrade people that make less than $30,000/year. Is there really a reason for this show?

What I find oddly amusing is the guy Paris is fucking, Rick, does his play by play of the sex video. It's clear that he is extremely proud of his dick and the fact that we get to see Paris suck on it but stop at that crucial moment. Sounds like my ex-girlfriend.

I'm debating with myself whether I should bring Paris Hilton's sex tape with me on the 4th Of July weekend in which I go to Bald-O's. You see, he doesn't care how stupid a girl is. As long as she looks good, Bald-O would drop trou. Me? I'm more into someone that is smarter than a bag of rocks. Plus, I'm more into brunettes and redheads.

If you want to see what a stretched asshole looks like after non-stop anal sex, get the collector's edition of Paris Hilton's sex tape because it comes with an extra DVD of trailers for some of the nastiest porno videos out there in which it's so funny to see all these girls so proud to show us that you can now fit a couple lamps, the bedpost, and a six-pack of beer in there. Now, that's talent!

*Yuck!*

Don't you hate to suddenly have to figure something out when it's put before you? Walking down the hall this morning, my dad asks:

"What's the difference between cash-accounting and accrual-accounting?"

Geez, I stood there scratching my head for a few seconds since this is quite an abrupt question but I answered it, just not the way my dad wanted.

Since the answer wasn't good enough, I had to wait while my dad printed up what he wanted. I was close but don't tell him that. Obviously, this accounting crash course is not going perfectly so I must avoid halls when Dad is walking as well.

Yeah, I'll be dilly-dallying on accounting and computer programs here and there for the rest of the summer so I am fucked. Due to my dad's militaryish need to just ask me questions, I will most likely be a bit out of the loop in my entries.

So, I've got a bunch of papers to study on accounting, quail chicks to check on, a workout in my gym all while possibly standing on toes, Greek Mythology to read, and classes to pick out. I'm fucked but I'm okay!

- - 2009-07-07

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