It's summer so once again I find myself in the same predicament as last year. Where, oh, where do I begin to explain what is going through my head that caused me to sleep very little, last night. Just laying there at 5am watching infomercials in which one consisted of a Girls Gone Wild clone called "Wild Party Girls" all while wide awake with a desire to think my issues out makes a very confused boy.

Okay, I've got my interests piqued! There are 2 girls that I like and I've mentioned them in the past but I'll rewind so you can catch up but please understand that due to seeing one too many images of girls lifting their shirts up can short circuit a few wires in my mind.

Elizabeth is the girl that went to the same high school as my ex-girlfriend, J. It's nice that they never met so I'm safe in that department. J's just too fucked up to trust, anyway but this isn't about her.

You see, Elizabeth is a girl I met in the gym earlier that is quite cute. She sets out to do her routine in the gym and does it well, a balance of running and weights. Time after time, Elizabeth and I have run into each other at various points in the gym so it was just a matter of time til we talked.

And talk we did! Last night, Elizabeth brought her high school yearbook for me to look at. She wanted me to point out my ex-girlfriend and show me pics of herself. Elizabeth had shorter hair but oh, so cute! There's a portion of her that I feel represents me discipline for working out and I like that.

Basically, I can describe Elizabeth as a orangish long hair that she pulls back before she works out. Nice sense of style in that she wears black lycra and a tummy baring shirt. Normally, I am against such clothes but they fit Elizabeth well, very well.

Now, last night wasn't exactly perfect due to my scrambled brain caused by so many friends showing up last night. I talked and talked and talked to Harry, Jody, Jennifer, and many others. It made for a very confused and blab filled me. Poor Elizabeth had to deal with my awful dialogue in which I just couldn't settle down.

I did find out that Elizabeth is single. *Whoo!* When she walked into the gym last night, she instantly seemed to look around for me and smiled. I had never seen Elizabeth with long hair since she always has it pulled back before she comes to the gym. Let's just say that my eyes couldn't stay off her. Even Alex, a fellow gym rat that happens to look like a hippy with a hard body winked at me when he saw me walk out to Elizabeth's car for her to show me the yearbook.

My second issue is that I'm also curious about Blockbuster Girl, Sara. I just talked to her while going there to pick up Cold Mountain for my dad. Very, very nice redhead that I am pretty sure is single also. *Whoo!* I told her that it must be nice to rent anything for free while working at Blockbuster. Oh, Sara smiled at that and my mind made a list of DVDs I'd love to get my hands on to replicate.

So, what's the problem? Well, I've come over this shyness and issue with very little mojo due to my past. J did her wonders with me in knocking me off my mountain top of serenity and had me wanting to be left alone. Now, I may still be lying on the ground but I'm definitely into someone, Elizabeth or Sara? My issues are so trivial.

Why is it so fucking impossible to ask out a girl!?! I can bench press over 300 pounds, talk to former prisoners that come to my gym to work out, talk to the prettiest sorority girl, and embarass the hell out of myself but when it comes to the fear of rejection, I'm as active as a dead fish.

My past girlfriends have all pursued me. Little ol' me has had girls chase after him in which we were friends first and then lovers. It could be charisma of my moronic charm to appear like a blabbering idiot. That's kind of why Hugh Grant's characters remind me of me.

J went after me head on and then seduced me on the first date.

Jen went after me by asking me to sleep with her on the first night I was in her dorm room

M and I were friends for a bit til I ended up massaging her clitoris once her roommates went to bed. How my fingers ended up there is a story all it's own. Boy did my hands smell good, though!

Kristan told me she wanted me since she first saw me walk out of the stretching room in May but we ended up together near my birthday later on.

There's more but I'm just trying to tell you that I have no clue as to how to pursue girls. They are a very confusing sex that I enjoy knowing but am shy towards the ones that I'm interested in. Sad, I know.

So, I am guessing that this coward will be playing it out. I'll continue talking to Elizabeth when she gets into the gym as well as get all goofy in the aisles with Sara once I return movies for my dad. Maybe the words, "Do ya wanna see King Arthur with me?" will come out. Knowing me, it will sound like:

"Dhoho waNNuh Chee Kwink Ardur wid Maw?"

Yeah, I'll sound like a white guy impersonating a rapper with a side of a problem in Ebonics.

If I had to have a choice, I'm thinking of Elizabeth because she shares my love of working out and looks really good! Oh, she likes beer! After dealing with J's hatred for me having even just 1 beer after dinner at a restaurant, this is a good thing. Plus, did I tell you that Elizabeth is so cute?

I know that if you are a girl reading this, you'll probably be laughing at how pathetic I am, especially due to my past sexual exploits. Things just seem to gravitate towards me, luckily enough. However, I may have to work on getting myself all pumped up to kiss a fair maiden.

What else have I been doing? I've been working on that Greek Mythology book that had been collecting dust due to finding other things to keep myself busy. Did I ever tell you that I may have ADD? Hey, look a my hair is extra pretty today!

*Bah!*

The amusingly very dark and gothic graphic novel, Dogwitch, has me wondering where my sense of humor has gone. I'm not kidding that I laughed at a part where the banned witch (Dogwitch) shot out of her vagina several miniatures of herself that she was forced to kill. Confused? Let's just say that I have found a new indie comic that doesn't have your usual sense of humor.

Well, I am outta here to deal with smacking my head up against the wall for my cowardice. Maybe that trip to Bald-O's this weekend will soothe me over. I need the guys to root me on in my further exploits to embarass myself.

-13 beers: 12 dollars

-Watching Hedgehoggy dance insanely to "Love Shack": Only 4 minutes of life lost

-Seeing the look on Hedgehoggy's face at the possibility of asking out a girl: Priceless

- - 2009-07-07

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