I'm still suffering from a major bout of depression. It all happens here and there in which I will suddenly have to lean to get myself out of bed. You see, when I get like this, I tend to lay there and stare at the ceiling for a hell of a lot of wasted time.

What I was wondering was whether I was coming off that high from the 4th get together with Bald-O or just my own pathetic hatred for myself. Either way, there will be times I wish that my mom had an abortion instead of having me.

Ah, but I have no reason to be this way. There are no student loan bills from college since I went pretty much for free. I have no rent to pay but I sure as hell want to because I'd rather have my own place instead of serving into my parents' chaos. I'm sure that I will be well put for life since I am going to inherit much money in the future (I'll be investing so no Lamborghini, folks. I know that I must be boring or something since you won't find me in a strip joint getting blowjobs.) that has me wondering if I should get a house or save up even more.

I'm not sure why I am thinking this far ahead but it could be in talking to Alex at the gym. His girlfriend, too, cannot find a job in this town so she's going back to school. There'll be rooms of unemployed and hungry fuckers like me so let's all get wasted!

Let's ramble:

-I think the Republicans are trying to use the threat of Al Qaeda as a means to take the eyes off of John Kerry as well as scaring people into thinking Bush can handle 4 more years. Scary, considering how much the public doesn't think for themselves.

-Benched 5 plates, tonight! Holy shit!!! That's 5 45-pound plates and adds up to 450 pounds of amazing iron, folks. Just what kind of frustration am I working off in the gym!?! People have said that my chest muscles are very strong so a few compliments at this time are good in this time of feeling depressed.

-Missed Elizabeth in the gym, last night, by 10 minutes. A friend told me she arrived right after I left so this made me feel bad. I was supposed to show her my giant scrapbook. Jody asked me if there was "something" else I wanted to show Elizabeth. What, my shoe collection?

-A lot of people from Diaryland seem to be missing. I miss some good quality reads, folks. Diaries can be like a newspaper for me since I like to sit and have a good story or thought presented to me at certain times.

-Last 10 DVDs I bought: Evil Dead, A Man Apart, Torque, The Tin Drum, Sister My Sister, Ridicule, The Butterfly Effect, Return Of the King, Trainspotting, and Fangoria's Blood Drive. Weird and oddly cluttered assortment to fuel my movie desires, huh?

-Love my new windshield but now I also need A/C, a CD player, and a muffler. Definitely wishin' that MTV's Pimp My Ride would come here just to get all that. I don't see the need for a DVD player in my car.

-We have rain predicted all week.......just like last week. Fuck. I love summer rain but enough's enough.

It's strange to feel like I'm just taking up space here on Earth.

So, I'm sorry to report that I feel so awful but this is a diary. If you want the goofy, weird, and a bit insane version of me, just read my rendition of what happened on the 4th, last entry. It contains all kinds of fun stuff in which I mention my balls and mosquitos.

"Go together, like a horse and carriage...."

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07