Yessirree, I parked my tiny little butt on a chair in the middle of the mall for what my ex-girlfriend (Kristan) called "people watching." You see, I was on my way out of the place but I got sucked right back in thanks to some hootin' and hollerin' from a fellow mall nutsack, a shoplifter.

There was this black guy dressed in a white polo shirt and semi-nice tan slacks that was being ordered by mall security to move forward. The guy was not touched in any way but seemed to look back at this security guy as he was led to the shoe store. Now, I have no clue as to how he got a pair of shoes out of the store since his clothing could not conceal such articles but I'm guessing I was wrong on the shoplifting charge. He probably harassed the black girl working at the shoe store. Sad.

Most people in the mall didn't pay much attention but I did. It's obviously that I've had a bad week that this matter was entertainment for me. The guy bitched back and forth about how he didn't do this or that while the mall security kept a careful eye.

After what seemed like a good 10 minutes of hearing "bitch this" and "bitch that," the guy walked off. From this observation, I can tell you that mall security is not allowed to touch the suspects but to watch. Each exit to the mall had security keeping guard while a police officer came a short while later. This ending happened as I walked to my car with the hopes that I didn't miss anything more like the guy suddenly decides to show his superpowers and climbs to the top of the mall all while the X-Men's Wolverine decides to chop him up since harassment is a serious charge in Hedgehoggy's world.

*Long time readers know that a woman would not leave me alone at work, once.*

It's been the start of Snoopy's first story sentence:

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

That's right. Once again, we have rain and rain and rain. Mom tried to cheer me up by grilling outside since the succulent taste of burgers on a real grill (not gas) make me all gooey inside. Temporarily, I was quite happy and stopped staring at my ceiling.

The fact that one of my favorite movies was on today kind of helped as well, The Professional.

"Benny.....get me everyone. EVERYONE!"

Gawd, I missed that professional acting of Gary Oldman along with an impressive shootout at the end that even involved a very young Natalie Portman (soon to be seen in Garden State!). That movie had some heart and a mind to show it with violence. Loved the longer version on DVD.

I'm trying to finish Greek Legends And Stories since I want to get into this great graphic novel/story called "Diary Of A Teenage Girl" that looks so good (takes place during the 70's in San Francisco). It's my temporary ADD that has me feeling like I'm in a rush since as much as I love stories of Perseus and Medusa, I wanna get into some real life stuff.

Greek myths are what I think as completely ridiculous in some ways but the stories are so unique. How the fuck do people come up with this stuff!?! A woman turned into a spider? Zeus liked to fuck everyone? Eros was an invisible lover? I'm not sure why but I love the info on Cerebrus, the three headed dog that protects The Underworld, my kind of place.

Come to think of it, doesn't Cerebrus sound like "Fluffy," that dog that keeps watch in a Harry Potter book? Maybe, it's just me and my mind playing old Jedi tricks.

Saw some kinky cartoon of Luke Skywalker getting a blowjob while being trained by Yoda. Who knew guys that live in their parents' basements had the exact same thoughts as I did? Mine were not exactly on Princess Leia and that bikini but more on wearing Boba Fett's gear and getting some major head from the Rancor or eating out that dancing girl that Jabba sentenced to death in the pit. Go figure.

Reading reviews of The Cure's latest album. Only one mag has given them low scores, Blender. Like I said, this band has stayed in my head for long periods of time due to "Burn" and "Friday, I'm In Love." I swear that I turn into a pixie when I hear that last one. How can you not dance to that song?

$19.95 for a person't email address for online dating? I give mine only to those that I trust. Plus, I screen for felons and wish that all dorks would unite and learn how to play baseball. Did you know that Tara Reid is said to be online dating? That girl is a great actress!

*Laughs really, really hard for bad joke*

So, I am off to dream of pixies sprinkling sugar on my penis and enjoying all those 40something little tongues going to work. I'm different but special.

Goodnight to:

-Sara

-Sammy

-Maria

-Alison

-Lulu

-and all those other people that seem to like to read my diary to see what weird shit I come up with or laugh at my troubles.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07