"Let's guillotine Grandma!

Let's guillotine Grandpa!

Then, put Grandma in the soup!"

I'm not sure why an old Billie And the Boingers song plays in my head but it just does. I'd love to share my all time favorite one, "Girl, You Just Stink," but not right now. Alas, I have a personal issue.

The mail came around noon, today, as I sat there munching on my usual, flat bread with mozzarella cheese and a yogurt. Trust me. I'm the leader of boring when it comes to an actual diet because I can live off of easy things just as I used to have a mushroom/cheese omellet EVERY FUCKING MORNING in college.

Well, my old high school is holding it's reunion on *I think* August 5-7th. To start things off, it's at a bar! Holy shit! What better way to get wasted with the people you did not do so with in high school?

*I only had 4 beers throughout high school and 1 was a cooler. I'm sure high school would have been better if I hadn't been so uptite and actually had sex with Beth, my high school sweetheart. Well, I was also scared of her waterbed, k?*

The whole reunion starts at a bar, goes to the school, and then has a dance on the last day. Weird. I'm sure we'll all rediscover that everyone was an asshole by the second day so there will be no dance even though "Thriller" starts playing.

My issue is a personal one. You see, I hate someone with the absolute amount of hate you can have. This person might show up with his wife, whom he married a short while ago, from what I've heard. What I am not sure of is how I will react because he did something to me along with other things since I was a bit smaller than him.

We'll call him "Z" and he raped one of my friends at her house. It drove me mad to hear this, that he would rape this girl on her birthday due to her being so intoxicated! No police because Z was popular thanks to playing on our basketball team. Oh, how I hated watching him and his arrogance as his mullet flopped around. Z was cruel to everyone that he found weaker than himself.

It's strange how my anger has never left. I've had dreams where there was some point that I got revenge in some way toward Z. Oh, I laughed at his pitiful confusion as to what happened. Gawd, I hate Z so much and have had to listen to MR tell me to let it go. I cannot since I had to deal with him in private Catholic school all the way to high school.

I'm not sure if I will attend my high school reunion. Unlike those that are worried about how many pounds they've put on (I sure as hell look much better than then), I just have an issue with 1 guy that I'd love to break his bones. Will this make me train even harder in the gym these coming weeks? We'll see......

Nothing like the sight of the original Superman to make me feel good, tonight. I had forgotten that Marlon Brando played the father of K-El so I smiled as I saw him place him in the space ship designed to look like the common cold magnified 1000 times. Neat-O! Those guys were ahead of their time!

You know what almost brings tears to my eyes? The Superman theme song has to be the best instrumental song for a superhero........ever. Everytime I play that song on CD, I get all gooey and mushy that my shorts and socks need an extra amount of kitty litter to absorb what's goin' on down there. Was that an overshare?

Speaking of superpowers, I'd like to have the X-ray vision to see through things but not in what this guy from our town did:

-A guy was caught placing a camera in the dressing rooms of our mall's swimsuit place. What he'd do is place a camera on a pile of clothes on then pass them underneath the room. I'm not quite sure how this works but police searched the guy's house here in town and found a massive load of tapes of women changing.

Damn! Isn't that fucking freaky to have to worry about someone watching you change? I've always thought that women have quite a few areas that give them advantages over the male sex but the fact that they always have to worry about some prick trying to take a peek up the skirt is just tacky. That's why if I were suddenly turned into a girl I'd have to worry. I tend to sit "balls out." Damn things need air.

I've always said that if my girlfriend or wife poops in front of me, that's it. No more relationship due to my need to keep some things sacred. Yes, I know girls poop, too. Known that since I was....uh....14 or so but it takes the fantasy away in some ways. Just why did the designer have to put the snackbar so close to the shithole?

Well, some guys are really into that kinky stuff but even though I think a girl's asshole is cute, gonna keep the "brown stuff" out of it. Farting is okay but that's only on occasion and she has to be really, really gassy to get away with that one. Hey, I'm used to my mother doing it so........

Just where the fuck am I on this entry?????

Still working on that Greek Myths book and having a hell of a time understanding the names of these dudes. Aphrodite, Zeus, Icarus, and Cerebrus are familiar but there are a lot of names that escape me. Athens got cheated into having to hold the world up on his shoulders. When we get into The Trojan War, I am so gonna be pissed because I'll start picturing Brad Pitt and his Pantene hair with that awful movie version of it all.

What I am also dabbling in is a book whose title escapes me for now. It's a bunch of essays comparing horror movies and porn to actual thought. It's quite good and even includes black and white photos, complete with nudity! Funny to see one of my all time favorite porn movies, Deep Throat, with a picture of Linda Lovelace and her legs spread wide open for this guy to examine. Reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, Kristan, in how she taught me how to pleasure a woman's vagina by teaching me in this way.

What's funny to me is the first long essay talks about the good things to be found in the horror movie, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mind you, this is that 70's one in which Gunnar Handson (played Leatherface) wore the same clothes for weeks straight due to budget factors and no one wanted to eat with him by the second week thanks to the Texas heat. Funny.

There are some really good essays to come, especially on Italy's famous horror director, Dario Argento. If you are not familiar with him, watch Opera. Nicely done and I like it better than the famous one he had on witches, Suspiria. I'll get into that stuff as well but Opera had some really good cinematography thanks to the use of crows with an elemant of fear. Dario's latest work has pretty much sucked.

I wish there were a pill to stop my mom from farting since they discovered one that reduces sheep gas up in Europe. Just a thought.

Just for the record, I never fart in front of girls. My mother and grandma don't count. I'm not sure why this is but I'm guessing that it's my proper upbringing.

Well, I am off to dwell on whether I will go to my high school reunion or not. It's a good excuse to get completely sloshed and show how much stronger I am. While others became paper pushers, I worked my ass off in the gym to become Superman. If you are a female, just don't fart or discuss bowel movements in front of me. That's my weakness.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07