And I tried to make my move

I had to roll down the windows

To keep my face from turning blue."

-Billie And the Boingers' "You Stink But I Love You"

Right now, I'm pretty much at the point that asking out that squirrel that hangs around my backyard is my only clear shot for love. It's so nice to have a cute little furry animal with a crush on little ol' me. Feel the love?

Oh, I've had a horrible day but the night in the gym was hilariously full of fast conversations and the first time I've ever touched another guy's butt. I'm serious! One of my friends asked me to "spot" him on his wide grip pull-ups in which I had to help lift his belt for those last few reps. In the act of passion itself, I felt a little cheek. My ex-girlfriend turned me gay without telling me! The horror!

In all seriousness, it was the first time I've ever been asked to help someone do pull-ups. They are a very tough exercise no matter how strong you are. My hand has been disenfected at least 3 or 4 times to rid the fairy dust.

Yeah, the gym was hella fun tonight due to Jody showing up early and helping me do my 65 pound dumbbell lifts. Fucking heavy and worth the pain because to my right was Elizabeth working out with some guy. The mix of adrenaline/hurt helped me lift a bit harder, tonight.

Jody knows I like Elizabeth so he picked on me about her training with this guy, someone that looked very out of place in my gym of steroid freaks, sexy gay men, amazonian women, and guys that attract small squirrels. After much debate, we came to the conclusion that Elizabeth's dude was just a friend. Just how did we do that?

Jody and I consulted an expert, another girl. She read the body language and the way they talked. That and the fact that she knows Elizabeth and this guy. Score one for Hedgehoggy! Felt good to know my little crush can continue. Balls are slowly coming back up.

Well, the only issue was that I could not show Elizabeth my giant scrapbook due to her cycling while I was leaving. Just bad timing so tomorrow she'll be around. I'm hoping without the "male companion."

What bothers me about Elizabeth is that I get all flustered around her and tend to babble. I'm sure it's cute at times but due to my need to be a perfectionist here and there, I piss on it. What made it a bit harder to concentrate on my own workout was that Elizabeth was wearing little black shorts and a tummy baring t-shirt. I'm wondering if she's testing whether I'm gay since I do have this tendency to share my feelings.

Editor: "A guy with a diary!?! Oh, that is, like, so masculine, you little fruit!"

It shouldn't be much of a surprise that Elizabeth is once again in the ring with me. I'm not sure how long I'm good for but I'm hoping my sweet personality will keep her attention and that I can get a full sentence out without checking out her sexy short shorts. Girls are, like, so cruel.

So, I sit there reading about the movie, King Arthur, and get very unhappy about the fact that it was originally supposed to be a hard "R" rating. Isn't that right? You've got a major battle where things get cut off, from heads to arms. Don't you want a bit of realism instead of people behaving like The Three Stooges?

What I am happy about is that the DVD will contain the R rated version of King Arthur. I'm really, really hoping that there is some kind of nude scene with Keira Knightley to add as well. She's so dreamy, what with that bow and sword of hers while doing some weird yell in battle gear.

Earlier today, I put the second coat of paint on the patio furniture. I'm loving all this spray painting so much that I might live a life of crime by going to the railroad tracks to put my name out there. My only worry is that I might misspell it due constant debates with myself as to what is a cool way of spelling it since there are no do overs.

Well, I am gonna head on up to mah little bed for some shuteye. I've got to pick up the DVD, The Dreamers, get gas, develop a set of pictures to place in the scrapbook, and somehow putting a stop to playing with this little squirrel's feelings.

- - 2009-07-07

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