Well, I had an interesting start of a day! While in Wal-Mart, the most evil place in the world to the point that even the shopping carts need to have an exorcism, a little girl was with her mom while the mom developed her digital pictures on a machine. This little 5 year old is standing around but takes quite a notice to my shoes, Air Jordan XIX's.

Circling like a shark about to attack its prey, the little girl stepped on my shoes! How dare this little fuck decide to try to ruin a good pair of AJs that I take a great amount of love to! That tiny little footprint provided by this little girl's cheap piece of shit Keds will not be forgotten.

In all seriousness, it was just weird to have a little girl so obsessed with my red/white Air Jordan XIX's and then decide to step on them. Even my dogs have some kind of obsession with them to the point where they stare directly at them. Who said that girls are the only shoe obsessed out there? Fuck Jimmy Choos!

By the way, I'd like to add that 2 of the 3 girls in HBO's Sex And the City would not get any male ass here in my town. No way. Kim Catrall and Sarah Jessica Parker are just so ugly that after hearing how much ass these characters were getting made me wonder how blind the guys are. I'm guessing that after 13 beers Kim Catrall, with sagging tits and major cottage cheese, does look kind of good. Kind of.

Well, with the start of my shoes getting attacked, I knew the day would be all downhill........

The only ultra cool highlight was our newscenter's report on the safety of pool water due to fecal matter being stuck on little kids' butts. Yup, it's diarhea season!

My mom and I laughed our asses off as a female reporter had to give an in depth report on just how bad the pool water in Illinois is due to little kids with diarhea thanks to ya know? Dingleberries. There is a rise in them little bastards thanks to bad parental wiping. Did you know that 0.14% of shit sticks to a little kid's ass?

There is also the major grossness of people that change their kids' diapers poolside. Oh, yeah, as I'm swimming, I'm gonna love the scenery of "diaper chili." Take the fuckin' kid to the restrooms, you fucks!

Newscenter: "This just in! A muscular male wearing a retro G.I.Joe t-shirt has declared war on little girls that stomp on shoes and to rid the world of kids that don't know how to wipe their asses. (Laughs) Hey, Ron, just how the fuck do I keep a straight face? Oh, we're still live?"

I love scotch.

Man, if there is one guy in the world that has a similar look to me, it's Mark Whalberg. Yeah, the guy that used to be known as "Marky Mark" or best remembered as Dirk Diggler. Seeing Mark being interviewed on Leno had the egotistical side of me sprouting out. The biceps? Got those. Wide back? Got it. Chest? Mine's a bit thicker but yup. Thin stomach? Close to Mark's but good enough. Height? 5"10" just like you know who. Body weight? 186 tight pounds, just like Mark. Now, if only I wore shirts that accentuate things instead of hiding. The only way you'd know I'm a weightlifter is by seeing the bulging veins in my thick forearms what with all the huge t-shirts I wear. Very few white boys pull this shit off in my gym so I guess this is why J did not like me wearing a shirt.

Hardly anyone was in the gym, tonight. It was eerily quiet so it's no surprise that Elizabeth did not show. Pinkee-swearing didn't get her there but I'm not bitching over it. The workout itself was so dull that I thought about going home midway thanks to my body not being into it. Most of the usual people I talk to were not in the gym so I was bored, bored, bored. Besides, Elizabeth has to deal with things I may not know about such as the fact that she does drive the family car.

Never plan. You'll only get disappointed. Live crazy. It keeps you awake.

-Hedgehoggy

So, I'm just gonna head on up to my room and read a bit of Greek Mythology and laugh at myself. At least for now, I don't have to deal with being in an environment that consists of finklestein shit kids and trailer trash moms that can't keep their friggin' kids away from my shoes. Ah, next time, I am bringing a hammer when I go to Wal-Mart...........

- - 2009-07-07

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