When I read a book that has grabbed me by the neck til I have suddenly bent over and become its bitch, I become a recluse. A good example is when I was reading my little brother's "It" by Stephen King. All 1,000 and some pages were read in a single day without me even getting out of bed except to pee/eat. I swear I was absorbed into this world of a child killer that happens to feed of their nightmares until the kids wisen up and kill It only to have It reappear years later. By the way, I read that book 2 times and still have it on my massive bookcase along with the markings that my first and only complete love made while borrowing it on her trip to Hawaii.

So, it should come as no surprise that I cannot put down Jenna Jameson's "How To Make Love Like A Pornstar." Unlike, my reading of It, I have much to do all while jumping back into my bed and reading 2 or 3 chapters only to leave again. I'm on page 245 and lovin' every detail about life for Jenna, the good and the bad.

That brings me to a point I was thinking that relates to Diaryland. It seems that no matter how bad things get, someone out there can relate. Bad job? Been there. Hate the family? I'm sure there are others that would love to get rid of an uncle or 2. No sex life? Oh, I may miss it but I'm not fucking right now so preach it out, baby.

I'll tell you this: I miss sex a lot!

I don't know how else to put it. Every little thing you place for an entry, someone out there will feel those same things going on throughout. When Jenna Jameson started going off about her family life, I felt like I'd been there as well.

My year has started into complete shit. First my grandma got diagnosed majorly with alzheimer's, the cousins decided to take over things (namely, the family fortune), I couldn't find a job, I met a girl named J whom fucked me but went all psycho, my dog became ill, and my body was fucked from working in the extreme heat thanks to our sudden urge to replace our outside deck. 2004 was not our year and I am dying to get a new start. It's gonna be really hard once Valentine's Day comes around since I'll always have the memory of eating out J after our first date. What's your excuse?

Oh, I do set my little butt outside for my own personal errands. It's always Wednesdays when the bad element in town must go to the local comicbook store, namely those that think for themselves.

What did I get after talking to my friend Rodney for close to a half hour? Rogue #2 with its pathetic excuse for art but the story is lightly keeping me in but I like the covers. Ultimate Spiderman #64 has me addicted for life thanks to the storylines and impressive artwork. X-Men's The End #2 only because I felt like I had to get it but ended up not even reading it all due to so-so artwork. G.I.Joe but I wasn't really into it once I finished reading. I blame my love of Jenna Jameson's book on all this since I laughed at her describing how a porn star "accidently" came inside her so she had to squirt it out of her vagina and into the camera.

Priest: "Now, that type of sexual activity is disgusting! Bring on the little altar boys!"

Is there a special need to know too much information? I'm thinking there is since Jenna makes it a point to tell how porn stars share tips with each other that you won't find elsewhere. How do porn stars' assholes always look so sparkling clean? Baby wipes. What's the best way to trim pubic hair without getting bumps? Just read the book but you're most likely going to be asked for I.D. There's some booby pics that the moral majority may not want you to see.

Babies: "Mmmmmmmmm.....lunch!"

Funny how I do remember myself complaining about my workouts lately. Tonight's was complete bliss and I may even still be floating from my pumped up biceps after all those curls. Even Nick, that arrogant big nosed prick, couldn't stop all the adrenaline flowing. I lifted all 145 pounds in a standing curl with ease.

Being high in a gym is a weird feeling. I had this complete urge to run for miles on a treadmill but the sight of my drenched white "wife beater" told me otherwise. I've no desire for things to get out of hand with a wet t-shirt party in which my man boobies are flying all over the place. Plus, I was still on the hunt for that other book.

Nope. Nada. Zilch. Not one bookstore in my town has "Confessions Of A Bad Girl" by Abigail Vona. Can you see a connection here? Most of my favorite authors are female and show power all while also displaying their weaknesses. I'm an admirer of them since male authors tend to resort to just power. Relating to Jenna Jameson was a cinch but nothing had to do with porn, something I could never do. I'm just too fiercely loyal.

Who knows what I'll do but I know I'll get the book someday. Besides, the dumbass in me has been on full display in that I forgot Goodfellas came out with a special edition. Like some of the other great flicks out there, I've only seen it once. Strange but true.

Want a really spooky true statement? I've never seen the Godfather Trilogy. Not one! All 3 flicks sit in my DVD collection just dying to be spun.

Mom's leaving tomorrow so I'm on dogsitting duty as always. No one else seems to bother with them but me. It's no wonder all 5 Yorkshire Terriers cling to me. Mom thinks that Buffy is in love with me since she mopes when I'm not around.

So, I'm guessing that this entry is not pointless. After all, newscenters devoted discussions on finding Paris Hilton's dog, Tinkerbell, while people in Iraq were shot at and the Olympics were going on. So, I'm hoping that somebody out there understands how I feel. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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