I was recently watching the 52 Most Desirable Women on Spike TV and couldn't help but wonder why I'm in the minority on some of these girls. For one thing, I am not one bit attracted to Halle Berry, Jello, or Jessica Simpson. Anna Kournikova bores me since she constantly shows that it's all about looks.

I've been laughed at on my choices for the most beautiful women. Apparently, Keira Knightley does not have big enough boobs. So what!?! Keira has a major load of talent that Jello constantly lacks. Halle Berry just doesn't get to me at all even if I do admire a few of her choices in flicks.

It's not all about looks for me. I've liked Kate Beckinsale not only just for how good she looked as a Death Dealer in Underworld but also because she can actually show a sense of self mixed with humility. You don't see her acting all diva-like at premieres by demanding stupid things.

Jello, most of your movies are pitiful, the acting horrendous, and your desire to be so false in "from the block" really reeks. I was forced to sit through The Wedding Planner and may have laughed just once. Was it supposed to be a comedy?

It seemed like the lower Spike's numbers got that it all got worse. I'm in aggreement with Fergie of Black Eyed Peas along with Tyra Banks and Kate Bosworth. Kate was amazing in Blue Crush, a movie that I do adore and found myself liking more than I thought I would. Fergie is just so cute and the abs are irresistable.

So, obviously, you can see that I am a bit better. It's temporary since I go through periods of depression, folks. The one thing I noticed is that they seem to happen majorly near my birthday (Sept. 6). Why is this? Do I have anxiety issues on age, namely my own? It's definitely not an issue with other people since I did date a 29 year old woman while I was 19. It seemed other people had a problem with that but I disagree. How else is a boy to really learn how to go down on a woman?

Editor: "Little girls tend to giggle too much, I take it?"

Gawd, a local free paper in my town publishes weekly. I pick it up from my gym on Thursday nights and read what other people have the money and time to do. It's mainly about getting drunk or "crunk'd" as some people call it. I'm a bit passed going out to bars til I can barely even walk. Just why do bars have parking lots if you're not allowed to drink and drive?

Well, what I love to turn to in the weekly free paper is the pictures of an apartment downtown. I don't know why they do this but I'm guessing it's to show what not many people get to see, a nice apartment near big businesses. Since it's pure candy for me to see what other people do to design how they live, I find myself staring at each picture.

There is a huge part of me screaming to move out of my parents' house here. My mom does not want me to until a bit later, mostly when I have an actual job. I know for a fact that once I do move out, I'm gonna decorate so freakin' much that no one will be able to keep up with me. I'm a design freak and scary at it, too!

Most guys I know do their apartments, houses, or....(ahem)....trailers a bit boring. I've got spice since my hobbies have included collecting old movie posters (my original Friday the 13th will never leave my house), movie memorabilia (I've got a Gremlin toy!), DVD collection (over 800 so I'm my own library), music collection (we be playin' Garbage and Guns N Roses), freaky stuff (Air Jordan collection and shoe freak is me), reading material (every Playboy and so many comics to put on the main table for all visitors but nothing for pervs since I'm just not a Hustler type of guy) and full of ice breaking material (yes, that is an original Nagel poster). J was freaked out when she first saw my room since I've been a spoiled child.

Audience: "Fuck that bitch!"

It's weird to me since I look at other apartments and I debate silently how I'd rather do them. In no way do I criticize but just within myself for future reference. I've always saluted individuality and yes, I have come across a girl's room that had pictures of guys with penises on full display. Some girls really like 'em!

When the Olympics leave, I'll be pretty sad since I've gotten into certain people all because of 'em. Carly Patterson, Natalie Coughlin, Michael Phelps, and so many others had me cheering them on. My favorites are Women's Gymnastics, Women's Diving, Men's Swimming, Women's Softball, and a few others. I'm pretty picky as it is but I find it so sad that the so many stadiums have empty seats. I'd only leave to work out in my gym but be back for the rest. The Olympics are every 4 years so it's a mistake to take these few weeks as a time to get drunk instead of attending.

Editor: "Meeting pink elephants is the way to go if you're into that type of thing. Besides, she's pretty cute after 16 beers."

I'm going to drop by Jody's tomorrow to see how he's doing after one of his parents died. He's a really nice guy so I'll cut down on my usual teasing of his gym habits. You see, Jody and I like to goof off on each other's little quirks as we work out.

Besides, Jody has been painting his house and HATES it. Me? I love painting rooms, houses, apartments, etc. It's fun to change the colors of places so I was wanting to help Jody out on the weekends. My only problem would be if he offered me beer and we end up downing over 12. Painting takes on a whole new meaning.

Question: Has anyone ever seen that guy that shoots paint out of his asshole onto a canvas? Interesting. I've also seen vagina painting in which a woman would squat to make imprints.

- - 2009-07-07

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