fit to burn,

and I'll rip your heart in two."

There are times I cannot believe the need to see someone in his/her most vulnerable moment. The camera just had to follow this woman after she had done a shitty dive and lost out on a chance to medal in these Olympic Games. I keep wishing she would turn around and bash the person holding this camera all while twisting his balls. Ah, but we don't want to ruin the spirit now do we?

Yeah, I'm still in that Olympic thrill. You can tell by my toes' desire to be shielded in my Special Edition Olympic Air Jordans as I cheer and get angry over little things such as that above. That woman should have been left alone.

Of course, I'm always in awe of the women's gymnastics what with their grace and amazing bodies adapted from long hours of flippin' and jumpin' from here to there. Jealousy erupts when I see a cute row of 6 abdominal muscles quietly peaking out through a thin fabric.

Not surprisingly, as a lover of asses, I have to cover my eyes during some of them on display. I mean, Carly Patterson is 16 and the pupils on my eyes start to get more deep as the lovely cheeks are on display!?! It's terrible for us guys that love the gluetus maximus at its finest.

The really, really hard problem? Carly Patterson has a face similar to my ex-girlfriend, J. I didn't want to mention it but I am now. The good thing is that there are enough differences that I don't get all steamed up. J was not a girlfriend that had anything special about her, other than making my life a little bit more hectic in what she didn't understand.

You put these people with bodies like Carly Patterson, Courtney Kupets, or even the Romanian girls such as Catalina Ponor and you admire these physiques. That's fine but what you need to understand is that these are people with a discipline that I share. My love of working out may not equal 8 to 10 hours in the gym but I do it more than most Americans since I just cannot sit there.

J did not understand my desire to build my body. Although she always insisted that my shirt be off, she wanted me around more. Yeah, eating out at restaurants with J's friend, the moronic Brandi. Ugh. I hated sitting there with those two while I wanted to get a real workout and see my nighttime buddies. Why did I change to suit J?

I mean, today, I did errands, worked out in the afternoon, went to class, and then ran on the treadmill to see the Olympics (plus the Cubs game and some sitcom that has me laugh every once in a while). It felt a bit better in that I accomplished something rather than sitting there chowing down while watching fit bodies doing what I love to do.

Editor: "You are moving into arrogance, my boy. Go back!"

I envy these girls and their gymnastics desire. Gawd, I know what Carly was talking about when it comes to pain because I had to soak in the tub a bit longer. The hot water helps soothe my aching shoulders and shin splints are such a bitch that a tiny mosquito running into me will cause pain. It'll all pay off in the long run, right?

So, make fun of us for being so into our bodies or whatever you want. The arrogant pricks that don't have much in their heads are what deserve this but some of us, like moi, just see the human body as a temple but in no way will I ever venture into Arnold Schwarzeneggar territory. THAT is just too much muscle.

Psst.......besides, it makes our dicks look so much smaller. We all know most women are "size queens."

So, I get to the gym and see Jody has come back after dealing with one of his parents' death. He's still pretty quiet but I'm willing to creep around in getting back to our usual teasing each other on workouts and who makes the weirdest noises while the prettiest girls pass.

Jody: "Look, Mike, there's another one! Oogah-Boogah!" *Jody does a mating dance that kind of mimics an ostrich in heat*

Believe it or not, it can be an issue in my gym. Because of the fact that many college students have come back, we get a lot of them at my gym. You'll see a bit too many sorority letters on little pink shorts.

How does my town know that the college students are back? Just go to the biggest grocery store where carts passing by will be filled with beer, mops, tampons, and paper towels. If there is 1 sole cart with these items (denoted by the cute pink shorts with sorority letters), I do not want to know what kind of weekend is being planned but for the boyfriend's sake, I'd be on a train.

Announcer: "Yeah, can I get a price check on this box of Tampax and M&M's........whoa! That's a lot of lube! Busy girl, huh?"

So, my aching body is dying to rest it's weary head. Yup, my little dog, Buffy, has worn me out with squeaky toys being thrown all after running on the treadmill and getting into a discussion with the guy next to me about the upcoming election. Sounds kind of kinky? Minds out of the gutter, please. Hedgehoggy needs sleep. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07