So, I get the horrible realization from my mother that she was something in the past that I had never ever thought of being. After all these years, she never showed the signs of bubbliness or sudden moments of shouting out excitement. Yup, Mom was a cheerleader.

It's fun to play around with my mom's head so I go around the house chanting, "Go, boys! Go, boys!" while she starts laughing. Mind you, this is 8th Grade when my mom was doing this so I'm sure that the chants were quite close to my own. Mom says it's more like, "Go team!"

Along with my sudden desire to bring out my inner cheerleading skills that have remained in the closet ever since my little incident of sleeping with Jen to which she taught me some moves at 4am in the morning, I have learned of a great disturbance in the Force. My old high school has suddenly decided on suspending girls for wearing too little clothing and boys for wearing too revealing of t-shirts that are cut on the side (like what I was wearing in the gym tonight). I've only been issued a warning and that was from my P.E. teacher that was upset with the word "Shit" clearly labeled on the back of my Cypress Hill t-shirt I wore in gym. The complete slogan:

"That Phunky Cypress Hill Shit"

Apparently, the marijuanna leaf was not an issue but a 4-letter word gets some problems. Actually, I just like wearing it because it's damn comfy and actually fits me.

All of this info comes from my 16 year old friend with the complete body of sin that guys in the gym are trying to avoid due to the age issue. It's funny how they will stare big time since this girl wears barely anything. Let's see.....we've got see through white shirts and the tiniest shorts worn all while she squats and thrusts her legs. Yes, this 16 year old with a body most girls would kill for thinks she is fat.

It comes as no suprise that my 16 year old friend has been suspended quite often. I'm sure it was guys running into lockers for staring or maybe it was a massive squadron of erections that suddenly pop up when she gives a speech. Can you imagine a high school teacher having to deal with so many thick penises at one time?

The funny thing is that I told her about all this. She's so humble about it and full of thoughts of her being fat that it's nice and sad at the same time.

Folks, I am going to spend some much needed time in the gym to get out some obvious aggression and issues within. It cannot be helped since I've got all this energy hyped up from anger at the world's damning itself by ignoring this presidential race's issues and focusing more on John Kerry's swift boat experiences. Who woulda thought that a guy that served is in more trouble than a guy that went AWOL to hide? War veterans should be ashamed of themselves in how stupid we now look.

I've also got something wrong with the left side of my chest that causes small pains. I've been told in the past that my body gets a bout of high cholesterol even though I lift weights like a fiend. It's the fact that I need to add aerobic activity to keep it under control that's a bitch. Trust me. I'm going to need to teach myself to run better to clean my insides up. I'm also letting stress get to me since an overblown argument with someone that is dear to me.

Now, most everyone knows I get a real kick out of feminine hygeine commercials for all their unintentional humor. In the past, I've talked about how loopy the commercial for Pearl Glides are in showing them being used for a boat leak or how desperate a woman will get to use them instead of some crappy generic brand that won't mop up the mess as well.

Now, we get the most hilarious commercial for maxi pads that I find so hilarious that I'm happy they have not been advertised during my dinner-time. I tend to get easily excited so french fries may shoot out of my nose. In this commercial, a woman comes up to ask other women if they have "odor issues" while they are browsing the aisles. I don't know about you but if I were female, I would just walk away instead of telling the world that my twat stinks really bad. What if someone recognizes you for being in that commercial?

"Oh, your twat smells like a dead cat that's lost all 9 lives in a sewage factory? Mine, too! Gawd, I was so embarassed about talking about it that I now can tell my friends and relatives. Nobody likes me anymore and tend to spray paint "Smelly Twat" on my house. But, hey, I let it out and feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders."

Is it just me that thinks certain things should be kept to themselves and in a private circle? The sad thing is that I know how bad the smell of a twat can get since I've encountered a few.

So, I venture out onto DVD websites to find that the homoerotic movie trying to disguise itself as following a Greek Mythology is making it's debut on DVD on January 4th! I'm so glad to not have been caught up in a movie that has Brad Pitt's hair looking like he used Pantene before every scene. Me likes a little bit more realism in how people looked.

Another release caught my eye and that is of The Hole. It's a little known psychological flick that finds some high school friends locking themselves in a hole in the ground. Naturally, they go crazy and we get to see the lovely Keira Knightley as a blonde. Many will talk about the fact that she flashes her breasts at 16 years of age but what shocked me was a scene that I'm wondering if was the cause of the DVD being taken off the release dates. America can be such prudes on nudity but violence is okay.

In The Hole, Keira Knightley must confront her boyfriend in the shower. Mind you, this is no ordinary shower but a gym shower that we find a bunch of penises on full display as she stands there to give a lecture. Will they cut it out or will we have black boxes that seem to float around? I'm all for having things even in the flicks. If I get to see breasts, bush, and ass, then, girls get to see weiners and ass.

Gawd, this censorship crap we suffer here in The States reminds me of how much I wish Battle Royale would be allowed here. The book is so fucking good and the movie is high praised so what's the issue!?! Oh, we need to get mindless crap like Knight Rider (Dumb TV show) out in the stores rather than something that makes you actually think.

Well, I am off to study for a test 2 weeks from now. This year, I am not putting things off and will let my mind recede into the wonderful world of accounting. Wouldn't you like me to share this newfound knowledge with you? Oh, you just want me to discuss smelly twats and wardrobe malfunctions, huh? Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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