First of all, I would like to wish a pox on the first born of the people that voted Don Johnson's song, "Heartbeat," for 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs. I've loved this song and its simplicity ever since I heard it and yes, I have the actual tape in my car (my tape player has been fucked ever since I started screaming, "Heeeeeeeeeeartbeat!") thanks to a garage sale long ago. "Heartbeat" rocks so good with me that I just cannot understand how talentless rappers get undeserved attention.

So, a day that begins with scrambled eggs and a cinnamon roll will usually end with me and no socks. I like it like that.

Of course, due to my new desire to workout and avoid issues within, I hit the gym for just a short one and a run. Good timing I bring to myself!

A friend of mine's little brother was in the gym and I so love to talk music with those that appreciate the humorous aspects of it. Today's topic was Van Halen, since they are coming to my town. Kevin and I are not much in interest on attending since the band is way past their due for retirement and it's also my belief that without David Lee Roth, it just don't have that schwing.

Who else can wear spandex and do roundhouse kicks? Obviously, not Sammy Hagar and his desire to go to a tropicale and make tequila all while looking like a fatass mophead. He was cool a few times but not with Van Halen. There are some bands in which singers should be fat but not this one. Van Halen was all about great songs like "Jump" and "Hot For A Teacher." Roth represented that take nothing seriousness that I found myelf loving. Fat guy with tequila? Nope.

What? You're surprised that a gymgoer talks about things other than working out? You really shouldn't be since I also saw Kim (great friend and gorgeous blonde) that I tend to tease by mimiccing her running as if it was Kimwatch instead of Baywatch.

*Slow motion running as breasts go flying to the right. Slow motion as breasts go flying to the left.*

I've never seen Kim laugh so hard but it could also be my facial expressions that seem to come out when I'm at my best. Trust me. Kim's seen me at my worst, dog-tired.

So, I applaud those 100,000 proud that are out there protesting in New York thanks to the Republican National Convention or as I like to call 'em, "Yacht Counters." Instead of having that desire to watch a shameless need for self promotion or desire to applaud bland music by tuning into MTV's Video Music Awards, protestors are out there to bring thoughts into mindless people (pretty much 90% of the population, these days) as to how bad the world has gotten since Bush Jr. bought/stole the presidency.

I would have loved to be in New York to watch the protestors and maybe even pee on the corner as I've heard so many in that city do but I live in Illinois so...........

Usher had a great opening performance but I still think he is complete crap. Gawd, the guy is has one of the weirdest looking faces around but for some reason, there are black chicks that think the thugs are not all for them.

Why are the Olsen Twins at the Video Music Awards? It's a school night and they supposedly live in New York in a giant penthous thingee that other students will not see or be invited to trash. What these girls need to realize is that by inviting a bunch of sick drunk fucks, they will have actually experienced "college life." Let's all taunt Mary Kate with a sandwich! I must be the only guy that doesn't find the Olsen Twins to be that great looking since they seem to resemble really big fish.

Will Paris Hilton ever go away? I'm tired of her, Jessica Simpson and that little dog, too.

Christina Aguilera was interesting in singing with Nelly but once again, rappers have no real talent. He just stood there while Christina actually danced. Am I the only one that thinks guys need to stop letting women do all the work?

Oh, but Nelly's shoes were extra nice. He was wearing the Air Jordan IV's that I am dying to own on September 25th. Fucking hell it is to see a moronic rapper from nearby getting free things ahead of time while we people have to wait. I'm wondering if I am becoming a materialistic prick as well.

"Yo, it's gotta be the shoes, Money!"

Before all this MTV nonsense, I finally got to see Jody and his amazing house. It's so fucking new since it was finished last December! 3 floors of beautiful walls that I have yet to crayon.

I didn't paint since I was not needed. Jody did all the work while I sat in the corner to gossip about things we are going through in the gym, the jealousies and rivalries thanks to body-builders gone mad. Steroids do that.

I'm not sure but I might have a few people jealous of me since I'm not paying a bit over $300 for 'roids like the guys in my gym are. Nick hates me since I'm catching up with him in strength and he keeps staring at my shoes, Air Jordans. Victor, Jennifer's boyfriend hates Jody because he thinks something is going on between those two. Forget the soaps and come on down to my gym and laugh/cry with us as we all experience.........

As Da Hedgehoggy Turns!

We've got a missing homosexual named Nick since he graduated from college, a body builder prick named Nick that wears tighty whiteys that hold a mini-wienie, a jealous steroid abuser named Victor being over protective of his blonde girlfriend, and little ol' me that has started a few rivalries since he hates so many of his fellow gym goers. Join us as we celebrate 3 years of Diaryland when we bring you a very special episode on Hedgehoggy being blinded by the horrible sight of 50 year old women that wear yellow Joe Boxer tights that accentuate major panty lines. It's all coming up on As Da Hedgehoggy Turns!

I just don't know how I'd do against Springer since white trash has gotten so picky nowadays.

Well, I'm outta here to sleep and hope that this nasty crick in my neck will go away. Fuckin' hurts when I move my neck to the left side. Gotta stop doing my Night At the Roxbury dance moves. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07