-St. Augustine

Well, I've noticed a lot of diary entries in which people are having shitty days so I'm guessing that this will be a good time to add my own 2 cents.

The left side of my body is pretty much fucked due to too much use with heavy weights. I'm not sure if mine was designed to bench press 5 plates (45 pounds each) or I'm just a bit special in that I was given super powers to save the world crap. I've never given a thought to running around in my underwear so that everyone gets a good look to which direction my balls are swinging but there's always tomorrow......

So, it sucks in that I now feel as if I am on the sidelines watching my team play a sport I fell in love with. Most diarylanders seem to not get involved in sports but I'll try to explain.

I'D RATHER BE DOING WHAT I LOVE! I'm no longer able to lift obscene amounts of weight but much lighter and it feels like I'm weak. Oh, I miss the challenge, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I wanna grunt like a pig and love it.

Ah, but there be gold in them hills in that my shirts may once again fit. Having to tear arm holes to make them more loose is a habit that I'd like to forget. XX-Large is hard to find when there is a t-shirt with a slogan that reads:

"For A Good Time. Call Your Mom."

It's just a small issue in that I miss lifting heavy weight with a bunch of bodybuilders that seem to come out of caves due to their obsessive need to look a bit neanderthal. Gotta love the conversation with the opposite sex when it comes to these guys:

"Me Mike. You love slave."

*Bangs girl's head with club and tosse her over shoulder*

You see, I did work out but not in quite the same way but with a lighter amount of weight in most areas. My shoulder wasn't acting up as much and my wrist was only lightly flaming up. This is just Day 1 of dealing with my banged up body so it's a long way to go for me.

So with that I bring you a night of rambling..........

-Saw 2 women kiss in the car behind me. I was in awe because they were very affectionate for themselves. I'm a believer that no one should hide their love for another. Just don't start humping on the weight benches or I'll have to clean up more "wet spots."

-The local school here had a kindergartener called into the office. While the people were distracted, the little girl took off all her clothes and hauled her little ass out into the street. Here's to this girl that really takes simplicity seriously! I'd only do that in my backyard if a sprinkler was involved.

-Luckily there was a TV show to take my mind off my newly adjusted workout. Hawaii made it's debute and I must say that I love just about anything Michael Biehn is in. Too many crappy cop cliches in the show but I like a guy that can spout such lines as, "He'll come for her. That's all he does! (The Terminator)" or my favorite that I find myself saying from Aliens:

"Outstanding. Now, all we needs a deck of cards."

There's so many more but I've just got to say that James Cameron found a great actor for all of us weirdos to enjoy. If I were gay, I'd chase Michael Biehn around in Speedos.

-Buffy, my tiny Yorkshire Terrier, has been on a poop eating spree that has got me going crazy and not able to accept her kisses. When you pick her up, she is just so affectionate that you want to accept but the breath is just awful! Ugh.

-I'm missing that really skinny girl that tried to talk to me while I was so depressed that day. I find myself thinking about her because she left the gym so abruptly. That is odd since she looks as if she takes her workouts seriously. Oh, I should mention that this girl is so cute with those big brown eyes and yes, I am a sucker for eyes as well as ass.

-Almost done with "Confessions Of A Bad Girl" by Abigail Vona and I am still quite impressed. It gets a little bit duller due to all the retreat's taking away her freedoms but how can you not? Abigail smoked weed, had guys go down on her, and she shoplifted! Actually, it sounds like just about every girl I know so I don't see as much of a problem.

-Gee, aren't all those boring old Republicans so scary looking? They look like bosses that take their jobs so seriously that being around them gives you stomach aches. Money is everything to Republicans so that's why I call 'em "yacht counters." There was this governor that did a long ass speech about how awful John Kerry would be for president and then go on and on about how great Bush has been.

Let's see.......our economy is crap no matter how good the newscenters seem to lie about it being so great, over half the world hates us, we're being led by a complete freak and his corporate greedies urging him on, our deficit is so high that I can't even count that far, and he's talking shit about John Kerry's service while Bush ran away. Old people can be such shits.

On another note, how come John Mccain has lost his mind? He used to be my favorite and I wanted him to get elected back in 2000. Now, John is bitching about Michael Moore's movie when he admitted to not have seen it. Somebody needs to go back to the box and have a time out.

-Reading some diaries has me wishing I could have my old sex life back. Gawd, I miss giving a girlfriend oral sex to give her so much pleasure as well as to drink that yummy drink only girls can make. If you are a male virgin, I do not envy you for not drinking from the furry cup and inhaling its wonderful scent.

-Yeah, I talked to that 16 year old again. I was the only person that did this in the gym. Trust me. If she were 18, every guy would be telling her so many lies to get in between those legs.

I'm just amused at how the two of us seem to hit it off as friends. What I am guessing is that she has a hard time in school what with other girls being so jealous of how she looks. You should see the guys stare at this 16 year old's amazing body but they can only do that, stare. I'm the pure one in bringing friendship and the occasional odd conversation.

-That brings me all to the thought of how I actually lived so long ago. What was life like when I had to beg my mother for a ride anywhere? Gawd, how the hell did I get to see my friends in another part of town? Remind me to kiss my car tomorrow.

So, I bid thee a goodnight and tomorrow will be my last entry til I get back from spending my birthday weekend with my ingenious bald fucker that I just happened to end up being best friends with. 40 acres of land with too much beer on a weekend will take your worries away. It's the 2.5 hours of driving with no a/c that sucks but I'm gonna pee on every tree til I can pee no more.

Editor: "Boys gotta do what boys gotta do."

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