Knowing me, I won't be able to sleep unless I get an entry in. You see, I really should head on up to bed since I've got a 6am wake-up call. We're leaving for the funeral around 7am to head on up north. It's a 1.5 hour drive so I'll be relaxed thanks to it not being as long as my 2.5 hour drives to see the boys.

My grandma didn't want a big deal made out of her death so it's just a small get together at a funeral parlor. The last time I was at one, it was dark and my aunt was in the coffin. I loved her so dearly over many of my relatives thanks to her actually treating me above a child.

My aunt died from a car accident thanks to a deer that came onto the road. You don't wanna know how bad this affected us even if I was so young. My memories center around my aunt and mother crying so hard in the living room. Tears tend to make me turn away so I left into my cousin's room. I'm not sure why I remember all this but I have a really good photographic memory that also holds the emotion I felt at those times.

I've had my second hot bath today all thanks to my having to venture into the gym to let out more of my own personal issues. Lifting really heavy weight is a great way to make you feel too tired to punch all those happy people around you while you are stuck in complete gloom.

Of course, I was sweaty and all that. I'm not sure why but I stopped to stare at a drop of sweat drip down my forearm. Lost in my own personal issues, huh? We're taking this one drip at a time and I feel like I am slowly closing myself off as I go. I really don't need anyone to just tell me that life gets better because I already know that. I'm at the bottom so there is only one way but up.

To put myself in a relaxing mood after my sweat overhaul in the gym, I finished The Punisher. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love this movie with all it's gloom and dark colors. The critics pissed me off in saying how The Punisher gives off too much anger. How would you react to your wife and kid being run over on John Travolta's orders? A Navy S.E.A.L.'s gotta do what a Navy S.E.A.L.'s gotta do.

Jenna Jameson is on Howard Stern right now and I've got to say that Diaryland must be special to me or something. Normally, I'd be listening to every word this woman says because she is so much smarter than politicians and movie stars combined. I wish Jenna would run for president or something since she has more world experience than we'd ever know. Oh, it's the damn porn thing, huh? Well, Jenna just has sex on camera while we do it in private or up in trees so I don't know why there are issues. I'm sure the price of lube will drop if Jenna gets elected.

So, with all this in mind, I will be gone til late afternoon tomorrow at the funeral. We're pretty worried about my dog, Jethro, once again. He's been behaving pretty sickly in the same way as before. See? I'm not sure how bad my life is going to get before it gets better.

This is a good time to say goodnight as I force myself to sleep with peacefulness instead of the usual polar-bear-chasing I've had in my dreams lately. Just what could all this mean? I'm a white man in a cave? When I slip on ice does my rear end really have to head towards the sky? I've got a tendency to chase seals the urinate on the occasional street sign? Oh, I did that last week but who's counting? Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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