Yes, I am back from a funeral up north. The reason I did not post was that I was dog tired from all that happened, emotionally and physically. Just the confusion within me at having to see a dead body, one that I remember as being alive, had me at the peak of thoughts. It's not fair in life to not be able to come up with all the answers.

My grandma, a woman I have not seen in over 3 years (I think), thanks to her venom spitting tongue towards her own family, died of a heart attack the day after my birthday. I'm guessing that I will always remember my birthday as not being wished well and then hearing that she died on the day after.

The last time I saw my grandma (on my dad's side) was at my cousin's wedding. She sat at the table on my left that was quite close to the main table. My grandma wore a purple coat over a white frilly like shirt along with a flower over the left breast portion. Yeah, I'm also obligated to tell that she was one of "those," a cheek pincher.

Editor: "Every little boy dreads it when his grandma pinches his cheeks when greeting. Poor, poor lads."

I'm not going to lie to you. I came very close to crying once I walked into the funeral parlor to see my grandma perfectly still in the coffin. Gawd, I turned away several times to get ahold of myself since I do not cry in front of anyone. My dad taught me that it's wrong for men to cry so I would think of angry thoughts while many of the women in attendence did so. It bothers me when my mom does so I even turned away from her as well.

I've always been a firm believer that even if the person was dead, he/she can still be discussed honestly. I hated the former president, Reagan, thanks to all his fuck ups in helping the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. There was nothing good about him so his death was more of a good riddance. My grandma was not the nicest of women. Well, she was very nice to me but to others, it was like a snake's desire to stalk a baby bird not able to fly.

We found out that my grandma was treated very unkindly by her brothers and sisters so she was used to just saying shit to people without thinking. She even had the nerve to go up to my aunt during another aunt's funeral (the one in the car crash) and tell her that that should have been her in the coffin. Oh, there was shock!

My grandma's death has caused a great disturbance here and there. Memories, good and bad, have come back as my family traveled up north to see my cousins. Here I was at my grandma's freshly filled grave a few hours after the burial that we came to see my aunt's grave as well. You see, my grandma wanted to be buried next to the one that died in the car crash.

From reading the grave, I find that I was 8 when my aunt died on the road thanks to a deer. Gawd, I remember that day so well in which I could not stand to see my aunt and mom cry so I just went into my cousin's room to escape. I love my aunts, all of them.

My grandma's death brought up a lot of memories that had a huge discussion between my parents and aunt and uncle. Many different things were discussed, especially the good. I'm guessing that it's their beliefs to talk good of the dead instead of what I think. My grandma's birth certificate was even on display. Wow! My grandmother's mother was from Austria!

By the way, I was extremely quiet during the discussions since I did not know my grandma that well, only seeing her for bits of time on visits.

Editor: "Always trying to avoid the cheek pinching, huh?"

I missed my cousins! I have 2 of them and both live up in Chicago. Christa is a girl with the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen along with having the most amazing wedding I've ever seen! I've got a few pictures in my scrapbook of how great she looked.

Daniel is the other cousin that I remember learning about b.b. guns with. I shot his mom's windows with it but he got the blame. Funny how Daniel doesn't even know about this. I'm closer to Christa than Daniel.

After the funeral, I don't know how I got into it but Christa, Daniel, and I got into a huge discussion on our past. There were so many subjects, from Prince, Garbage Pail Kids, The Clash, Sex Pistols, and Daniel's dirtbike crash. It's so weird to catch up with people after so many years that we would laugh at our stupid little kid antics. Yeah, it was a bit odd to find a tiny kid like me knowing who the Sex Pistols were.

So, I'm invited back up to Chicago whenever there is an event or thing that I'd like to attend, namely a comic convention.

Editor: "And what about that...uh...Britney Spears concert that you and your roommates wanted to attend that just so happened to be in Chicago?"

Leia: "I love you."

Han: "I know."

Man, if you know what movie I'm talking about, then you, too, were into Star Wars for all it had to offer. On A&E, there was a show devoted to the making of the trilogy and just seeing some of the portions of how the movie was made brought back so many memories. I'm lucky because I saw all 3 original Star Wars flicks in the theater. Lucky, lucky, lucky!

I don't know about you but I am getting that Star Wars Trilogy on DVD as soon as it comes out. It may be that I am mad at George Lucas for losing his vision along with adding unnecessary shit to the DVDs but I'm still gonna go nuts to hear the light sabers in THX certified sound thanks to my surround sound system connected to my hot shit receiver.

I'm sure that there are some girls that will be groaning thanks to a big guy that has a geek within that goes all giddy when Darth Vader makes an appearance or Boba Fett's armor gives him a hard on.

Editor: "Whoa, boy! Now THAT is too much information."

I'll discuss more later on since this entry is getting too long.........

However, I would like to give a shout out to The Cell. I may hate Jello but 2 movies that she was in I love. Out Of Sight is one and The Cell is the other thanks to amazing use of images that no one will be able to forget. How can you not remember as the evil part of Carl walked down the stairs with that long flowing robe????? Hell, look in the background to see things I sure as hell cannot come up with and this is a very unusually gifted boy here. Too bad some of the images were censored due to it being on TV.

Right now, I am reading Resident Evil: Apocalypse's book. Nice start in being right where the prequel left off. You damn well better remember everything while the music of Manson blares and the guns are drawn.

*Watch Sammy dance when Manson plays*

I'm curious. Have you noticed that I have withdrawn from people? I haven't mentioned any discussions lately like I normally do. It's obvious that I have withdrawn til I'm ready to take part in the world. My grandma's dead and more shit's gonna happen til it gets better.

Outstanding! Now all we need's a deck of cards.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07