I've always laughed at that quote from so long ago that I lost where it came from. I'm pretty sure that it was in a dirty joke of some kind but even I, an owner of a steel trap of a memory, cannot remember.

We had a pretty good scare today. My dog, Jethro, made it out of surgery but was suddenly not doing well, today. My mom and I pretty much paced all day in the house awaiting news of something better. Well, my little Yorkie has started wiggling his butt again after being given some medicine. I'm not ready to lose my little dude and his insistent need to taunt me with a chew toy.

So, I read and read diary entries that make me laugh or just plain amuse me. The ones that have gotten my attention recently have to do with penis size. I know from experience as well as from my many female college friends that girls have a preference for what they enjoy seeing on guys. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women discussing cocks and full frontal male nudity.

Now, I love being naked with whoever I am having sex with but I'm very private about my body in that aspect. Only my lover gets to see me since I tend to wear XX-Large t's to hide what I do in the gym. My thick veiny forearms tend to give it away but only to those that pay attention instead of looking at my chest. So, it's no surprise that I have had no problem with showing off my penis to J, B, B2, Gina, and so on. It was fun to find out how girls love to play with "morning wood" or just see it at attention with its throbbing as I have to run down the hall to pee.

However, no one really gives much of a shout out to vaginas, that palace that could be called a buffet and creater of life. You only hear of things that degrade such a beautiful area. My ex-roommates would tell me that it smells bad or it's degrading for a male to go down on a girl. Pish-tosh! A true male will take care of some much needed business by tasting some of the finest drink of the land. Forget Cristal! Drink from the furry cup!

Now, I know it's weird to have a preference and such but not all vaginas are the same, at least to me. I like a medium amount of pubic hair and smooth pink lips. The scent is unique on each girl but I prefer a medium amount of it since some tend to be quite reeking of it. That's not to say it smells bad but just too much makes it harder to concentrate on what I love.

I remember my first sight of a vagina. It was my dad's Playboy in which a woman held up her dress to expose this weird patch of dark hair between her legs. Now, I know I was too young to understand what all this was but I did get major effects. For one thing, I got warm all over and my dick was throbbing as I looked at page after page. Why the fuck was this happening!?!

Long time readers know that I rarely ever use the term "pussy." I hate that word since it basically means "weak." The vagina is not weak. However, I do occasionally use the terms "twat" since I'm a bit British and "pink parts."

Another reason I use the term "vagina" most often is because I like words that start with "V," especially "vixen" and "villian." Yeah, I know I'm weird and all but I'm not one to hide.

I'm not sure when in my life that I was taught to respect the vagina but I just do. It's my belief that guys that really know about the female anatomy and respect it make really good lovers. Unlike ignorant fucks that demand their girlfriends go down on them but never return the favors.

Of course, I remember my first time that I had sex because it was obviously the first time I had been inside a girl but also in being able to finger. Now, I love fingering so much! You kiss and then slip a finger or two while pressing the panties to the side is fun. I always, always lick my fingers to get a good idea of a girl's taste.

You know the thing that kind of sucks is that vaginal wetness is basically water vessels that burst thanks to a girl's brain triggering them. The taste is minimal or maybe my taste buds are dying. It would seem that the only real taste I am getting is the salty clitoris.

Okay, now if you think this is a gross entry, I'd like to add "why?" The human body was designed to have and enjoy sex. Aren't orgasms fun? So, why be ashamed of this? It took me a long time out of private school to understand this and to enjoy sex. Would you believe that Kristan had to really talk me into giving her my virginity?

As you know, I lost my virginity at 19 to Kristan whom was 29. I was basically a batboy now in the big leagues but I was taught well. I'm glad, too, since I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a car or having to rush because my parents were suddenly home. Nope, I lost it next to a fire in the fireplace and with a woman that made my sexual ideals the way they are today.

One of my fondest memories was looking at my penis and how it was sticky and shiny after being inside Kristan. Gawd, can a girl mark a guy with her scent or what!?!

Oh, in no way do I base a woman on what is between her legs! Hell, no! I may adore the vagina but I'm very much for someone that makes me think, has nice eyes, a cute little ass, and sense of adventure instead of being a complete bore. If she has books galore or movies all over the place along with something that makes her unique, I'll be that best gosh darn nice boyfriend I can be. I just haven't met one in a long time since I live in a very snobbish town and I don't put up with shit anymore.

Kristan wanted me to understand the pink parts so she spent an afternoon with me on the bed in which she opened her legs for a long period of time explaining to me what is what. Who can beat that? A woman that actually tells what she enjoys in sex is kind of rare since most women are told to shut up about anything sexual. Sad but Kristan wanted me to be a good lover to future girlfriends since our relationship was doomed. She'd later move to New Mexico but leave me with memories.

Now, as I said, I love fingering! It's funny to find out how turned on a girl is and to see how many fingers you can get inside. The most I've ever had was 3, my first 3 fingers on my right hand. J's vagina was pretty tight so I had to start with 1 but only make it up to 2, barely. That was the first time I had ever encountered that since I've normally started with using 2.

When Kristan first let me finger her, I thought nothing of tasting them. It was later on when she sat on the couch completely spread open that I ventured into a territory that just seemed to come to me. I tasted my fingers and Kristan smiled. It was an interesting smile because.........

Well, Kristan has this belief that our orgasms are to be shared whether it be orally or just whatever. That's why she never spilled a drop of mine and would watch it slowly drip down my penis. Is that sexy or what? A girl that absolutely has to have a guy's cum is a definite keeper. It really is a nectar that just cannot be copied but enjoyed.

Yeah, doing the 69er was weird since the 2 of us were always trying to drink from the other. This position is kind of overrated since I'm more of a giver than a receiver and I hate to be interupted when I'm going down on a girl.

Think all vaginas are the same? When I saw the porn star, Ginger Lynn Allen's, from an old 1980's porno, I was in love. The pink lips were so smooth and glistened well that I was jealous of the guy eating her out. That little patch of hair was in perfect form that I wanted to run my nose through it and inhale that scent. Time has not been kind to Ginger and in a picture recently taken, her vagina's lips look pretty withered, kind of like Mick Jagger at 120 years of age.

There is a woman by the name of Briana Banks, a porn star. Not only is she beautiful but her vagina is so unbelieveably perfect as well. The vulva looks deep but not too thick. Her labia is so lucsious and smooth. Oops, I guess technical terms are a turn off but this is my diary. I've never seen a porno with Brianna but the pictures have come to my attention.

If you'd like to see pictures of porn stars that are quite candid, there is a hardcover book that just came out by Timothy Greenfield. I can't remember the title but it could just be "Porn Stars Close-Up." In it, there is the beautiful Brianna Banks on full display so you an see what an amazing vagina she has. Of course, Jenna Jameson and many other famous girls are in there. For those girls that love to see penises, the male porn stars are in there as well so don't be surprised to see Ron Jeremy and his flaccid 10.25 incher.

I'm always curious as to what how women like their penises. Is it length, girth, veiny, skinny, or just plain hardness that gets to you? Every girl has a preference and should not hide it.

For me, I like the vagina to be smooth on the lips, medium bush but very minimal hair around the pink parts (pulling hair out of your mouth sucks), a medium amount of scent, the vulva not to be too large, and to wet easily. J's was the first girlfriend I ever had that took more time to get slick than anyone else. Her scent made up for it majorly.

I'd also like to add that I am shocked so many girls do not stand up for themselves when it comes to oral sex. Many complain about wanting to have their boyfriends go down on them but they continue to suck dick. Gawd, get rid of such lazy ignorant fucks and move on to guys that really know how to treat a woman in bed. Girls that weak are just a pathetic lot.

If you are in high school reading this, you are probably thinking I am crazy for typing all of this. Well, I'd just assume you are too young to understand sexuality and its beauty all while saying 10 Hail Marys after using the vibrator stolen from your sister's room. Maybe you just smell really funny down there.

Well, I'll get more into vaginas since I haven't even talked about my other ex-girlfriends and why my left arm is now in pain once again but it's late (for me, at least) and I'm in dire need of some actual rest after my worries on Jethro. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07