All I can say after spending the day indoors is that it's going to take me a long, long time til I am fully myself again. There is very little desire in me to go back out there until my depression is over. I'm all happy looking on the outside but a big fucking mess on the inside due to too many events this year. I miss being happy. Really.

There are minor things I do look forward to. One is that Star Wars comes out on DVD for the first time, as I said a few entries back. It's just something that I grew up with and would like to see in amazing digital glory, even if George Lucas did kind of ruin them with added effects. I'm a geek inside and will forever admire Boba Fett, lust for Leia, carry the attitude of Han Solo, and dream of owning the last name of "Skywalker." Isn't that one of the coolest names ever?

Han: "Scoundrel? I like the sound of that better."

Of course, many girls are going to be in line for Mean Girls. There will be those that are not afraid to show their love for this flick but there will be those not wearing belly shirts that don't want their love to be known. Most likely, a DVD of Billy Madison will be carried on top to the checkout counter. I'll be getting Mean Girls as well since I've heard how well done it is.

Taking care of 4 dogs (Jethro comes home Monday!!!) can really wear a guy out, yo. In and out was what I had to do since Ellie Mae, Bonnie, and Clyde will poop when they want to. Buffy's in a playpen since she likes to start fights with others thanks to her need to get more attention. "Hoss" (Ellie Mae) doesn't play that shit. Luckily, there were no fights today.

My parents didn't get back til after 9pm after all that dealing with a lawyer over my grandma's belongings. It sucks to deal with money and to find out what a person has, especially relatives. My mom informed me that I am involved and that I will receive a portion from the house in the future if it is decided on selling. Grandma's house may be rented instead.

So, I would also like to thank those on the kind words for my vagina entries. I'm glad that people got what I was saying instead of thinking I am a male pig on focusing on that area. All I was trying to say is that vaginas should be thought of as something that should be respected. A good example is birth control and various sexual needs in how companies are okay on men receiving Viagra but women are pretty much forgotten about. I'm not sure how much my ex-girlfriends were spending on The Pill but I know they'd rather have it at a smaller price.

One of the things I found odd after going down on J was how shocked she was in the time I spent going down on her. Let me tell ya, I was eating her out for a good long time no matter how tired my lips were getting since I like to pretty much lick everything. In no way did I ever just focus on the very aroused "pink parts" but also the inner thigh and that patch of hair that I run my nose through (the hair absorbs some of the scent).

The reason J was shocked was because her ex-boyfriend went down on her but never quite to the extent I did. He'd just try to hurry her up and get it over with so it was his turn. Not me. I was lickin' and completely in love with everything down there. You should have seen what J did to my bed thanks to achieving orgasm. I loved it since she left "wet spots" on my sheets as a result.

What I like to do is just have the girl lay back and be completely comfortable, no distractions such as TV. Music is good, especially Sade or instrumental. I'm sure there are heavy metalheads that would play Ozzy while fucking but not me. I'm a lovemaker when going down on my girlfriends.

Another thing I tend to do is place a pillow underneath her spine so she's completely at ease and I can focus without her needing to adjust herself. An added reason is if she doesn't wet quite as fast so she needs time. An exception is Kristan. She was wet 24 hours a day and even I had a hard time catching up with her need for sex at all times of the day.

So, 30% of women have never achieved orgasm. Sad. To me, it's like the Pagan belief that orgasms are a blessing to the god of desire and she is in need for us all to satisfy her by cumming. In no way should we be ashamed as a tingle travels between our legs. The more we cum, the better this woman feels so off with the panties!

What might surprise you is that I am a germphobic freak. I wash my hands a lot, even after I play with my dogs. This is probably a good reason why I am rarely sick. So, my boys think it's gross to go down on women since it's "unclean" or "dirty" between a woman's legs. Funny. I've never gotten sick after going down on my girlfriends and I'm sure my boys would have a fit if they knew I went down on Kristan while she was still wearing panties since it was a night of complete lust that got out of hand.

What really angers me is a belief that I have. 30% of women have not orgasm'd is the fault of both sexes. I've found that women that masturbate are much better at acheiving them over those that think men should do all the work. No-no. Uh-uh. Sex is for both and men cannot read minds.

Editor: "If men could read minds, they'd know that during sex, girls do wonder if they turned the stove off."

I blame the shame in our world of sex. While guys can easily figure out the mechanics of owning penises, there are girls that have very little in clues as to how to work their twats. Some don't even know where their clitorises are. Many don't even know what to do with a penis.

Life's little rules:

-Rule 1: All girls should be given vibrators at the age of 18.

I'm not sure why but there are girls that don't even tell guys what they like or whether he is doing well in going down on her. Don't just lay there like a dead fish! Tell that guy where to go with fingers and tongue.

The other issue is that there are guys that don't have a clue as to how to please women. None. They have no idea where or what a clitoris is or that you don't just lick right away but also tease this sensitive area. Putting fingers inside without making sure she's wet is a no-no but some guys just don't get it.

*If you are a male virgin, do not just jam your fingers into a girl's vagina. Rub the outer lips gently until you feel wetness. Insert 1 finger and add others later when she gives you a signal of some kind. When inserted, use the fingers in a circular motion and add a "come here" as well. You'll know by how she reacts. If she practically gives you her pelvis, you're doing it right.*

Okay, I'm raunchy or whatever but I love "wet spots." To me, these wet stains in my girlfriends' panties are complete ego riding. Just like she wants to see me hard, I wanna know that she's turned on, too, so the bigger the better.

Unfortunately, life is not perfect. I have taken down some panties and found it all. I've seen poo stains, old period stains (never current or I'd faint), and pee stains. That last one is okay since it's pretty minimal but those first 2 can gross me out. Hey, girls poop, too! However, I just prefer not to know about it and would rather be pulling down clean panties.

The reason for inspecting is as I said, I am a germphobic person and would prefer to know what I am licking. The "wet spots" are ego but I want to make sure she's pretty clean so I'm not waking up with white bumps on my tongue.

Piercings are interesting but not really necessary. I've never had a girlfriend with a pierced labia but a friend of mine does. Andrea let me see hers and I found it fun to flick it as she stood there. I know it's weird for a girl to just drop her drawers to show such an intimate area but Andrea and I share a similar love of sex. Funny how she tried to seduce me by throwing her thong at me. Long story that turned into an argument over who would make a better president.

Another piercing was when a stripper at Mark's bachelor party sat on my face. I was pulled onstage by this amazing looking woman and ended up half naked. Happy, happy! Joy, joy! This stripper, completely nude, took her hands and played with my penis hidden in my shorts while I just lay there staring at her GORGEOUS vagina and its piercing. You don't know how hard it was to keep my tongue in my mouth all while trying to inhale her scent (not possible since strippers use a lotion to mask any form of it thanks to the heat in the strip joint)!

Yoda: "He used The Force."

I'm serious in that I love to eat out girls and I just had the damndest time because this stripper was so cute and quite nice. The funny thing is that she sat on my lap after her stage work was done and told me I have a nice body while feeling my chest. See? Working out does have its priviledges.

If you are a male virgin (and I know Diaryland has quite a few), going down on girls has its rewards. You will have a girlfriend that will want sex quite often since she benefits as well so be ready for a lot of adventures. You'll also find that you will be on the receiving end of some major orgasms.

When I slept with Kristan at her house, she used to wake me up by doing the 69er on me as I slept each morning. She made sure her lady bits were right at my nose so those little hairs and that scent woke me up if her mouth on my "morning wood" did not. What can I say? Breakfast in bed! I'd enjoy Kristan's juices as she drank mine. The only problem is when I sleep on my stomach, which I tend to do 90% of the time.

Science has shown that vagina juices have mineral and vitamins, all but very minimal. So, the next time a guy says he is not going down on you because the vagina is unclean, tell him to go fuck himself for being such an ignorant prick. Your "pink parts" deserve someone better.

Guys may even get to do things that religious fucks deem disgusting after pleasing women. I'm not sure why but I love it when a girl wants me to cum on her breasts. J liked to watch my orgasm shoot out of my penis along with my facial expressions as I orgasmed. Fun times as this girl jerked me off, huh? Very. Too bad J wasn't into swallowing since I'd always have her wetness all over my mouth but I was forced to get kleenex for the "mess" I made.

I know, I know. I didn't get into other things such as my other ex-girlfriends but I thought this would be enough. If anyone has comments, feel free to let it out. Complaints? Was I gross? Am I just plain gifted with my tongue? How can I be single and what is my phone number? Am I wrong to say all these things? Is there something you wonder about how guys think on oral sex?

It's funny how I do miss sex but I'm picky and a suffering from a nasty bout of depression, folks. I know my wife's gonna love how strong my tongue is (I can change voices, too) from much vocal practice. I truly love to go down on girls because I am a giver more than a receiver in that I was taught to respect a woman's vagina. There's just something about seeing my lover completely lost in orgasmic bliss as I "drink" from her. Then again, it could be how if it was my day to shop for groceries but my girlfriend's at work that I don't mind being seen rolling down the aisles with boxes of Stayfrees or Tampax. A boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do. Goodnight and viva vagina!

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07