My week's dilemma:

-How the fuck am I going to see that addictive show, America's Next Top Model, and Hawaii at the same time. I'm not one for much TV but I love a Hawaii destination with Michael Biehn (I swear I am not gay but I'd get in a speedo for him anytime to let him chase me with a Glock) and just how do you turn your head away from vain women thinking they can be models but afraid to get naked? Dilemmas, dilemmas. Wish I had a TIVO, huh? Wednesday, I am fucked.

Gawd, I am just trying my best to heal my left arm after all the damage it has taken from weightlifting with some serious pounds. It's still not completely healed and I'm just itchin' to use my biceps in keeping them as toned as they are. All I can do are legs, chest, abs, triceps, and shoulders. The motion of flexing my left bicep hurts too much.

I know that it's a weird issue but I'm a workout freak tried and true to the point that nothing keeps me from getting my little ass in the gym. Not even a broken right foot from baseball practice back in college could do it. We all learned that a car with no muffler, namely mine, did this summer.

So, E and I sat on leg extendors and chatted. I'm still in confusion as to how a girl dates a guy that lives in another country that is her. Apparently, this boyfriend is coming here the first week of October. To help cheer my little E up, I did my "Let's mate when we meet dance" that had me immitating E and her boyfriend's get together. She thinks I'm weird but I like that.

I don't know about you but if I had not seen my girlfriend in over a week, I'd give her a long passionate kiss and hope that she squeezes my ass.

I read that some areas that have Best Buy stores will have them open at midnight to sell this Star Wars Trilogy. Lucky. Ours sure as hell isn't doing that. I'm not sure if it's the likelihood that many nerds are fearful of venturing out of their parents' basements or what but I'd be there. It's just odd shopping at midnight, isn't it?

We used to wonder the aisles of the most evil store in the land, Wal-Mart, at late hours. There, you could play with big stuffed animals, put CDs out of order, try on 5 layers of clothes, and pee in the magazine racks. Of course, we didn't pee there since they do have cameras all over the fucking place due to a need for greed. Wal-Mart is so evil that I'm surprised no one else sees it.

My mom is showing me what retirement is all about. She has upped her farting streak a bit with not 1, not 2, but three times of flatulence to make me sick to my stomach while in the kitchen. The funny thing is that my dog, Ellie-Mae will leave the room while I sit there with much my head face down on the table. I can take 1 mamma fart but no more.

I'm not sure why my mother has been farting so much once retirement took place. It could be what her little 3rd Graders taught her or just her actual diet. I know little kids would love to eat dinner with us but I am not singing the "beans song."

My little dog, Jethro, comes home tomorrow. We're not sure if he needs to be alone in the kitchen since the surgery or what. Jethro is one of the nicest little Yorkshire Terriers around but this whole incident had him pretty woozy on Friday. With my mother farting in the kitchen, I'm not sure if it's safe for him there.

Gawd, I don't know what else to say since I've pretty much closed myself off from the world. There isn't much in me that wants to actually talk to people but inside, I am screaming for company. I guess that only best friends understand situations like this rather than people that barely know you.

My day is spent all over the house, errands, push-ups, sit-ups, and reading to pass the time. Whatever it takes to get through your day, huh?

I'll admit that I miss my PenDragon but I'm guessing that from no emails being sent from her, we are done. Too bad that 3 years of being friends can be destroyed by such a little issue but I don't take shit anymore from anyone. At some point, you get tired of being controlled but why does it still hurt?

Yeah, I did fall for my PenDragon at one time. I even was about to tell her some deeply personal things in a long email. It's funny that even if I am kind of mad at her, I still wish the best for her. The PenDragon is a really great girl, a stubbornly beautiful girl.

So, Britney Spears got married today? Well, call me a little odd but she paid for her ring. I'm guessing Britney married herself, all trashy and looking like a meth addict. You have to do something to keep yourself in the spotlight so she's into guys that look like groomed homeless people.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07