-Lita Ford's "Kiss Me Deadly"

Yeah, I guess you can learn from my last entry that I have some kind of weird obsession with pumpkins or something. It could be that Fall is my time of year or just that I enjoy the colors, especially orange. Maybe, it's the sight of scarecrows in people's gardens that bring up old fears from horror movies. Whatever it is, I just love the coolness in the air mixed with a much happier me.

So, Bald-O's mom brings out pumpkins that grew in their garden. Nice little round orange bastards to give lobotomies to. I'm just not one to dip my hands in to scoop out seeds but I don't mind watching the mess being made.

What Bald-O's mom did was to carve out little pictures within these 3 pumpkins thanks to designs found in a book from the local Wal-Mart. *Hate that store!* Anyway, she made a witch by placing these plastic figurine hands along with a head complete with feet for the bottom instead of just carving out this one lone pumpkin. It was when Bald-O's mom brought out all these little things to add that my mouth once again brings a little shock.

You see, Bald-O's mom added some little things to make this witch more "witchy." We looked for a long twig to place in the hand but when she brought out a patch of dry grass, I said: "So, is that the witch's bush?"

Not surprisingly, Bald-O starts laughing pretty hard while his mother is giving me a frowny face with the mouthed words: "parvert" to more added giggles by yours truly. I've never really given a thought to whether witches ride their broomsticks completely bare down there since it does get a bit breezy. I'm sure small children would be frightened to look up.

Hey, I like bushes on my girls!!!!

From the quote, I can tell you that I did hit a party on Saturday night. Wasn't as much fun do to me not being able to drink (only 3 beers since I had to drive back to another town late that night by following Bald-O) much along with the air getting really chilly and me being in only a t-shirt. Things didn't seem as right, unlike that party I hit near my birthday. Now, that was fun!

I just hate it when all of these people bring out their cell-phones during conversations to look at them. It's like these damn gadgets have control over them! Fucking hell! You would think we were in California or something but it's all the time where people check for messages every 5 minutes. People have lost their knowledge of how rudeness is getting out of hand.

The nice thing was when the DJ came to this party. It was the same one that I had fun at. Just the way this guy dresses shows where you are, leather top hat and sleeveless flannel shirt with jeans. Yup, it looks like Guns N Roses's Slash got a new job.

So, due to boredom at this party, I sat with the DJ here and there. Shouting was our means of conversation since I wanted Lita Ford's "Kiss Me Deadly" to be played. Just witness me sitting back with my feet up in the air smoking a cigar as major guitar comes in.

While sitting back there with a DJ that makes house calls, there was a little girl that looked to be 9 years old. Cute. She was the daughter of the owner of this house that the party was taking place at. It was mostly the women of the party that danced to the usual southern music that has some twangy guitar and all. The DJ would not allow the song that was such a hit at the party last time due to this cute little 9 year old being up past her bedtime. Remember?

"My neck, my back.
Lick my pussy
and then my crack."

Well, I was quite impressed to see the dad of this little girl pick her up and slow dance with her. You should have seen how happy she was along with being taught dance moves by the other women in attendence. Is it any wonder why I love a party more like this than some stupid college one where everyone drinks till they puke?

I know I may have had little enjoyment with this party but I was feeling really shitty thanks to allergies. Apparently, I need to breathe more easily but the damn buggers won't allow me. I'll snort like a porpoise or wheez like a rhino just to clear myself up temporarily. Sucks but Bald-O was far worse in that he sneezed pretty much all Sunday night.

"What the fuck is that?"

I swear those were my words when I walked into Bald-O's parents' house since I had to wait for him there to clear up the gym after reffing the middle school's basketball game. I expected 1 dog but instead I got 2, one looking like a rat with a major hair loss issue. It kind of scared me since I forgot about Bald-O's parents getting this new dog.

All problems are over since this little rat-like creature slept on my chest while I lay back on the couch. Dogs love me since I probably bring some kind of scent that gives the vibes of:

-He's easy to get treats off of.

-Will get on the floor to romp around the room like he has a strong mental problem while making "doggy noises."

-Overlooks the fact that we may have accidently pee'd on him........just a little.

The good news to report is that my little Jethro is back! It seems the little shit got back his mojo in that he would bark at the female vet to bring him out so he could sit in her lap. Don't get me started on Jethro being hand fed since he is obviously using his major cuteness to get more attention than even he deserves. The vet was cute so maybe I'd do it, too.

Oh, Jethro is slowly packing pounds! 1 pound was gained on his skeletal frame and his appetite is now enormous. Jethro ate a whole can of dog food today so we are expecting enormous poo with those pounds. Go, Jethro, go, but not in the house!

Oh, the women in my life are just getting to poor ol' me. I've been getting closer and closer to that 16 year old, Brianne, as usual. Yeah, I'm scratching my head over the age issue as well but I'm not one to discriminate. This gorgeous girl has an obvious crush on me but why couldn't this have happened when I was 16? I'd most likely not know what to do with myself, huh?

I'm not sure how the conversation got to piercings with Brianne but it did. Her jaw dropped when I told her about Andrea's labia piercing that was shown to me and I flicked. Well, Brianne won't do that but she'll pierce elsewhere. I don't want to know where.

Let's not forget little Sarah, the girl I have a major crush on. A friend of mine, Kevin, came up to me in the gym to say: "Gawd, she is SKINNY." What can I say? Obviously, I am not into Sarah because of the body. It's the big brown eyes I keep staring into when she talks to me. I'm pathetic to men everywhere since I am not obsessing over ass or boobs. Those eyes are gorgeous!

I'm a bit lost as to what to do with Sarah. I only see her once a week due to her classes/work. Sarah come into my gym at odd hours but the same as mine only on Mondays. It's that day that I know I'm going to be running around with a major pounding in my already dismantled heart.

Editor: "Your ex-girlfriend, J, was a complete heartless cunt."

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07