-Conan O' Brien

Well, I'm pretty sure this is my last entry til I get back from my college get-together that will hopefully clarify which ones in The Scooby Gang actually matured. I'm guessing no one since our whole weekend will end up in bars and trying desperately to understand the new lingo with those crazy college kids out there, nowadays. I'm not joking that it is really weird to walk into a bar you used to haunt but find yourself not knowing anyone. Trust me. I knew EVERYONE!

So, with all that in mind and kisses and hugs to all of ya', I bring forth Random Night! *Cue eerie music of some kind that involves the sounds of hyenas mating! Bring out the horns and a bass section!*

1. I'm sorry for acting like such a sap, yesterday. Sarah just got to me but that is clearly over with when I did some thinking today. Fuck Sarah! If someone does not bother to be friendly or try to make an effort to know others, they are obviously just ignorant cunts that should be ignored.

I know I am probably going to go ga-ga again in the future when Sarah or some other girl shows up but I promise to try not to here on Diaryland. Scout's honor! Okay, I didn't make it all the way to scout but I did get a couple badges in my Boy Scout adventure kit that found me being hung upside down by my dad to get......oh, never mind. Really.

2. Remember that football player I talked about last time? Well, his name is Joe and I've got something to say about that. Don't ever think that gigantic 300 pound lineman are assholes because most of them that I've met are fucking hilarious! No joke. It looks like Joe is going to be a new buddy in my gym since he has some major personality as we talk about our old football playing days.

The funny thing is that Joe comes from Texas. Yup, football is pretty much THE thing on Friday nights as depicted in that new movie, Friday Night Lights. Oh, how I want to see that soooooooo bad but let's face it. I will be face down on some old kind of carpet gurgling to an old John Denver song that sounds like he is being strangled.

It's always great to find a friend that has as many facial expressions as I do. Working out in a gym becomes so much more fun when you get nodded at while walking into the place. I'm high up on the food chain as seen when people I don't even know come up to give me props or wanting to know who I am. It's nice and I appreciate all of this ego stroking but I also try to make an effort in helping other people have fun in the gym. Gawd, I sound like that moron, Dr. Phil, or something.

3. That 16 year old and I are now hugging. I'm not sure how it came out but Brianne was doing sit-ups while I tagged a bench to use. That big smile she had just drew me up to her and I hugged her. Had to be done, folks. Brianne is da bomb! Told ya I can get with some lingo.

I know it's kind of weird for me to be so friendly with Brianne, considering the age, but I don't care. She's so much more friendly and outgoing than people twice her age that are trying to get rid of their wrinkly massive butts. Plus, Brianne is amazing to see.

Here I was with Brianne at a point that found us comparing stomachs. Weird? Very. I pinched hers to find nothing. Not one drop of fat. Brianne saw my 4 abs that stick out along with some very toned hip flexors (located where the legs connect to the pelvis) that took me years to develop. Don't ya just love it when I get all technical? It's fo' shizzle!

Editor: "Oh, another one! You my boy, Hedgehoggy!"

What's funny about Brianne is that she's like me in that she becomes obsessed with a bodypart and completely abuses it in the gym. It all started with legs and now it's her abs. For me, I'm just a master of shoulders.

Some nights, it's hard to say goodbye to Brianne. As witnessed tonight, it's so easy to talk to her and not worry about a stupid argument coming up since the 2 of us are pretty damn wack-o about topics. I've never met a person like Brianne since she reminds me of how I was when I met Kristan, suddenly open to everything. No one is completely open to life quite like me, however. So, I hugged her goodbye. Just how many 16 year olds have a big belt buckle that reads "SEXY" on it?

4. If you'd like to see a hilarious take on politics in this year's elections, go to jibjab.com. 2 guys have done a great song with John Kerry and George Bush that sure as hell will bring out some kind of response.

5. Less than a month away for the election and I'm pretty scared. Really scared. It's my opinion that our world is going to shit with how it's being treated and how morons are slowly overriding everything. It's like I'm strapped to a wheelchair and the Jeezus freaks are trying to push me down the stairs into a male harem led by Martha Stewart, aka "prisoner #31295." There is no way I can get it up for her pimpess. My dick doesn't like the color of Martha's duvet but it can make a lovely candy cane holder.

6. Anyone else do this? I was wearing my new Ralph Lauren plain white t-shirt in bed and eating a Quarter Pounder With Cheese and soon got upset when juice fell onto this shirt. New $5 shirt does not need obvious stain from fattening burger that Mamma brought home after I had to take care of the dogs since she went up north at my late grandma's house. All I am saying is that I hate it when I get sloppy.

7. While Mom was away, I got my dog to pose for pictures that I will send to her in the mail. We're not talking centerfold material here but Buffy sure knows how to pose. I've got some of her playing with a squeaky toy as well as coming towards me in the hall. Maybe the TV show, America's Next Top Model, would be interested in my grandma's dog.

*Buffy is living with us because my grandma got alzheimer's early this year. She's been here since March while my grandma started living in an assisted living facility. Oh, Buffy is adorable and you'll find everyone wanting to get a little lickin' from her. Why is the runt of a litter the one with the most personality when placed away from the others?*

Well, I am off to bed to dream well. I'm in a good mood and can't wait to come back and read everyone again. It's fun to keep up on Diaryland but it's a bitch when going away to find EVERYONE updated while I was away. I'll catch up on emails tomorrow. So, again, big hugs to all! Many pictures and drinks to be shared this weekend. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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