-Me

Yes, I am back from my annual get together of old college chums that has me a bit more aware of how many people never change as the years go by. When it's for the worst, I find myself biting my tongue......a lot.

Before, I get into all this, I would like to add that I am quite sick with a cold that started on Saturday night. Breathing in the bar while intoxicated has got to be an all new feeling of low but you know how girls just have to go to a place that sells overpriced drinks and a dance floor full of sweaty people that think they can dance but actually look like monkeys that are extremely constipated.

I'm not sure what to say about my friends from college that had me wondering or amazed with myself in how far I've come when it comes to actually thinking. There is only so much sitting there talking to people that discuss the most trivial or superficial issues that I can take. Just how many times do I have to go over the same stupid events that happened in my life that I would clearly like to move on from!?!

This is going to sound mean but I've got to let it out since I felt like I was put up on display several times while at this get together. My college friends are not very bright when it comes to issues outside of their own lives. They have no clue as to books for reading that are involved outside of school. No one knows anything about the arts or artists in the world. Nascar is THE thing to drool over but just what is interesting about a car that goes around a track 500 times? Was there any discussion about what is going on in Iraq? Nope. "So, Mike tell us about how J wanted you to cum on her tits" was a big highlight.

Yeah, I felt like I was put up on display after dinner. *Amanda makes a fine lasagna!* I didn't worry about this since I'm kind of used to it along with many of the after effects. You see, I am considered the group's clown where you will hear me say outrageous things (anything outside of these people's thought patterns is outrageous so....) that tend to be remembered for the wrong reasons.

Example: While I was sitting there in the dorm watching a movie with the guys, I just happened to blurt out that I love to go down on girls because oral sex is a way I like to express some of my feelings besides kissing and so on.

Apparently, oral sex on women is wrong because it is "dirty," "disgusting," and "de-masculinizes us guys." This whole episode of me once again shooting my mouth off in admitting something that the guys disagree with gets me laughed at. Even some of the girls next door got on me about it.

I'm not sure why this whole episode is so disgusting because the guys in the group laughed or talked about doing girls doggy-style or degrading a woman in not caring about her sexual needs BUT the girls didn't get on them about it. Nope. Instead, they giggled and laughed. It's just when I say things that I am on display to be shot down.

You will walk into an apartment inhabited by my college friends to find nothing of uniqueness. Sure, pictures of sorority functions, their paddles, and little flowers are here and there but where are the fucking books or things that show actual thought outside of school!?! Walt Disney does not count, especially if you are over the age of 16.

*Don't go hating me over Walt Disney or Pixar because I like their movies, too. It's just that they are too one-dimensional for a purpose but highly entertaining and cute. I love Monsters, Inc. and Beauty And the Beast.*

Okay, I was amused at how I tried to introduce my friends to pastries from a really nice place here in my hometown. They are a bit expensive but worth tasting so I thought it would be nice to bring something for everyone to try. Nope, my college friends are highly scared of the unknown and it irks me to see myself comparing them to the need for a pastry. Their big idea? Let's go to McDonalds!!!!!

It saddens me to see my college friends putting on a very noticeable amount of weight. We all put on a few pounds over 10 years and so right? Try seeing double chins and massive stomachs, folks. Guess all that McDonalds is really working for them?

I know this all sounds mean but I do have a right to be mad. These college friends of mine tend to put me on display to talk about the outrageous things I say all because they are too afraid to even discuss along with my feelings that they have not grown within. Can you imagine what would happen if I asked them what they thought of Michael Moore's Fahrentheit 9/11? The confused looks on my college friends' faces would be priceless.

Bald-O and I are cool for the rest of our lives because we balance each other out. My issues lie with the rest, Amanda, Cory, Berta, and so on. It's funny to me how Amanda keeps telling me to visit her down there but I'm not comfortable in dealing with a girl that sits there and insists I tell her about my life but she shares with me nothing about hers. I had to talk about J and how my grandma died, etc. Did Amanda show any sign of caring or even sharing about herself? Nope.

I've never given a thought on popularity, folks. High school for me was hanging out with everyone, jocks, dweebs, geeks, band members, stoners, and so on. I mostly hung with the high school band members because those guys knew how to party and had a love of something that made each person unique. Right now, I resort to a few friends that keep me sane instead of wishing to be around people that have no idea who Andy Warhol is.

I miss my PenDragon because I thought I'd finally found someone else that is quite open-minded but she doesn't wish to speak to me after a minor issue that we fought about. That decision is respected since I have become much more independent. It doesn't mean I don't think about her but the thought that the PenDragon didn't bother to wish me a happy birthday does a few twists in my stomach. It hurts when someone that matters so much to me just forgets all the good times but focuses more on the bad because I sure as hell would wish her one even after an argument. Yeah, I fell for PenDragon but in a unique way that I'll never forget and Sammy got to see this develop since she was with me on Diaryland at the time.

I want to make it perfectly clear that I would do anything for my college friends. There may be some anger in this entry as to what I saw and how I was treated but I still love 'em. Some of the faults I see are not completely theirs since I had a unique growing up that had me wondering about everything in life. I've been reading the newspaper since I was 8 or 9. I read Jaws around this age as well and have a real curiousity for life with a taste of art that brings question. The open-minded part is my issues with the world's need to keep people from seeing things:

-Is the nude body as repulsive as people deem it to be?

-Why does this word cause more uproar than this one?

-If sex is considered so sacred, why do we hide it but allow the sight of people being blown up as suitable for all ages?

-Why are people so ignorant to the fact that our world is hell thanks to the lies of politicians? Doesn't anyone think for themselves when it comes to actual voting?

Oh, I could go on but I really need to get some actual sleep. My whole pattern has been thrown off thanks to sleeping on an apartment floor for 2 nights. The couch was too small and Bald-O called the longer one before me. No big deal since the apartment's carpeting was pretty soft. It helped absorb my sneezes n' shit thanks to this cold.

Tidbits:

By the way, am I not allowed in your diary anymore, Kristine? I have no password.

My cell phone is so fucking amazing! In my need to restrain myself from my college friends' desire to debate the usual pathetic issues, I played video games on it and checked my email. It's weird visiting Diaryland on such a small screen, too.

*SNEEZES*

I really need to go to bed. Goodnight to all that are amazing thinking machines.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07