-Ramones

Let's see, I have been awake since 4:45am to find that my body can withstand more sleeplessness that I thought. In college, I once went almost 3 straight days with no sleep thanks to Finals or when I got that acute throat infection. Ever hallucinated? Try going without sleep for more than your body can take and you, too, will think you are one of the Ozzy's kids.

Know what pisses me off? I was watching an interview with Curt Schilling of the Boston Red Sox and the interview asked him why he pitched so well. His answer was that gawd (I misspell for a reason) was on his side! Am I the only one that finds this fucking rude to tell everyone that the reason you pitched so well is that a Christian's so called creator likes him more? Or likes his rap album even if he calls women nothing but bitches n' hos? Personally, I don't think gawd gives a fuck.

I've always found religious pricks as arrogant fucks that think the world should be their way so they hide behind the bible's bullshit propoganda picking little bits and pieces as evidence. You know the type. They stand on the corner with their signs that say "God Hates Fags." Makes me wish someone knocks them out with a strap-on. You really don't need to go much further than Bush and how arrogant he has become once he started pushing his holier than thou attitude on us.

Jesse Ventura: "Religion is for the weak and feeble minded."

While I may agree with Jesse on part of that, I'll surprise you in saying that I am religious in one way. I believe in Wicca ever since my PenDragon introduced me to it. The religion is hard to explain but just know that all walks of life are embraced to enjoy, not to feel shame. So, make love all you want in whatever orrifice turns you on. We'll smile on you even if we don't practice the exact same sexual needs.

Just how do you talk to a naked Mexican? I was sitting there putting my shoes on and this guy walks out of the shower to have a conversation with me. Like every other guy out there, I do my best to look away as his cock was very close to me. My first instinct was to giggle since I know for a fact that I am more hung than that (Just ask J) but there is the other part of me that tries not to be a hypocrite and relax. Nudity is natural but my ego is screaming that my schlong is so much better looking.

*I didn't give it the name Notorious B.I.G. for nothing since he hangs with 2-Pack. Get it? Don't groan until you've seen it.*

Am I sounding weird today? Oh, that's right! I was up late cheering on the Red Sox and they are killing my sleep thanks to last night's game ending quite late. It's strange to be so into a sports team but it gives me opportunity to misplace my focus with something fun.

So, the nursing home? I've got to say that I have never seen a schedule as full of activities as the one I saw. Old people like to really cut loose as well as cutting a few since that became apparent with my sensitive nose. My old timers play dartball, shuffleboard, bingo, workouts, lunch (it's actually a workout to get some to eat), and more geritol than beers downed at a frat house. I want to stay at the nursing home because I feel at home.

In all seriousness, I really liked some of the people I met. None of those stuffy old geezers with no personality running the place. No attitude that makes you nervous since you feel extremely aware of what to say. The nursing home I was in felt like that TV show, Scrubs, once I saw a female nurst playfully kick anther female nurse in the booty.

Editor: "I'm sure you had some wonderful ideas to do with the rubber gloves, Hedgie?"

Oh, I was at the nursing home for a mentoring program in which I see how management/accounting/personnel run a business. It was quite eye-opening since it was the first time I had ever seen people use actual accounting programs. Can you believe that? I was an accounting major but have never experienced this.

Yes, I saw Brianne again in the gym. Yes, the black guy with braids keeps trying to get her attention. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing really changes with the 2 of us since Brianne pretty much says that all boys are bad. As much as I admire her ability to feel the need to branch out past high school, her mind is completely in it and needs to realize that some boys are pretty nice. In fact, I think I am nifty!

Editor: "Nice smelling skin, wacky spiked hair, does not fart in front of girls, eats vegetables on occasion, and promises to do nude cartwheels. Yup, nifty indeed."

That reminds me of something. It was brought to my attention recently that a question came up. When is it okay to fart in front of your girlfriend? I'm dying to get a few responses from females on this because I just couldn't answer since I do not do it. Neither Kristan nor J or M ever heard a peep out of my butt. A few girls have done it in front of me. Oh, those farts in front of my mother don't count since she is constantly trying to provoke me. You really need to meet my mother.

So, if you've got the time to answer this major issue on passing gas in front of females, just let me know. I'll pass on the word to my male co-workers on what some women have to say.

Speaking of rather gross subjects, my detective skills paid off this morning. The serial pooper is Tony, my co-worker from my last tour in this job. Go me. I feel not as good as Sherlock but a bit better than Inspector Gadget. The shoes underneath the stall doors gave him away as I achieved the highly fascinating art of urination. Yes, urine good health.

Okay, bad joke. How about a better one? What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

*Answer at bottom*

So, I bid adieu to all as I venture back upstairs to watch and hope that the Red Sox defeat those damn Yankees. I'm a rockin' weirdo that was caught like a deer in headlights when I saw the words-"You are so stupid" in my notes. I got it and I laughed but those first few words had me stunned since I haven't had an argument on Diaryland in a while. You haven't lived til you've been dissed here, folks. A little under 10 people wanted a piece of Da Hedgehoggy. Cookie loves me so why can't you? Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07