Okay, how many celebrities have you met? Anyone? I'm curious so I'd love to hear from anyone that met anyone that's actually famous so that does not include morons......(ahem)....people from MTV's Real World. How do you react around them? Do you cry or feel that you just might make a potty in your pants thanks to your defects from worshipping him/her when you should have gone before?

Well, I had a weird moment where I pulled into the local bookstore's parking lot. To my left, I just happened to look and see Mick Foley getting out of his car. I'm not kidding when I say this since I am not starstruck:

"Hey, Foley!!!"

I laughed to myself but waited as this 280 pound guy made his way towards me. Mick looked exactly as you see him on TV, wrestler and all. Oh, in case you don't know, he's a wrestler from the WWE that goes by this name or as "Mankind" from his past referral. Remember the guy that talked to a sock puppet on his hand? That's Mick Foley and you could see all those falls he took from beatings in a steel cage match and the tacks ending up lodged in his back as he walked pretty slow and gimpy.

Mick was a pretty nice guy that walked into the bookstore with me for his book signing. I wasn't there for this reason so it was quite nice that I just happened to run into the guy after my workout. The funny thing is that I felt Mick wasn't much bigger than me. I can't imagine standing up to Triple H the way he does in the ring, fake or not.

You're probably not a wrestling fan just as I am. It's just that Mick Foley was all over the fucking place when I had wrestling maniacs for college roommates so it was hard to miss. Loved the women's matches, especially the bra and panty matches, but not much else. I'm human.

What I liked was how Mick Foley got down on his knees to say hi to a little kid that recognized him as we walked into the bookstore. Any celebrity that pays attention to fans along with being a great guest to the business is cool to me whether I agree with his/her politics or not. I left at this point since I had no camera on me and not a huge interest in wrestling. Bald-O would have liked to see this, though.

My other celebrity sighting was of Liz Phair at a different bookstore. She had me completely starstruck because I not only love her music but I was having massive doses of sex with Kristan to her Supernova album.

"You fuck like a volcano
and you're everything to me."

Gawd, I'm sure my eyes widened as Liz was reading some home decorating magazine and yes, I still remember exactly that moment since it's been forever wedged in my mind that I should have said, "I fucked to your album, girl!" If you've ever read Liz Phair's lyrics and interviews, you'll know that she'd be cool with that. Ever heard "H.W.C.? It stands for "Hot White Cum" as in "gimme your hot white cum."

Girls can be so naughty but we likes 'em that way.

So, if anyone has met some famous celebs, I'd love to hear. My cousin saw Claudia Schiffer in Chicago. Can you believe I shook George Bush Sr.'s hand? Glad I washed it over 10 times.

So, why did I go to the bookstore instead of standing in line with a bunch of white trash to get Mick Foley's children's book signed? *You should have seen these people looking like they've never been in a bookstore. Ever!* What I wanted was a DVD of the psychedelic era's weirdness with a twist. The name is Vampyros Lesbos and yes, it does seem to imply a form of lesbianism. Remember, I am human.

What I did do was watch Vampyros Lesbos's movie trailer and I've got to say that it's some fucked up shit that I should have watched during my hazy year in college. We've got some major lesbianism brought on an Island with some biting. Oh, we've got a nice batch of nudity.

Editor: "What Hedgie is trying to say is that there is some major 70's bush."

I don't know about you but I love weird European 70's movies that involve some fucked up looking individuals that should have found a razor. Vampires with cellulite? I didn't know they get cottage cheese ass. This is so unlike The Lost Boys (vampire classic from the 80's) but I am so loving what I see.

I am just completely bushed today. Work and this fucking test have taken their toll on me. After my Mick Foley sighting, I just crashed again in my bed. It took a lot just to get my ass up to study, take the dogs out, and fix dinner for all 5 of those little Yorkshire Terriers. Noisy? Oh, we get a lot of noise in this house.

What I was going to tell is what I noticed about myself when it comes to breasts. I found out that I have no fucking clue as to breast sizes. None. The reason I know this is because I took the Man Show quiz found on the DVD, Girls On Trampolines. Basically, it's a holiday edition of topless women jumping on a trampoline to the music of "Jingle Bells" and other holiday favorites. Something to put in Grandpa's stocking, eh?

Located on the Special Features section of the DVD, Girls On Trampolines, there is a quiz to guest the breast size of each participant. I failed. Although I know a "C" from a "A," I suck when it comes to "32 Cs" compared to "32 Ds." I'll try again and pay more attention. Yeah, I really need to review my accounting test more but there may come a point that I'd have to guess breast size.

I know I promised to tell George Bush's resume but I am just completely fucking tired. It's a long worksheet that needs to be memorized so I just cannot get into the full evil of what that asshole has done, folks. I've already embarassed myself in my lack of knowledge when it comes to breasts since they just don't make me as crazy as other guys. I'm an eye/ass/tummy kind of guy. It could be the fact that I've seen far too many tits on the guys that attempt to work out in my gym.

- - 2009-07-07

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