-Me

I'm not sure how depressing I am but I sure as hell enjoy a TV show where the characters are in a complete shit storm. Moms cheating until the son finds out? Women competing for a man that has just moved into the neighborhood? You're over 300 pounds and suddenly realize that you need to lose weight after 1 too many overflowing toilets?

So, I lay there in complete utter shittiness thanks to the fact that I have a cold. Only a bit of a sly smile creeped up thanks to constant flicking of channels since I do enjoy Life As We Know It but BRAVO had the 100 Scariest Moments On Film. Man, a horror movie ego stroking or a show where teens have too many hormones to the point that the cute teacher has suddenly taken her student's virginity, causing him to skip down the sidewalk?

Editor: "Uh, you didn't skip but if I do remember what happened the night after you lost your virginity, you, Hedgehoggy-San, went up to MR and high fived him. Gawd, it doesn't get much more sentimental than that, huh?"

It's funny how I looked at this scene of the guy walking down the sidewalk after having sex with a very impressive looking teacher. I do remember that feeling of just wanting to shout to someone, anyone, that I just got laid and had the time of my life.

Editor: "Oh, no! Do not sound like a Dirty Dancing soundtrack.....EVER!"

Who knows? Maybe, I will look back and do a locked entry on virginity. What the problem is is that I have so many topics that I want to let out, abstinence and why fingering is important. It's so great to be male since I don't get as much lip about sex as girls do though some fucking piece of white trash living in a trailer labeled me here on Diaryland along with an uber-feminist freak. I'm expected to be a horny no good piece of male skank but I'm clearly not. It's just that I like to release my thoughts on sexuality and not have to hold back. Lust is nice but the heart has to be there to keep mine pumping. Just who knows when my next locked entry will be..........

Enough of the kink.........for now. I spent a bit of time at work finding a few "firsts." Yeah, I had to remove my first dirty diaper from the parking lot around 6am. Oh, if only I had seen the person that dropped it off, I would have smeared that diaper chili all over the windshield. How can people just leave their fucking garbage? We have 2 giant garbage cans to at least remove the diaper from having to be picked up.

The other thing was that I found a small dead chickadee. It's here where I get all sentimental since I hate to see dead animals due to my inner self envious of all that freedom to fly or swim. Kind of makes me wonder if the little guy just suddenly dropped dead out of the sky but for now, I know he ended up in a plastic bag and some Mountain Dew bottles. If the little critter suddenly came back to life, he'd smell funny but also feel a little wired or buzzed.

As I said, I am sick. It's nothing major but just a cold that makes my voice sound funny, my throat all dry, and stuff found way up my nose wanting to come out. You really needed to hear that didn't you? I've always asked just how much gunk do we have up there, anyway?

My method of ridding myself of a cold is a bit weird but hear me out. When things get really bad to the point that I have chills and feel continually bad, I burn it out. To do this, you do push-ups, as many as you can til your body is burning of complete sweat.

Editor: "This is where Hedgehoggy gets all sexy n' stuff since he ends up close to naked due to major body heat. Whoo! Shake that thing."

I've found that overheating the body works so that toxins and such leave the body through sweat. Not only does it give a pretty freaky workout but man, it can really leave you feeling so fucking good thanks to the major amount of chemicals rolling around your head. Let's just say that I, sometimes, get high from push-ups. Luckily, I don't have to do this since I'm just not in the mood and I'm the cold is minimal.

I'm trying not to think about November 2nd and how close to letting idiots vote for Bush. A lot will change and one of the biggest is the very real possibility of abortion being illegal. It's so scary but impressive that Bush keeps this so underwraps thanks to 2 Supreme Court Justices leaving soon.

So, I tend to let my materialistic side pop up. "Hey, Hedgie! What toys do you want, little boy?" I'd just look at my warped mind of a female midget riding a dishwasher and say, "I want a high-definition TV with DLP a complete flat screen of not less than 43 inches but also not more than 65 that has a combined weight of less than 130 pounds, at least 3 digital inputs and 3 front inputs for gaming systems or other needs but also with a thick enough top to place a Magic 8 Ball for crucial moments (like when you need to know if you have the possibility of smelling funny) and a miniature cabinet underneath for a viking helmet (I want one soooooooooo bad)."

My mom doesn't see why I think we need a viking helmet to wear at the dinner table. You see, sometimes our conversations overlap to the point that I think that whoever is wearing the helmet may speak. I think that it also helps set the mood whenever there is shank of lamb or a big piece of meat on the table. My mom farts a lot. Did I ever tell you that?

- - 2009-07-07

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