It felt so weird to wake up and not feel quite as sick as I have been for the past 3 days. I could actually smell things, walk more upright, and remember why I even bothered to get up out of bed.

Unfortunately, work is a bit unusual because starting November 1, I have no 2 days off in a row. No chance all thanks to the toy season's mad inventory where white trash mothers will fight to see to it that little Joe-Bog gets that special edition Triple H action figure all while holding down Serenity, a fine upstanding blonde wanting to get her hands on it as well. Here is Hedgehoggy laughing at the sight of 2 supposedly grown women going at it. Why does this turn me on?

In all truthfulness, I have suddenly sold my soul to work. I am subjected to 5 days a week of making sure our toyfloor is clean, swept up, and ready for people to enter. Little do they know of the chaos that starts at 6am and is cleaned up right before the doors open. Most of the reason is that this business is in real competition with Wal-Mart and will be as cutthroat as possible.

My days off are Monday and Saturday. As much as I would love to have 2 days off in a row, it's just not allowed. Like my first tour, we are required to take this job seriously.

Not me. I sit in the back waiting to haul the cardboard boxes, on occasion. Some people are slow so I have nothing to do but sit there and giggle at my occasional farts while alone. Other times, I may just stare at the ceiling and try to figure out how many boxes can be piled up in a certain section. The floor is too hard to do cartwheels but I have played around by sliding in my socks to do my Tom Cruise impression from Risky Business. I have no intention of doing this in my undies but a kitchen floor is...........well, sounds nice.

Sometimes, I hit the floor to pick up my crew's cardboard but no one is ready for me. As much as I enjoy my quality time in the back of the store singing to myself or going back to giggling at my own farts, I find it a waste of time. Today, I hid out by reading some of those Little Critter books for the wee people. Funny. I remember reading them when I was a tyke but wondering what the fuck kind of critter they were dealing with. Looked kind of like a hillbilly cockroach.

Times sure have changed! We've got all of these special books that teach kids to read but I wonder if it's any good. Many of these books remain in stock while video games are hard to keep. Whatever happened to actual literacy? My mom started me on Playboy when I was 12 with a subscription but I was required to read books as well. Would you find it hard to believe that I actually read the magazine as well? You see, in this family, sex is good but violence is wrong. I rebelled by wanting to see movies like The Terminator instead of Sorority Girls In Heat.

It makes me wonder as well in video games because many are into glamorizing violence. We've got Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, a game that has you do drive-bys and carjackings to get your point across. This is a sequel to a game that had you fuck hookers to bring your health meters back up. I'm not necessarily against these kinds of games because we all want to run through the Los Angeles streets with the occasional chainsaw after downing 13 Coronas with our buddies in the bar. It's just that I worry how kids don't seperate reality from a video game since there are some that go crazy just to undress a video game character. Personally, I like Lara Croft clothed since her boobs would make it harder to aim while shooting from a speedboat.

The time off in the back of the store gives me so much time to think. Occasionally, I wonder how to better run the store or I go through subjects. There's the usual wonders of sex but I try to dismiss these since it's just not cool to push a cart while the hard on leads. Of course, the upcoming election just makes me cringe but so happy that these stupid ads will go away. The end thoughts usually go back to me thinking about Eminem's video of making fun of Michael Jackson but jealous of that 12 year old girl's dance moves. Man, that girl is impressive.

Look, I don't know how I do it but I pretty much always make it to the gym no matter how sore my feet are after walking on hard floor at work. The workout was light since I'm still coming off this cold and I just hate seeing myself in the mirrors if I haven't been in the gym for more than 2 days. Thursday was my last session.

An older guy and I got into it about the election that led me to ask whether he was voting. He said no all because of the candidates' lies. In some ways, I can understand this but I've found that lying is not always bad since the general population is dumb. Case in point: People actually think Bush has been a great president.

What I am getting at is that there are people that have to be lied to. If a candidate says that he has to raise taxes to fund things, people will hate him. If this candidate said that he will never raise taxes but will somehow fund things, his approval rating goes up. There is general population that believes in anything and it's these idiots that piss me off. It's just plain logic that taxes are a necessity of life, a bit too excessive but necessary.

I'm for more important issues like health care, Iraq, minimum wage (needs to be raised so bad), environmental issues (we need to stop sucking the Saudi dick for oil), and cleaning up the mess the Bush Administration has brought. It'll take years for Kerry but anything is good to get this regime change going.

Yeah, I know many out there went out to celebrate Halloween. I've got a small amount of envy but the truth is that I've never really been into this particular holiday. As much as I came close to dressing up as Britney Spears from that "Baby, One More Time" video for Bald-O's 21st birthday while he was blindfolded into thinking that I was a stripper, my cross-dressing fantasies will remain within me. Gawd, I was so different in college.

My own personal good news is that I found that book I have spent a whole week looking for. I know! A whole frigging week just to read the most scandolous words from Europe? Melissa P.'s "100 Strokes Of the Brush" caused quite a commotion when it was released a year ago with its explicit take on her life of sex. I'm not sure if it's biographical or what but I'll get into it soon. I just love a woman's account on sex so I'm sure I'll read the word "manhood" one too many times.

Girls have a "yum-yum" and I have a "manhood."

Witch: *Evil cackle* "I like to ride some good wood so a hard man with a broom is good to find."

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07