-These were the words on a black t-shirt worn by a girl in my gym, today. I walked up to her to tell her that if those words don't get a guy's attention, I don't know what will.

So, as promised.........

Name: Mike (My last name is known by a few here on Diaryland because I believe that no matter how many bad experiences one can have in psychos, etc. there are good trustable people out there.)

Height: 5"10" and weigh very close to 200 pounds thanks to weight lifting 6 days a week in which I am finally working on these thin excuses of thighs that make you wonder how the hell they can hold up a big torso. Call me "chicken legs" if you wish. Some of the guys in my gym do.

Eyes: Blue. Very blue. I've been told to wear blue clothing to bring them out more. Funny. My a favorite combination for me is North Carolina blue and white.

Favorite color: I know I said the above but I fall for black/red, especially when I'm feeling badassy. My coat is black with red on the shoulders and got me noticed a lot in high school. Did I ever tell you that most of my old clothes still fit?

Hands: Some people have a hand fetish so I'll endulge you with details. I have large hands but very thin fingers that my mom calls "piano playing hands." I hate 'em but what can I do. It's all amusing to me, on occasion, since my wrists are super thin while my forearms are thick, real thick with veins.

What I tend to wear: If it's summer, you'll find me in cargo shorts with a lot of pockets matched with a t-shirt of some kind of weird slogan such as "I Love Lesbians" or "Hang Out With Your Wang Out." Yes, I love stares by people. If it's winter, I tend to wear button down shirts with a white one underneath to go with my cargo pants. I'm trying to get back into jeans but I do have a pair of ripped ones (earned each rip) that really accentuate my booty. It's of my arrogant opinion that I have a nice ass.

Shoes: Always Air Jordans. Always. I'm a collector and wearer of a shoe that has a history since 1985. Some are ugly but the ones I love are gorgeous and unique to the point that even older guys tend to ask me about them. The pair I wear the most are the 19's black with red trim. My collection is getting out of hand, obviously.

My life: I describe my life of now as dull but observant. In my humble opinion, I once led a time of great rebellion in fun and adventure. Got drunk with FBI parents on Parents Weekend in college. Met Bald-O and learned that shaved head white boys weren't all KKK supporters but just misunderstood guys that drove really big trucks. Turned down my high school girlfriend's hints to have sex since I believed in waiting til marriage. *Laughs* Oh, times sure change when a guy meets the right woman.

Why I am the way I am: I'm very, very open minded. It's strange to be this way because it tends to confuse me as to how I should react to life's stimuli. It wasn't always this way since I did have some anger towards gays thanks to a Catholic school upbringing or when the nuns installed the thinking that girls that want to have sex are nothing but whores. Don't worry. I broke free of this soon enough. My parents are a part of the reason I am so open minded. They let me discover things and make mistakes on my own.

How I see myself: Well, I look like a jock thanks to muscles but I feel like a geek inside since I am full of comic book knowledge and learning instead of being frustrated over how to deal with 2 football games going on at once. I'm hardly shy but I tend to get that way around the girls I really, really like. Funny because I tend to talk to the most gorgeous ones that just don't interest me like that. You see, I like beauty but it's the brains that keep me there.

Favorite comic: Ultimate Spiderman. Not only is it well written but I, honestly, think anyone can relate to Peter Parker's issues. From a girlfriend's drama to a high school bully, Ultimate Spiderman has it all. Okay, it is impossible to relate to a guy that does major battles in tights that just happen to have claws come out of each hand but you're picky.

Favorite magazine: Easy. Playboy. It's a magazine I grew up with since the age of 12. I'm one of the few guys I know that actually reads Playboy all while, yes, I do look at the pictures and am so happy that pubes are making a comeback! Go pubes! Anyway, I admire a magazine that stands up on its own with a format that makes me look forward to the next issue. I've got every issue of Playboy since 1984 and many back issues before this so one day I will sell my collection.

Do I want kids? Not sure. I'm being slowly weened off of my fear of them thanks to Mark's (Bald-O's friend that also went to college with me) little girl. She's the first baby I ever held (they took a picture because everyone knows my fear of babies) and even found myself holding her during a visit to Bald-O's 2 months ago. The way I look at it is that I'm still a bit selfish that I'd want my wife's attention all to myself but I'm also fearful of a kid growing up during the Bush Administration's reign of terror.

Ever been in love? Only once of fully solid love with a woman named Kristan, whom I met in my old gym I no longer attend thanks to it being full of stuffy CEO's and their rich pathetic wives. Yeah, I said those 3 little words and found it interesting that a 29 year old woman said them back. Kristan gave me the best description I've ever heard of myself in that I am "Passionate because you think with your heart as well as your head." She gave me a diary to keep that consisted of her missing the sexual desires along with my late night conversations that surprised her in how a 19 year old guy can think.

Long time readers of this diary know that I did come close to falling for my PenDragon, a woman that gave me a huge invite to see her in Montreal, Canada. Needless to say, we hit it off with an amazing 1 week time span that involved a midnight kiss on New Year's and more memories than I can tell you. You could read the entries since they're in the early January part, I think, 2 years ago. Anyway, they are there somewhere. I still miss my PenDragon even if she made me pretty mad by calling me names over a small argument while bringing up an old one to justify it all. Sad. Years of friendship gone thanks to 1 sentence. Goodbye.

Favorite food: Macaroni and cheese with scrambled eggs on top. Oh, this is the way to get me to fall to my knees (besides a girlfriend telling me that I am needed for my oral services right away) since my mom laughs at how easy it is to cook for me. I do love lobster and will top cheese on anything. Anything. People in college were shocked when I put cooked mushrooms on my Froot Loops but that's for another tale.

Favorite book: Stephen King's "It." It's the book that made me stay in bed alllllllll day just to finish it. No working out or going anywhere. Just me with a gang of kids in the 50's and then the 80's as we dealt with IT, a monster that becomes your scariest nightmare but is secretly a giant spider. The book has the most amazing haiku (page 535):

"Your hair is winter fire.
January embers.
My heart burns there, too."

The history of the book, "IT," also has it that I said these words to Kristan before she took off for a vacation in Hawaii. I'll never forget those words.

Favorite CD: Gotta be either Madonna's "The Immaculate Collection" or Garbage's debut album. "Only Happy When It Rains" is MY fucking song so nobody takes it away from me. Sometimes, sadness is a good thing.

Fetishes: I'm a fucking sucker for goth girls for some reason. It could be there need to be different but I don't have a clue. I like girls with nose piercings or even the occasional eyebrow. However, I don't like the labia pierced since Andrea showed me hers. It's cute and all but I don't like metal down where I enjoy licking. Oh, let's not forget the Suicide Girls here on the Internet. Go ahead. Look 'em up. Wow!

I also love ponytails. Very weird. I know since I prefer a girl's hair pulled back rather than down.

Favorite sex position: Cowgirl style! Whoo! It was the position I lost my virginity in while The Bangles' "Eternal Flame" played. Why do I love? First of all, the beginning is fun to see my lover with her knees very spread apart as she descends down onto my cock. Gawd, the sight of it making those swollen pink lips spread open is, like, so awesome! Since my hands are free, I like to rub the clit here and there with my thumb as she's busy riding. Of course, playing with breasts and rubbing tummies is nice but and this is a big but. I love it when she shares her orgasm by collapsing on my chest and holding me tight so I get to feel those "quakes." This also involves lots of kisses from her.

How I feel today: Tired and sorta cranky thanks to sleepyness that never seems to wear off.

Favorite type of panties: I know that a lot of girls like to know what kind of underwear a guy likes on girls. My favorite is tiny bikini ones since I like to keep the pink parts more concealed rather than revealed too soon. For instance, I was getting kind of miffed as J would lay there with her legs wide open waiting for me to pull her thong off. Her whole swollen area was too obvious when I need a steady build-up. There is nothing quite like seeing just enough of a girl's buns when she walks around in panties or is putting them on.

My undies: Calvins. Always Calvins button fly boxer briefs. It takes a certain kind of guy to pull off wearing a kind of underwear that says you better work out. I hate boxers since I don't like my balls flying all over the place. Plus, I've noticed that girls like to unbutton them to let my penis just drop out so they can go down on me. Kristan, Jen, and so on all did this but Kristan would kiss it when she was done and then gently place it back in while buttoning my Calvins back up. Wow! That woman would never let a drop out of me spill onto the ground. Plus, this kind of underwear is good for my ass.

Bodyparts I am known for: It's either my arms or my chest. People tell me that it's impressive with how big my biceps are or how thick my chest is. It helps to have a small waist and very broad shoulders. In no way is this arrogance since I'm not one to flaunt all this thanks to hiding in oversized t-shirts. People that know me will point my body out to others. Let me tell ya, I hate having to arm wrestle people that suddenly want to test their strength against me.

Why I feel like a failure: Creativity is not awarded but stupidity is these days.

If I had my way: I'd be living in a monastery as a martial artist striving for perfection on a gorgeous Island with a great artistic wife that has creatively beautiful people inhabiting it. Well, it's either that or my dreams of being a werewolf/ninja helping rid the world of murderers and rapists by eating them. Look, no court costs!

What I sleep in: If I am with someone, I sleep nude since I love the feeling of warm skin next to mine. Plus, I enjoy morning sex and hope that she is naked as well since I tend to get....uh....hungry pretty early. If I am completely single as I am now, I like long basketball shorts (red, tonight) with an old t-shirt.

Why I love oral sex: It's a shame that men I know don't like to participate in the art of tongue usage thanks to such false shit like the vagina being "dirty" "smelly" or just plain "gross." I enjoy it thoroughly and never find it to be a chore to show my love for someone in this way. I also have a complete respect to a girl's vagina since I do find it like many artists' interpretations of being like a flower. Once it is aroused, it blooms and there is nothing quite as beautiful as seeing a girl in pleasure.

I was taught by Kristan that the vagina's juices were a lifeforce and it is considered a gift to be able to drink it. I'll lick, tongue, and flick til I can no longer and then end with an oral kiss that will find me draining said orgasm. It's no wonder that once she has finished enjoying what I do that she insists I get my cock out. Thank Kristan for taking my virginity and installing these thoughts because I speak with complete truth.

My watch: It's a Mickey Mouse one with a leather strap to show that no matter how well dressed I am, I still have a kid within myself that's full of wonder.

Glasses? Yes, but I wear soft contact lenses pretty much the whole day and night so it's rare of anyone to see me being ol' four eyes.

What I want for Christmas: A digital camera that will help in one day for me to show my pictures of me, the boys, and so on. Maybe, I'll add Brianne, Kevin, and others. This will only be shown to readers I trust so it'll be some time til then but stay tuned. Sara, PenDragon, Sammy, Kristine, and a few others have already seen me.

Favorite movie: Toss up and hard to narrow down but I've seen Jaws and Aliens so many times that I may as well consider them in this category. I did lose my virginity after seeing Walt Disney's Beauty And the Beast but that's just between you and I, k? Aliens has it all, a tough kick as set of Marines battling some major dilemmas such as xenophobes bent on keeping the species alive. Jaws is, well, Jaws, a fascinating look at men on a boat that is so true to how we are. Plus, I saw it at the age of 6 and had the shit scared out of me so bad that I still am not a strong swimmer.

Movies that make me all emotional: Love Actually, Empire Strikes Back, and many more embarassing ones that I won't talk about. Yes, I even read Bridget Jones and.........liked it? Yikes!

Comic character I wish I was: Wolverine is nice since he tends to have my reclusiveness. I always feel short even though I am 5"10" since my friends are all tall, real tall.

Okay, that's all for now. I hope this sums some things up on who I am and why I feel the way I do. It's only right to introduce myself to those that place me on their faves all while feeling like they have a lot to catch up on while long time readers know most of this stuff.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07