-An American Werewolf In London

Well, I'm not sure what the fuck happened now that I look back at it but, man, I was busy at work. Remember when I worried that yesterday's easiness was cause for concern? I don't think I ever stopped loading the baler or got everything set up on the store's floor. It's not surprising that I pretty much fell asleep as soon as I finally rested on my bed. 2 hour nap was soon interupted..........

My mother. Yup, my mother comes in to inform me that my father (that would be the man right next to my window holding a giant electric sponge) needs me to pick up the iron bars holding up the scaffolding and place them on the side of the backyard's garage. *We have 2 garages. This one holds my dad's junk and used to contain the 40something quail from this summer. Remember da birds?*

Ah, I find minor entertainment watching my parents squabble. You see, my mother talks in this form of constant jibber jabber while my dad is way up near the top of the house washing it. Only, this time, he's taking the scaffolding apart piece by piece as he's up there. Well, my father told my mother to shut up. My jaw dropped and then turned to laughter because I've been wanting to tell her that after all the words I've had to listen to while trying to concentrate. Plus, my dad is way up there so my mother's need to talk so much was quite stupid.

I don't want anyone to think that my father is an asshole or anything. Besides treating Mom like a slave by forcing her to drive him places he could've taken his lazy ass to or making her spend money on things we don't need, he's a pretty good guy. My dad has also taught me what I don't want to end up, a pathetic louse with a giant lard of a belly that does nothing fun. I want to always be interested in life.

Well, after my parents' little incident, I got a much awaited hot bath. You see, I hate showers because I just like to really soak up hot water and marvel at my ugly nipples as they poke out of the water like shark fins. Plus, seeing my pink toes is kind of fun, too! Too bad, no one could join me. All dat make Hedgehoggy sad.

Most people dread their naked appearances in the mirror but today.......oh, boy! I loved mine. My arrogant beast of a side that rarely comes out just stood there in amazement. It could be that priest from yesterday that made that comment on how big I've gotten but I'm sure he tells that to all the altar boys.

Thick broad shoulders, a massive chest but very toned all along the sides of the pectoralis muscle, 4 abdominals that seek the need to errupt out of the skin, toned little side obliques, thick as hell forearms, giant hills for biceps, majorly toned triceps, and wait for this....a...thick penis that somehow makes up for these skinny ass legs that I am working on. Gawd, I would so fuck me today. Actually, I just giggled as I saw my schlong wiggle but that's just between you and me.

I guess we now know why Jen, J, B, B2, M, and so on all liked it when I kept my clothes off, huh? So, why am I not having hot wet dirty sex right now, huh? There are times where I feel like a fucking leper.

Just what the fuck gives me a sudden ego surge because these past few weeks, I've felt like such shit. Tired. Cranky. Bored. Want to go and find a giant mushroom to sit on. That's pretty much been me until I've noticed these girls' eyes on me in the gym these past few days. Gawd, just come and talk to me instead of being so fucking shy! I'm really, really nice. Seriously.

I'm now a bit worried about work for tomorrow since I'm still worn out from the shit I had today. I told Doug about Crotch Rot's putting the cardboard on the floor and leaving empty carts. Hope she gets the message since she acted like such a shit when I pointed it all out to the woman that kept pointing to her watch to tell me that the store was to open. Fuck! I can't do everything. I may look like Superman but I've got some major feelings that some people do not know the magic words. "Please?"

Oh, those compression shirts that smell like onions thanks to my sweat? Gettin' clean! It's so tough to be involved in fashion for the sake of body odor.

Speaking of odor....you didn't think I'd let John go now did you? Well, my foul smelling odor absorber helped me finish my work in time for me to leave 30 minutes AFTER work. Nice. John's even been a bit nicer since he's kind of shy of me. I made sure that he kept his distance as we loaded the baler since I have a very sensitive nose.

Speaking of just that, my sensitive nose, I've seen some pictures in Playboy's latest catalog of a new form of panties. Yes, Playboy sells lots of women's underwear since girls just love the rabbit head logo cleverly located on the crotch or ass. They even have vibrators, sensual videos for lovers, and for that special woman in our lives, "How To Give An Awesome Blowjob." Careful, guys, giving a gift with that kind of title can be taken both ways. I'll discuss these weird looking panties later on since I've got my opinions on them.

- - 2009-07-07

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