And so we begin with another odd sort of day that found me wondering if I was in a Monty Python movie or just plain lost in my own indecisive mind. Could be all but bugger the thought!

The thing that has me all perplexed was what happened after I got off of work (we'll get into that in a little bit...) and headed on over to Best Buy to pick up a copy of Ghost In the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (with free t-shirt!!!!). The woman working as the cashier for my section asked for the usual, phone number, etc. for the business's notice of who shops there. Kind of like a single's scene but with less bite.

Anyway, I couldn't help but notice this girl smelled so good. I'm a fan of a light trail of perfume in the air so I couldn't help but have the feeling of my nose's nostrils widening so I just had to comment. Okay, I'm the flirtacious type that likes to make people's days feel so much better and an all around sweetie. The girl leaned over and pulled up her shirt collar for me to smell. This was a first from someone I have never met in my life but I took a big whiff and inhaled. Now, came the weird part. I told her that she smelled so much better than my co-workers.

Editor: "You are so good at the flirting thing. "A+" will be your score! Go, Hedgie! I'm sure she smells better than John. Anyone smells better than him!"

I thought that was rather sweet of the cashier since I'm obviously not interested in her but the way she smelled. My nose is quite sensitive and I just wanted to tell her something that would make today's workday a bit easier. Wish someone told me I smelled fuckin' spectacular. Hell, I'll take a nice little spankin' on da ass.

Editor: "You mean like the one your friend, Travis, did to you in the gym last week that you'd rather forget? Tell your audience and let their gaydars go haywire."

I am so not going there about having my ass tapped by a big white dude but you can all discuss it amongst yourselves of a Newton and a fat-free latte'.

My battles with Crotch Rot just might hit an all-time high, folks. We've had some people quit at work and this has caused all of us stress. I'm picking up other people's loads to carry to the point that people think I have 16 arms and 40 toes. No, we are not going to be discussing my penis so get your minds out of the gutters, ladies.

Crotch Rot gave me a bit of lip today when I stopped to talk to Joe for a short while. I had all the cardboard off the floor and did not know that I was supposed to take back the carts of unloaded boxes. So, I was just doing my usual of discussing the latest songs to play in my warped mind only to find Crotch Rot rush towards me like there was a sudden sale on double wide trailers complete with a sticky flycatcher to make picking your nose outside so much easier.

You know me? I'm Hedgehoggy, the guy with quite a mouth and ready to give lip back but I backed down.........for now. I realized that I was at fault for taking up time at work to chat with Joe, whom was cowaring. It'll take one moment of complete stupidity from Crotch Rot and then I will unleash hell or bring great vengeance upon her. That will be the day I don't brush my teeth in the morning...ya know? For added effect.

So, another weird thing that shook my world? My little friend, Andrea, is engaged! Holy shit! Don't remember Andrea? Here's a quick rundown.

-Andrea was the girl that tried to seduce me at her house by taking off her thong and throwing it in my lap. I got thrown out when we got into an argument over whether Bush should be elected or not. True story.

-Andrea is the girl whom I held her hand while she got her first tattoo. The look on her face was so priceless when the artist told her to take down her pants. Let's just say that I got to know Andrea a little too well on the friend side.

-Andrea is the girl that had sex with 2 Puerto Ricans but emailed me in class to ask me for advice on threesomes beforehand. I later found out that these 2 guys were brothers and that she soon started having sex with the dad when he grounded them. True story.

-Andrea had her labia pierced and while I was shocked, she took down her panties and showed me. What did I do? Well, I got on my knees and proceeded to flick it. Bald-O still cannot believe I fended off this girl's sexual advances after seeing Andrea at a friend's wedding. She was my date but I'm really picky on who I want to go to bed with. Seriously.

I'm just shocked that my little Andrea, a girl that I helped through her first year in college, has grown up. I doubt she would want me to tell her fiance about all those wild nights she told me about and how her panties ended up in my lap. Like I said, I'm just a sweetie so this will only be between you and me. There's so much more I could tell but that would make this entry far too long.

Of course, I had to deal with Brianne's whining about her being fat. She has none! None! There is not a drop of fat on Brianne but she proceeds to grab my hands and feel her stomach and her thighs. Ugh. I'm tired of this and I know a lot of guys in the gym were watching this event go on. Not happy about this.

I've got a question for my readers. I know that most of you are female with the occasional male looking for of all things, "smelly stinky panties" or "midgets riding elephants." Gotta give the boys props for the last one. Go boys! Anyway, I was reading a diary in which the girl stated that guys never tell about how to give a good blowjob. Wow! Ya mean the sexes don't talk about such fun subjects!?! Geez, this religion freakish thing is going too far.

So, without further sentencing, I'd like to know if anyone would like me to put a major entry up on how we guys like to given blowjobs. Seriously. I know what I've enjoyed being done to my penis so I'd love to give out tips or flatout what the fuck to deal with that age old question women ask themselves:

"Let me get this straight. I have a penis in my hands. Just what the fuck do I do with it and why is this man's eyes rolling back while he is drooling?"

We'll see if anyone wants to know because I've enjoyed my moments in the past of receiving blowjobs even if I prefer actual penetration since it's just too much fun in seeing my lover cum at the same time. I've got a mind that can match a good British flick but a bod for sin.

Well, I am tood'ling off for a much needed rest. Tomorrow, I work from 9pm til 3am with this town's white trash and various underlings that have no interest in deodarant or showers. It's tough having a sensitive nose so I am begging for a wet vagina to bury it in. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07