I'll start right off the bat and say that I am sick with some kind of minor cold thingee right now. My body's skin is uber sensitive and a bit sore all over. Fucking hate this since it's obviously from work. It's the nasty hours that have caused me to descend into madness thanks to not being able to sleep BUT having to wake up at near 4am. Guess who has to be up by 3:30am tomorrow?

So, maybe you do or maybe you don't but I will transfer my thoughts on my Thanksgiving. It was great but that wake-up call of having to report to the store by 4:45am was real hell because no matter how much of my mom's green bean casserole I had, it was looming in my mind.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

I used to say those words when I was in college but let me tell ya, no matter how hard you try to follow them, it aint happening. Sleep has become a precious commodity to me.

So, my aunt and uncle came along with my cousin. The other cousin was in Kansas to visit her husband's side of the family. Well, I'm no brooder on the fact that I wish both were here instead of just one since we get into discussions on Prince and Garbage Pail Kids (nasty stickers that were banned from schools long ago that we used to laugh at).

What shocked the shit out of me is that my aunt and uncle brought 3 large dogs with them. Miss Lilly is the big basset hound owned by them but the other 2 are owned by the cousin in Kansas. One word to describe all 3: "adorable." Unfortunately, they all had to stay in the garage thanks to them knocking the gate down and checking out the kitchen area. My aunt thought that the tail of one was her husband tapping her ass and even let out a squeal until I pointed out that it was clearly of the canine variety.

I did something I've never done and that was taking all 3 dogs for a walk around my neighborhood in the cold. It was fun to see all the lights in the area and to know who was home while my cousin handled the main 2. Miss Lilly had an amazing time checking out her "pee-mail" sent by the local dogs.

My parents and relatives attending all loved The Incredibles, that Pixar flick about the aging of superheros. I've only seen about 30 minutes but it is quite interesting in concept but I think adults would understand it more. How would you feel if you were once a hero protecting the world but suddenly in an insurance selling business telling little old ladies that their rates will double? Gawd, I hate the corruption in this world.

Work itself? Went in at 4:40am for my 5am shit.....uh, shift til 2pm. Yeah, I saw so much white trash in 2 hours that I wondered where the fuck these people live since I normally don't see this type of human being unless Hee-Haw is back for re-runs. Women with mullets? Oh, we had lots of fun imaging them crying as I take the scissors to that back ended heap of hair.

My main duty was overseeing the carts. I was pretty busy throughout the day so time did go fast until the last hour and 15 minutes came along. Feet and body were dying for attention or to just rest but taking a nap in a shopping cart was out of the question. I did go visit the bookstore next door for 5 minutes without anyone knowing. I nearly cried when I found out that all the new magazines were not put out yet.

A part of me nearly died inside when I watched a lady bring her 4 little girls with her to shop for. You see, 1 was in a wheelchair thingee and clearly disabled. Gawd, I wish I could have just taken a certain power and made this little girl able to walk and live a normal life instead of being wheeled around while wearing diapers.

What I did do was help this woman out by not only taking her cart for her but also loading her newly bought toys. She was quite nice so I did get a small jolt of energy............til.....

I got slammed by some asshole walking out. This fucker had the nerve to say "sorry" and then proceed to walk off. This wasn't your normal little tap hit but a real collision to my left shoulder. It took a real power of self-control to not run hard into his back with a jumping kick that I used to practice when I was a kid.

Editor: "Mike thought he was going to grow up to be a ninja."

Well, actually I still do long to be a werewolf/ninja to help rid this world of murderers and rapists so I'd technically be a good guy. The peeing in local rose gardens just might dampen my reputation but I thought the ladies might overlook that. Werewolves need to pee, too.

One weird event was when a troupe of lesbians got locked out of their van. How do I know their sexuality? I'm getting my gaydar on, baby! Plus, their shirts clearly said ladies softball and the way these girls looked was just too obvious.

So, what do lesbians do when locked out of a van? They chant! Damned if anybody looks at large chicks that can wield bats but I definitely had a laugh as I pushed a cart by these girls as the chant turned into dancing as well. The store director called the cops to help get them back into their van so our parking lot was once again a quiet little haven for white trash. I should have stopped to get some oral sex tips.

There's not much else to tell but I did get through another episode of Showtime's The L Word. I'm through 4 of them now and still enjoying each episode. You see, that's what life is about, exploration and accepting things of a different nature by allowing others to live their lives. I always hate it when my love of oral sex is taken as something gross in society since I am such a giver of all that is the female anatomy.

You will never hear me say "pussy" unless I am singing a rap song that carries this word or to quote something that has this word within. I love the vagina far too much to label it as a weakness.

The only nice thing is that my work hours will be back to normal more since the preparations for the After Thanksgiving Sale are over. My Saturdays and Mondays are off but the 5am work-start-times are a real bitch. Luckily, I find time in the baler to think about a few things that help me stay alive but the walking back through the store is a little awkward. Inside joke but someone knows what I'm talking about.

So, I bid thee a good night and want you all to know that when I'm feeling better and I feel as if I have some actual sleep, I will give a locked entry (have to ask for the password but some already have it) on how girls can give a great blowjob or my own personal hatred for abstinece programs. How can someone call sex "unnatural?" It's a beautiful gift but also one that has to be carefully given.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07