-Translates to "Eat my pussy" in Thai.

Okay, I've been just dying to let this out since I came across it in a European mag today. There is nothing like coming across something unusually silly but amusing after seeing consumers run rampant at the mall.

I'm talking about Asian XP Games. In case you do not know, the "XP" stands for "X-Treme Pussy." Now, I just had to laugh but even have a sense of admiration for what goes on at these games. In no way is this for the religious folk that of how Gawd wanted them to win or whatever the fuck morons come up to the mic to say.

The games consist of women that can shoot ping pong balls out of their vaginas, put out candles with their queefs (vaginal farts) or pick up weight with their labia. I'm not kidding about these games because pictures sure as hell don't lie. Of course, this being a European mag, tits were on full display but the vaginal portion had to be censored. You know how little boys get when presented with naked women.

Now, if you've never read me, I rarely and I mean rarely ever use the word "pussy" thanks to a major amount of respect for the vagina. I will quote passages that use this word or lyrics from songs but you will only rarely hear this word come out of my mouth. My friends, however, use the word, "pussy," a lot. In fact, Bald-O gave me that word as a nickname thanks to the fact that I share my feelings on things, just like women.

Women: "Awwwwwww.......that's so cute."

Anyway, I find it funny to hear of men calling the vagina as "weak" since that is what the term "pussy" means. If you really think about it, there is a hell of a lot of power within this portion of the female anatomy. How else can you explain childbirth, the fact that the vagina is self-cleaning, that it looks so beautiful, and that it makes men do weird things to get the attention of a female?

I've known of strippers in Bangkok that would place ping pong balls inside themselves and then shoot them out. However, I never thought that a vagina could be used to blow out candles. Can you imagine if women here got, uh, wind of this?

Woman: "Hold on there, folks. Grandma's got a whole new way of blowing out the candles on her birthday cake. Wait'll you see this!!!"

People attending birthday party: *Jaws drop*

The one portion of the game that I'm dying to see is that women there use their vaginas to blow darts out of. I'm not kidding. In this part, they have the audience (yes, there is an actual audience as completely naked women will put themselves on full view) move further back or be poked. Can you believe the headlines in the local newspaper if a major accident with a dart happened?

Now, I also have to admit that I would like to see these Asian XP Games and I'm sure this desire will warrant a trip to the local porn store just to satisfy my urge. A part of me kind of wonders why I'd have to go all the way out there while titles of "Deep Inside Christy" or "Black Woman, White Dick" are clearly around me. Why can't we see the beauty of a woman's vagina being used for something to show actual power in use? We're a society that worships athletes so why not?

I'll never forget the first time I got an actual idea of the power of the vagina. When I was having sex with Kristan, I jokingly tried to withdraw my penis from her. What I was shocked to find that it was impossible due to her squeezing the muscles down there to the point that I was actually stuck inside her vagina til she said so. Isn't that pretty amazing?

I mean, we guys don't have much talent when it comes to things regarding our dicks. All we do is see who pisses the furthest (I've never been a part of such games but they are out there) or who lasts longer in sex.

Editor: "Hedgehoggy wins at a time of 43 minutes!"

Women get it all but aren't able to show these talents all due to the labeling of "when a woman's legs are spread open, it's obscenity." To me, that term is complete shit since actual obscenity is when someone only focuses on what is between a woman's legs as making her have actual worth. Sorry, but magazines that have picture after picture of gynecology- like images just don't sit well with me.

So, you are most likely a female reader. Ever thought of your vagina and what it can do? You should. I've seen quite a few women here on Diaryland with such extroardinary guts to show or to tell about themselves in a manner that many people would like to keep quiet. Sex is a beautiful thing and so is the talent for a woman to pick a beer bottle up between her legs without her hands.

I'm not sure if I enjoy this time of year thanks to the madness of trying to go to the mall. If you go after 11am, good luck at finding a spot to park because people seem to think that this place is THE place to be. No big deal for me but I did see a little kid get caught shoplifting and then a stern warning from our mall rent-a-cops. One guy's got a porno mustache! Cool!

Alright, I'm outta here. Tomorrow's journey of a small errand and then a trip to the gym for a short workout is my goal. Let's not forget the fact that I get to sleep in now. Gonna be real interesting to see if I can hack work til 3am, huh? Viva vagina! Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07