How long has it been since I've had an actual day off from work? I remember it being a Sunday from 2 weeks ago so that's all I know but it felt good to actually know that I don't have to come in to the store and walk the fucking thing over 100 times to keep the whole place clear.

Last night was kind of fun. If you've ever wanted a chance to let out some real inner aggressions, try to destroy a stand. My boss, Doug, wanted me to demolish a Shrek 2 stand along with some kind of interactive tool for kids that uses characters. Over 2 hours later, I was done with the Shrek 2 display but only 60% done with the other. It takes a lot of work and energy to kick, smash, take apart the staples, and just lose it when doing roundhouse kicks. No one does it like me.

6 days in a row now. I'm finished on Thursday night with work. There will be no going back to a store that I had a hard time getting myself up to work for thanks to people that do not know bathing or brushing teeth. Some belong in zoos so that they can masturbate all while holding bananas as people point and giggle.

Who really cares about work, anyway? My day off was spent looking for parking at the mall (got really lucky), dodging old people that think walking slow in a store is okay to block the really fast folks like me, getting Joe's email address since I'm actually missing a co-worker (the horror!), and avoiding the gym. That's right! I skipped a night of talking the superficial with Brianne all so I can veg while eating fries and some gyros (just finished my last one minutes ago!). Gawd, I am so going to mind-punish myself now.

I've also cleaned and being a neat freak tends to weigh on my mind so this was an issue. Seeing all those clothes piled up on my chair irked me so much all while making me feel lazy after waking up at 1pm thanks to the pursuit of coming down all while watching those stupid Girls Gone Wild infomercials at 3:30am. You just cannot look away as each girl bares her breasts (censored, of course) and screams.

Editor: "Why does exposing boobies make girls scream, anyway?"

There's still much to do. I have to get my family gifts and being the knowledgable joe I am, books will be most likely. I'm at issue with people getting things that don't sharpen minds so I want to get my brother, dad, and Mom things that will make them think. My brother loves pool, Dad loves planes, and my mother loves anything with cute dogs. Obviously, my family may seem to have issues.........normal issues.

For me? I've still not found enough time out of my loafing to read my newest issue of Playboy (yes, I read it), watch DVDs, or set up my X-Box all thanks to my cleaning (haven't dusted yet) or desire to get down on the floor to play with my dogs. I'm a giver so my dogs love me. Our makeout sessions last for hours.

What I really need for Christmas is for someone (Sara) to push me down and force me to watch DVDs all day with her. There will be no laughing during the Star Wars Trilogy but I will be allowed to do the Ewok dance in my Calvins.

You know college is over when your dorm-mates send Christmas cards. I got mine of the 2 people that lived on my hall and married. See? Bar crawls bring people together! Oh, Elvis is in the Las Vegas picture sent to me by Scott and Steph but I didn't know Steph was into threesomes. It's always the sweet wholesome girls, huh?

Editor: "You need to be tied up!"

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