-Me

Well, I must say that I am happy to report that my zipper has become more stable as a result of my quickness in ridding my body of this cold. It's become a natural tendency for me to realize that I will be getting sick when I have to pee every 10-15 minutes. Reminds me why I am so happy to be male.

So, yes, I did go to work and not surprisingly, Crotch Rot was up to her usual duties. It could be that the Christmas spirit with her fellow white trash family got to her but she occasionally smiled. How anyone can actually like Crotch Rot is beyond me.

Only a few of us were in the store. Mark, Crotch Rot, Bill, and the other half of the smelly duo were in there. There is also this woman that proudly displays that she is a mom but I wonder over a few things. First of all, the amount of make-up on her face physically scares me because I have a fear of clowns. The other is that this woman has a grin that is downright haunting.

Yeah, work was not on a high comfort level when the good boss is asleep in bed with his fiancee but the bad one is stuck with you in a locked store. Who's to come between a good heated argument when Crotch Rot no longer remembers the good times spent in a trailer marked by Twinkie wrappers and Budweiser bottles?

No work tomorrow so I have no idea what to do with myself on a day off when I have pretty much recovered from this cold. It feels so good to actually taste food again! Peanut butter is something I missed and it felt so good on mah tongue. Did I tell you that I don't have to pee as much?

There is a possibility that I will look at digital cameras once I pay my gym membership. My yearly need to get a football jersey is possible as well even if I no longer watch the sport as much. I'd rather play than just sit on the couch. It's also sexy to have a girl wear the jersey and nothing else on.

I saw this calender a month or so back that was based on butts. It's kind of cute even if a bit deranged to have 12 months of women's asses as the main focus but I really shouldn't argue. I am such a fan of this muscle on women that I melt along with the sight of pony-tails, women with actual thought patters, and uninhibited desires.

Well, one of the girls is kind of bent over while wearing a pair of panties that I cannot forget about. They're white with little polka dots. Oh, so lovin' white ones with some kind of design like hearts or steamboats.

Men everywhere: "Steamboats!?!?!"

Well, I'm just pointing out that little characters of some sort are cute on women's panties.

Men everywhere: ""Cute?""

Oh, I know how guys aren't supposed to use certain words or we're demasculinized but I'm using the term, "cute," for myself. I'm so tired of seeing black thongs, red thongs, or any tired old thong that is placed out there. It's no surprise to find women in Suicide Girls posing in panties that contain little characters all around. Just a white pair with a unique design all around and thin amount of fabric wrapped around the hip area.

Christmas cards become such a pain for me. I get them from friends I no longer feel as much for since I think so much more outside the box while they are busy praising Gawd or talking religion shit about how we all need to go to church. Hedgehoggy don't play that and yes, I am talking about those people I went to see in early October. I did my best to send a very somber email thanking them all while writing one sentence of making the observation that none of them seemed to care when I mentioned my grandmother's death. I'm pretty forgiving but I never forget.

I'm a bit tired of the cold out there. At 3am, it was pretty bad along with today's 6am pulling into work. The urge to pee on the store just to see if it would form ice was within but they'd know it was me since I can spell correctly.

Doesn't this time of year make you want to just stay inside and do nothing? I have this urge to just order myself to sleep all day and watch movies, something I was supposed to do but found myself too busy.

"I love your sleeves."

-Napolean Dynamite

Oh, I've got Napolean Dynamite on DVD and am thinking of adding Shaun Of the Dead, two of the weirdest movies to ever debut. Want to know which album cover is best to decapitate a zombie? Just ask Shaun and his buddy.

Tuesday brings so much more to get. I'm at a loss of words when it comes to the urge to see Milla Jovovich fight zombies in Resident Evil 2 or Ghost In the Shell's sequel. There's Garden State, a fine flick on something I can relate to. Also, Open Water, a movie I have no idea why they made such a fuss about the sharks because it wasn't that huge of an issue in the first place. Those were small sharks and much easier to handle because I used to study those amazing creatures.

Yes, along with dinosaurs and insects, I was a total geek in First through 3rd Grade. I knew every fucking thing about sharks since I admired their designs. When Jen (the ex-cheerleader that I spent some time with) told me that her favorite animal was the Great White Shark, I was shocked. Never before had a I heard a girl say this because it was always "koalas (I love 'em, too!) or kitty cats. Jen and I both knew that they are misunderstood. Still, I sure as hell won't swim in the water with a Great White or Bull Shark (THE most dangerous, by the way, since it is also found in the Mississippi River) just like I wouldn't ask a lion to watch over me as I sleep.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07