Sometimes, Diaryland can be such a bitch for me. I sit and read how great things are in people's lives and I tend to get a little jealous. My personal New Year's will be playing catch up with so many of the things I put off due to learning to work at odds with my sleep patterns while most everyone will be drunk off their asses on champagne with people they love. Oh, yeah, it's not easy when your good friends live over 2 hours away. Not good at all even if that means I won't have cops knocking at my door.

Editor: "Most of the time, the sign of cops showing up at a party means that it's a badass unforgetable party! Rock on, man!"

Wanna know why I did not go to the gym tonight? I was trying to take a 1 hour nap beforehand but it ended up going for 3.5 hours of sleep. Then, I woke up to suddenly being worried that I have to go to work again without realizing that I just got home. This troubles me since this is the sign of how out of it I have become. Yeah, I also only slept 2 hours last night. Even looking at train hours for Indiana didn't make me sleepy.

Some people love the unknown and I am a big fan of traveling into it as well but right now, I just want closure on work. Am I done? How many more days does the business need me? I know my boss loves to have me because I bring a bit of fun but I prefer to know when I have served my time in helping the store.

Naturally, I could just quit. The schedule stated that I am "available" so Doug asked me to come in. Being the extra nice guy I am, I said "yes" so another day is being spent not seeing the sun come up while being surrounded by brick and mortar. I know for certain I don't work New Year's Day.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just too nice. Doug, my boss, drives me a bit mad here and there with his constantly telling me that I am not doing things right but then telling me I am doing an amazing job keeping the store ready before it opens. So, which is it? All I do is just close off his comments but sometimes they get through. Oh, how I hate it when I don't let my mind wonder while Doug is talking out of his ass.

I miss the old me, the goofy (although, a little tired) and full of life guy I used to be thanks to a completely shitty Year 2004. Last night, I thought of my Year End Entry and came up with 9 things that either changed me or became a major discussion here in my diary. 9 fucking things!!! Normally, I cannot stop chatting but I'll try and dive deeper for more of what some people missed and what I occasionally bring up:

1. J
2. My grandmother's death
3. Bush
4. My other grandmother's alzheimer's
5. Brianne
6. Work

There are, of course, others but I'll get into them later on. I still have so many things back-logged that I want to let out while I take my mini-break from working and actually reteaching myself to sleep before midnight instead of at 4am when I have to be at work by 6am. Those nights spent in the store til 3am really got me a bit wired up and too goofy to actually settle down, folks.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07