-Dorothy Parker on pessism

Alright, after a night of talking to my old religious friend and then getting only an hour of sleep before heading off to work at 6am, I am back. I'm not sure how alive I feel but I'll tell you this. I am looking forward to going to bed soooooooo bad.

Yeah, my good old friend, MR, called me up last night. We haven't seen each other in a long, long time. Namely, since last April was the last time I saw my buddy, MR, the only guy I know to just come out and tell me that he is wearing his girlfriend's black thong in class. I'm not sure how he did it because that is just too little fabric for my cock.

Santa: "Oh, just walkin' around in women's underwear!"

The funny thing is that MR, as religious as he is, let me bring up the topic of him wearing his girlfriend's thong. Well, he doesn't remember it as well as I do when I sat next to him in class only to sit upright to know that a girl's worn undies is now shoved up his ass. I'm not sure if I would do such a thing but maybe if you ask nicely I'll find out what my size is in Victoria's Secret while the saleswomen look at me in horror.

Editor: "Correction, Mr. Hedgehoggy has worn a thong, a black thong, at one point before Mark's wedding. A picture was taken as proof that those with testosterone will resort to a softer side with a little black number."

Obviously, as tired as I am, my humor still remains. I'm about to descend into the hell of dealing with my boss on the paycheck descrepencies even if the amount of cash doesn't really matter. It's the hell I put up with in working for this place. In other words, a nicer environment while working with white trash wouldn't bring up the issue of cash missing. I hate doing this since it should not even be an issue in the first place. Everyone gets paid fair, right?

Editor: "I don't know if I can answer that. These panties are making my balls itch."

Oh, I want y'all to know that I am looking at digital cameras here and there. I've narrowed it down from about 50 to somewhere near 10. There's so much to choose in a digital camera since a couple come with their own little printers for around $150. Others have easy buttons to use. I feel so behind while other people have had digital cameras for some time. Sara, you are helping me out on this, right?

*Psst! Sara's this ultra cool sweetheart that has revved up my insides like you wouldn't believe. Maybe, if you ask her nicely, she'll host some pics of us together so you can see wearing nothing but my white/blue socks and possible nail polish.*

My mother told me that Buffy, my Grandma's dog, was snoring so loud last night while she slept in the playpen in my parents' room. I've now started calling Buffy......."Boogers." It seems to fit and she likes it.

Gawd, I've been thinking about sex a bit too much lately that it's driving me in everything I do. It goes in all different directions in making love and fucking or a nice quickie. I'm such a giver that most of my thoughts are of using my tongue to lick a yum-yum and then cuddle. C'mon, get horny with me!

Yes, I cuddle! It's embarassing so shut up. I'm not in the understanding of why other guys don't do this since happiness is a nice warm naked body right next to you on a wet rainy night like tonight.

Oh, I am officially done with work on Wednesday. My boss made it known to me that my clean expertise is no longer needed for a piece of shit workplace where people wear enough make-up to resemble clowns, don't realize they smell so bad that a cloud of stank is left when they move through aisles, or kiss the boss's ass while making my time hell. Oh, how I love working at white trash central!

Life will be a bit changed starting tomorrow. I've got the day off to get some sleep and I am hitting the gym hardcore again after spending a bit too much time finding that a 1 hour nap turns into a 4 hour one. Brianne will be back in the gym at my time but I *think* she's getting a job to start the year off. It's her friend that I have to deal with so there will most likely be debates on genital piercings once again. Who doesn't think about those?

My wishes for the year 2005:

-Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears, and Meg Ryan all just disappear.

-I have massive amounts of sex that leave me exhausted or just shooting sawdust out of my dick.

-The victims of this tsunami actually get the aide needed while musicians finally decide to give instead of expecting the public to buy a stupid single.

-I see Batman Begins, Star Wars: Revenge Of the Sith, Elektra and most of the other summer movies where I can just put away my thinking and see women kick the shit out of men or Bruce Wayne's interesting origin being replayed for the 50th fucking time.

-Kill Bill is rereleased on DVD in it's actual version with many extras. Go, Black Mamba!

-Hollywood stops putting out movies like Baby Geniuses or Fat Albert movies.

-People actually see the Bush Administration for what it is.

-Oh, why not throw in what we all want. I wanna fall in love again so that all of life's little miseries seem like nothing and I can make someone else's heart beat a bit faster.

I could go on but I do have a possibility of adding more to my Year In Review or some neat little topics to go on. Everyone wants to know how to give an amazing blowjob or why you should be having sex instead of just trying to uphold some stupid values thing that Christianity is holding you back on.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07