Yessirree, that is the sound of the female population after hearing that Brad Pitt is single once again and on the prowl after seperating from Jennifer Aniston. As I've seen in interviews, their priorities seem to be different. Brad wanted kids but Jennifer wanted a career and possibly to smoke.

Inner Hedgehoggy: "Why, Brad? Children are known to spill your beer, eat furniture, pee in dishes, and cause a major need to have 2 of each shirt. I know this because I have to visit Mark's and see that cute little tyke of his that reminds me that no matter how cute babies are, they just remind me of a drunken college roommate........only a daily one.......plus smaller."

In a town of 70something thousand, it sure is weird to be known for something. I was walking in the parking lot when a guy motioned for me to come over. It was this tall black dude with gold teeth (always a good sign of originality, huh?) wanting to talk to me near his car while his girlfriend waited. This guy asked, "Aren't you that guy with all the Air Jordans?" Yup, but man it's weird to be known for something.

I guess it is kinda girly or strange (hey, your choice) to be standing in a parking lot talking about shoes but we're weird. Sneakerpimps are just a population no one truly should bother to understand since it's better that way. After about 8-10 minutes of talking shoes, I had to leave. Dude, it's cold out there!

My wish is for my little brother to stop trimming his pubic hairs near the toilet because there is a whole mess of them. I'm not sure how to bring this up but I think the proper thing to do is bring the topic up over dinner.

Me: "Dude, I didn't realize your lawn down there was such a well manicured one. Well, it's either that or the toilet is growing like a Chia Pet so please consider trimming yo' bush outside or something."

Mom and Dad: *Looks on faces-priceless*

Well, I guess trimming pubic hair is kind of funny. How do you do it? Legs on something to hold balance or just stand there? Nair? Razor or trimmer? Sucks to get those damn red bumps. I like mine trimmed but lightly bushy. Was that an overshare?

Mmmmmmm....bushes on girls. Must have since I like to run my nose through a patch of it. I just hate completely shaven, 5 O' Clock shadow and all. Mohawks, tiny upside down triangles, or landing strips are fine.

Want to get into other weird things on my mind? I love the movie, Road House, so much that I cannot see why critics didn't see how fun it is. C'mon, you've got great dialogue.

Man: "What if someone calls my mamma a whore?"

Patrick Swayze (Dalton): "Is she?"

Plus, you've got some of the coolest ugly extras ever! When was the last movie you saw contained some real people? Everyone looks so fucking amazing but when it comes to real life, there will always be some fucker that smells really bad. I know because I worked with a couple.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07