-Fight Club (said by the Tyler Durden, one of the greatest characters ever created as well as being someone that a roommate's dad told me I am like)

Ah, so I am back and let me tell ya that cabin fever is quite interesting in that you find the oddest things to do instead of being outside freezing your ass off, folks. Some examples:

-I have a very special wuv when it comes to my little dog, Buffy. She looks a bit like a muppet and all with a side of sass. Shit, this little dog stands up against the bigger ones we have, Ellie-Mae ("Hoss") and Bonnie (Yorkshire Terrier on steroids). Buffy will chase her favorite little stuffed toy up and down the hall til she's worn out. Me? I'm just marveling that I can still throw acurately and preparing for an onslaught of being licked.

-I look at little spots in my room that need cleaning or better placing. My pamasar chair is now clear for Buffy to take naps in. She insists on all books being removed while she sleeps in the Playboy throw I have on it. There's a Jack Daniel's one underneath for added comfort.

So, where have I been? Last night was such a bad time thanks to the reappearance of chills. I was shivering underneath 4 covers til midnight. Thanks to the no sleep from the previous night, it was tough to heal from some small bug I got.

I'm not sure if my mother is some kind of weird bottle goddess or something but she ordered me to take a pill before I slept. Popped the sucker in my mouth and had an amazing sleep til around 11am. Whoa! I never ever sleep that late but the quality was so good that I didn't look at it as being bad. Little Hedgehoggy came out of his burrow refreshed and no longer coughing/sneezing.

Fairy: "Boogers be gone! *Sprinkles fairy dust on sleeping Hedgehoggy*

Suddenly, I was sent back into the fucked up reality of realizing George Bush will be inaugurated in 2 days. Ugh. 4 more years of complete shit from the corporations' robot.

Okay, I will come out and admit that I was quite into The Village, that little movie we all see advertised on TV these past few weeks. Being such a smarty-pants, I figured out half the ending before I even saw the fucking thing. So, neener neener!

The Village was quite good, slow but good. I'm sure people will be giving me hell for this since most of M. Night's movies are no longer as interesting once the secret ending is out but I loved Signs. Loved it! I'll never forget seeing that movie with Bald-O and then having to sleep in a trailer right next to a cornfield. Oh, I was up for most of the night but worried that the aliens would not return me.

Editor: "Who's up for having their ass probed by green people while flying over 100 miles per hour!?! Anyone?"

To make a long story short, The Village had me drawn to it. I've read that the critics found it too slow but not me. I loved the secret and how it could be used even at this time. Who doesn't miss a bit of innocense? Oh, I'd like to add that the "creatures" were awesome in design with that bit of spookiness of their red cloaks.

Although most people will go for the fear that comes with the spookiness of the story, I liked the blind girl, Ivy. That actress was very, very good and payed off even more towards the end. Yeah, one of the creatures shows up and had me raise up on my bed thanks to being drawn to this potential battle.

I can't tell you the part that I figured out but just know that there are plenty of clues thrown around. The village elders hold all of them so hear them out. Weren't the theatrical trailers so effective in how spooky the whole movie looked? Nothing was given away, unlike too many shown nowadays.

I did see another movie before I finally crashed in bed thanks to Mom's "magic pill." Hooray for me because I am restless thanks to so many thoughts in my head.

If you like odd foreign films, there is one titled All Ladies Do It by Tinto Brass. This is not a movie for everyone because it is a bit more than soft porn. Yeah, it has women with their legs wide open, fingers exploring places, erect penises, soft penises, breasts, women washing themselves after peeing, and many more things that I was surprised to find in a 1992 movie that had subtitles. Europeans are a bit kinky with a sense of fun when it comes to sex.

Most of the way the director did this movie was quite pigheaded in telling us that all women cheat and need to in order for the marriage to continue. Fine. As long as it is just that, a movie. You see, after 5 (or less?) years of marriage, the woman needs to explore other guys's cocks while still being in love with her husband whom soon realizes that he gets off on hearing her stories. Weird? There's more to it but you'd just have to see the images. It's definitely 1992!

Oh, but I have a special love for the raw honesty of sexuality. Seeing a guy feel up his wife while driving down the road to feel her wetness just........oh, it just makes me all soft inside. I'm a lover of exploring the female anatomy so when this guy (you have to see THIS guy), a complete ass lover bends her over to explore, it reminds me of me. I'm such a complete dink in fingering and licking a woman from behind that I see the beauty in it. Women need to be explored and given many orgasms to show them they are loved, unlike Christianity and how we must feel awful for having any kind of fun.

All Ladies Do It is so........weird in how they showed things so raw. There wasn't much of a Hollywood feel to it thanks to real women's bodies being on display. Even the lead woman had a very large behind but that lovely pink slit was something I could not take my eyes off of. Oh, some guys are into girls with hairy assholes. Well, they are in luck since this aint Hollywood.

One thing I'd like to make perfectly clear is that I am for evening things out. While we guys get to see women with their legs wide open or fingers being sniffed after they have been in the most secret of places, penises were on full display. You've got to thank Europe and how they aren't afraid to show real sex, not that shit we see here in the U.S. Nope, I like to sleep naked so I won't have my boxer/briefs just magically appear. Like these guys from Venice, I'll wake up with my swollen cock dying to be licked. Girls like to see as well.

If you are a guy reading this and your girlfriend bought special panties to wear for you, acknowledge this. This is her way of telling you that you are special to her. I've never had this happen and well, I was left speechless.

Editor: "Something that does not happen often, folks. A lot o' jibba jabba out o' this fucker."

I have had a past girlfriend buy Calvins for me for Valentine's Day. It's obvious that Kristan did this thanks to her obsession of unbuttoning the 2 buttons to have my penis fall out into her hands/mouth. What was funny was that my mom asked why Kristan did this for me but I'm sure she knew.

Panties. Gotta love 'em. Teeny tiny little pieces of fabric that conceal one of the greatest areas known in the creation of life, the vagina. I know people might yap on me for using this word so often but I love it. "V" words are some of my favorites, especially "vixen" and some others that I can't think of right now.

Oh, to tease a guy like me is not difficult with tiny panties. No thongs since I love to see/feel those "wet spots" and to force my fingers up around the waistband to pull 'em down. Should I go slow or fast? I'm a firm lover of kissing while fingering/rubbing. Sara will be so spoiled rotten.

It's funny how we guys don't necessarily have "special undies" to wear. I've always been a boxer/brief type since high school. Beth, my ex-girlfriend at the time, wanted me to wear Calvins instead of those pathetic tighty-whiteys even though we weren't having sex.

Editor: "You should be ashamed! The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell! You let those nuns get to you."

In my defense, I lost my virginity at 19 in such a great period of my life that I don't look back at things as missed opportunities. Kristan gave me a real gift in sexuality and a strong love of it.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07