Yeah, I'm having a whale of a time in figuring out my high definition TV. Bet I sound like a moron for saying "whale of a time" but I think we should let that slide. You see, my father, a man of many nerdy talents, has a screen saver of Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'm not dissing his taste because I, too, find her cute (annoying but still cute) and definitely desirable. I'm not sure why since I favor women with a bit more substance. King Arthur over Garfield? Yup, and I'd definitely rather be Keira Knightley's bicycle seat over Jennifer's.

FYI: It's not the boobs so don't go there.

It's funny if you think about it. My dad has pictures of small planes' engines and cockpits but up pops a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt, a girl known for amazing films like I Know What You Did Last Summer (complete with music video best played with sound off, "How Do I Deal").

Oh, yeah, we're talking about my high definition TV, right? I've still got some tweaking to do such as progressive scanning on my DVD player to make the picture abso-frickin'-gorgeous. Not that it isn't already but anything to improve greatness to uber-greatness is just nifty. I know. I suck at words today! Shut up. How uses "nifty," anyway? Just what movie should I pop my TV's little cherry with, anyway? Vote to tickle my mind.

So, I give you a bit of thought. According to Bush's inaugural address, he wants to police the whole fucking world. Oh, if there is a man with a major ego issue, it is him. I've never heard of someone wanting to conquer the world since I thought they only existed in comic books but look no further than an ex-drunk gone bible thumping.

Think about it. Bush gets up there to give his 21 minute speech on ridding the world of what he calls the bad stuff but why? Shouldn't countries police themselves since they sure as hell weren't stupid enough to vote him in. Don't get on my ass about that since there are people that would want McDonald's for schools' cafeteria food. Some people just don't know what is good for America since common sense is gone.

It's funny about how Bush talks all this talk when I'm sitting here wishing someone would liberate us, the Americans forced to live under his regime of bible thumping and forcing us to be with him or we aren't "True Americans." Doesn't it scare anyone that Republicans have control of both Congresses?

Let' forget all that sad shit since Bush just either gets me all sad n' stuff or angry with how little thought he puts into his actions. To bring in my own personal start to the new year, I also cleaned up a hell of a lot more than ever. Dust was flying. Hedgehoggy was sneezing. What the fuck was I doing with a Swiffer? Oh, I'm so glad someone invented these fuckers because they save a lot of time. My Darth Maul action figures really needed a good dust removal. The geek in me needs the maid in me. Weird. I know.

So, plans for Super Bowl Weekend? In my town, they have a major all male revue for the ladies. Girls get the chance to place dollars in the thongs of supposedly hung-like-donkey male strippers. C'mon, they do so stuff their banana hammocks.

I don't know why but I'm completely fine with girls oggling guys. So many guys I know think that women should stay home to take care of the kids, fix dinner, etc. but I have no problem with a girl that looks at Playgirl in bed, dances with male strippers, uses a vibrator, or watches a porn.

Apparently, not all guys enjoy women getting in touch with their sexuality. On a special episode of MTV's Room Raiders brought to you by my high definition TV set, a guy was not liking a vibrator he found along with a porn left in a DVD player. Geez, that kind of girl is a keeper! Sexuality is fun and should be explored. A special flute like music would be playing at that moment I find that the girl I am dating has a vibrator, lube, pornos, and fingers herself. Hell, I'd lick her fingers! Gimme! Gimme!

Life is so confusing when I see hypocrisy all around. The guy that didn't like the girls' sex interests was found to have a box full of hard-core porn mags. Wanna bet that he also had DVDs of an "adult nature?" So, is this guy saying that it's alright for guys to like sex but girls should not?

Jennifer Love Hewitt's screen saver: "I'm so confused. My tits say "yes" but my mind says "no.""

I don't know but I guess I just got lucky in that I lost my virginity to a woman that allowed me to enjoy sex and to respect women's rights to enjoy it as well. Nothing is gross or deemed unnatural. Clits need a lick and I'm a licker so it's a match made in Satan's playground. Sold my sould to rock n' roll!

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07