Fortune Favors the Bold! I bring great big balls of glory! The Captain's Log
Elaine: "You got a letter from headquarters this morning."

Ted: "What is it?"

Elaine: "It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important."

-Airplane

For all of you that set foot outside here in the midwest or even the northeast, you are brave, very brave. This is our first major snowfall for the winter that actually scared me. Just coming home was a moment thanks to so much snow drifting to the point that roads were no longer visible.

I just had a small personal errand to do and found myself driving home down one of the 3 main roads to take back home. All along snow was drifting to the point that I had to rely on my experience to keep on my side. Mind you, this was around 10am and the wind was really picking up.

Days like these remind you why home is a wonderful place. Why would I want to step outside, anyway? Got my own personal arcade to play video games on a giant screen, more movies than I can keep track of, and some of the most hilarious dogs to keep me busy. It's no wonder why people find my room one of the places where you don't ever want to leave.

Here in the midwest, we got up to 2 inches of snow. Not bad? Well, it was hell due to snowdrifts and soon to be icy conditions. There were a lot of crashes on the interstate, causing a 2 hour shutdown. Chicago got 11 inches so I have no clue as to whether my aunt and uncle will visit my cousin there. We couldn't even make it up to see them thanks to very little visibility.

Generally, I hate this time of year. I long to run around in shorts and a t-shirt with my dogs. Mind you, this event has me flinging poo into the neighbors' yard with a pooper scooper while singing an insane amount of musicals embedded in my head thanks to Catholic school. Oh, those days of uniforms are long gone but hey! I learned how to kiss a nun, a form of punishment for us in 3rd Grade believe it or not.

Mmmmm....definitely cold weather brings me to a high amount of sexual desires. I've found myself thinking of a certain someone making her visit here but I'd prefer her safe and sound over taking such a risk in this weather.

They say that most babies are conceived in the cold days thanks to sex keeping you warm. Or could it be desires heating up while you stare out the window into a white abyss? Either way, I just want to crawl in bed with You Know Who. No, I'm not talking about that baddie in the Harry Potter Series. Then again, he is called something else.

Editor: "Obviously, you cannot wait to read the new Harry Potter book. That book is the work of great evil! Look away! Look away!"

In some ways, it is nice. I love laying in bed watching Halloween: The Resurrection, a ridiculous movie but it had the woman that plays Typhoid Mary in Elektra. Oh, she is so gorgeous! I've had my eye on her for a while and love her interviews that include a pretty good dirty joke. Aren't girls so sexy when they surprise you with their wit?

I have yet to pop my TV's cherry with a full DVD flick due to my insane fear of it. I swear that it takes me time to get used to new technology. I'll just sit there in awe of how insane I was in purchasing such an instrument of evil thanks to how I will watch things I normally don't watch. It's just to play with my head in seeing so much of a court in a basketball game. My friends that own high definition TVs tell me that I MUST watch football. A boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do.

Like my avoidance with the TV thanks to the fear, I've stopped reading that Underworld Sequel book. Oh, how I hate it when my favorite characters suffer and this is a major issue. 2 lovers, one werewolf and the other vampire, are doomed thanks to their secret sexual sessions in an old abandoned church section. She is pregnant thanks to the lycanthorpe but it is forbidden. We've already been told of the outcome but it still stings. For those of us with great imaginations, it's a tough world to read.

Bald-O called and ordered me to see the boys on Super Bowl Weekend. It's kind of a tradition to sit in front of the tube with tiny little cheese squares. I know you're wondering why that type of food but you must know that a lady is present. Bald-O and I have a friend named Mark that will most likely be there as well. Their little 1 year old daughter means no cussing and lots of little finger foods such as cheese squares or little sausages. I am more for burgers and beer but the estrogen content has more say.

It feels as if I am living in complete routine so hence the desire to run around in cargo shorts and chase squirrels. My only sense of knowing Spring is on its way is thanks to the fact I wear little clothing in the gym while I work out just as those sorority girls do so as well. I get a lot of hugs and waves that end up with my shirt in sweat stains. Guys just shake hands or grunt.

It was nice to see Jenna Jameson's True Hollywood Story on E!. It's so nice to hear a sane account on the porn industry without a bunch of hoopla over the little things that are boring. Yeah, yeah, we know about the possibility of coke binges and crack addiction but Jenna had so much more to say as well with a humanizing voice. It's funny how the most religious of people continue to threaten her with death all over movies that she has sex in. Gee, I thought sex was a loving act to enjoy however you as a person see it.

What is strange to most people that I've told this to is that I'd love to meet Jenna but just to get her to autograph that book, "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star," and to chat a bit. I've hardly ever been attracted to her even though I do find her kind of pretty. My personal taste gets lowered when giant breasts are involved. Too big turns me off much of the time. I definitely admire Jenna, though.

Well, this is pretty long for a day in which I did nothing of importance all thanks to a desire to be elsewhere. My time is spent wishing to be in Sara's bed and drinking at Bald-O's all while enjoying some little teeny weeny cheese cubes while stopping the profanity. Goodnight.

0 Got Balls?

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