-Veronica Mars

Oh, what joy it is that 2 of my favorite actresses get Best Supporting nominations, Natalie Portman and Cate Blanchet. I'm an adorer of Natalie but surprised that her nomination was only for the movie, Closer. Yeah, it was a brave role to be a tough stripper and to have the world see you in a thong but I liked her more in Garden State. Not only was the movie itself sooooooooo good but Natalie really brought a special light to Sam, the epileptic girl that helps Andrew feel again.

"Wow! I can't believe you're not retarded!"

-Sam

Cate is Cate, a darling of an actress that always mesmerizes me with her face. I'm sure that there are guys screaming at me about this but I like the unique over a blonde big-boobied turd that picks money over substance any day.

I'm finding that more and more of the people I talk to in my gym are in high school. Why the fuck is this happening? It's always been my thing to avoid going back to a past I enjoyed but it is just that, a past. Apparently, the cute girls in my local high schools think I have this adorable personality and wave at me when they catch my eyes after a monster amount of weight has been lifted by I.

Yeah, I'm friends with Brianne, whom I am slowly not seeing around as much due to her now being employed. I'll admit that I am worried since she is losing time to work out and it's obvious that she has an eating disorder. Last month, I asked Brianne what she would do if she didn't have time to do her very difficult workout. The answer? To not eat.

This eating disorder for Brianne is a huge issue due to her working in a place that is known for burgers right off the grill. I sure as hell would go nuts and order double cheeseburgers thanks to my love of massive loads of protein on my fit frame. Brianne doesn't understand how the body works and continues to think she of herself as fat. Trust me. Brianne is not fat and has guys drooling over just the tiniest portion of her panties being revealed.

Editor: "Sometime, those spots on the floor aren't exactly drool if ya know what I mean."

Now, I have a friend in high school that I found myself talking about The OC with. See? I'm hip to what those kids are talking about these days! Not only do I sound girly for a guy that has a muscular frame from years in the gym and sports but I'm just so gosh darn lovable. Namely, this girl I talked to has a face that resembles Anna Kournikova. All males would be jealous. Me? I'm just the nice dude that is purely into Sara.

If you had asked me 5 years ago about the people I know in my gym, I would have told you very few are whom I speak with. Now, I just cannot shut the fuck up and find myself saying hi to too many and stopping to talk to the point that I spend more time than I need in my gym. Yes, I talk and cannot shut up. What the hell is going on here!?! A man can only talk about the Super Bowl, The OC, and the latest girl-destroys-ex-boyfriend's- apartment-stuff for so long.

Oh, that? Briann's friend's ex-girlfriend took a baseball bat and destroyed this guy's TV and the whole apartment after he decided to break up with her. Why did I laugh? Well, Brianne said this:

"But, she destroyed his Xbox, Mike!"

A video game machine is THE most important thing out of an ex-girlfriend's jealous rage, huh? Remind me to hide mine if I were to ever break up with someone. She can take a bat to my 46inch high definition TV but not to my beloved Xbox? I'll use my powers of assuasion by showing her my tiny cute little toned pooper to distract her in getting my hands on whatever weapon she is using to cause such destruction. Girls love male butts.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, I have no clue as to why I am hyped to watch it. Sure, it's gotta be the desire to get with the boys down south and eat little weiners on toothpicks (Uh, it's a very profanity-free environment since a lady will be present with a small child). Boys just need an excuse to sit there and do nothing, just like they do 300 other days of the year. Plus, the Atlanta Falcons lost! Arrrrgh! I wanted Atlanta more.

Sometimes, I wish I was a girl so that I could put up my own website and charge lonely men $30 a month to see pictures of me naked. Have you seen how many teen sites there are of naked or close to nude girls out there!?! When I saw my old college roommate's bookmark of such a thing I thought it was just a few but on a Net exploration of all that is weird, I find some really freaky shit out there.

Just how much do 18-20 year old girls make for showing themselves? Man, I don't know if anyone would pay even $5 a month to see my dick in various pictures. Look, here it is from the front! Look, now it's to the side! C'mon, ladies, faint at this picture of him holding it!

Well, I guess we now have a reason as to how all those young girls in college are affording Gucci without having to set foot dancing around a pole. Would you believe that a guidance counselor came to a high school recently and told the school's audience that girls there should look into lap dancing? It's true. Times sure have changed, huh?

Benjy: "Girls don't like boys. They like cars and money."

I'd like to clarify that I find weird websites by accident thanks to links that point out cool stuff. I've since found a really neat-o diary put up by a 23 year old New Yorker that is working on her parents' bathroom during her time of unemployment. If you must know, her sarcasm and pet stories are worth a good read. Did you know I like sarcasm?

Editor: "Oh, he likes pony-tails, scars, breaking out in song, eating omellets, chasing small dogs, doing cartwheels, and eating cheese."

I'm just fucking tired after that long shoulder workout that I'm putting myself through in the gym. Right before I leave, I just do side deltoid lifts til I can no longer even lift my shoulders so that would explain why I feel so tired right now. Well, besides playing on the floor with my little dog, Buffy, as the local college team destroyed Wisconsin's 38 game home winning streak. Dogs are far more important than sports but they will wear you out.

Oh, I will get into that kink that will hopefully help the lonely confused male population on the subject of girls' peeing. It's so funny how my diary is being Googled each day under such things but, hey, whatever floats your boat. I've never found it erotic to see women pee but I did notice a little weird habit. Just like some guys like to roll up their shorts' legs, girls pee funny, too.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07