-Napolean Dynamite

I've got to say that a movie with absolutely no plot and a majorly ugly lead character can actually work! Seriously. You throw in a very geeky guy, a Mexican, 2 brothers that have no clue as to how stupid they are, and a girl that makes her own clothes to pay for college and you have an unforgettable movie. Napolean Dynamite is just friggin' funny.

Editor: "Gosh!"

Well, I'm not entirely in the mood to do an entry but since I will not be able to do one as a result of leaving in the late morning, I'll just do a short one.

Many of you will be in situations you do not wish to be in thanks to it being Super Bowl Sunday. Don't worry too much about the possiblity of a breast flashing. Just take a deep breath and walk away from the TV screen slowly. Tit sighting is a totally new form of abuse found in wardrobe malfunctions but they happen.

Breasts do pop out but there is a cure. Just say WWHD (What Would Hedgehoggy Do?) because he is wise in dealing with things like this. First, giggle. It is the best way to hide your embarassment of seeing the female breast. However, it is also the best way to react when said breast is far too floppy for it's own good, like flapjacks. Don't look at anyone as you giggle because this may appear false in which you might make everyone else feel they have to giggle with you.

Second, cover your eyes. This is something men do when a breast comes out to feed a small child. Only the really freaky males will stare as the breast and nipple make an appearance but you must realize there is an option. Take the palms of both your hands and gently place them over your eyes just as you did when tried to avoid the sight of your naked body in the mirror (that is self-breast flashing and highly dangerous). Don't do this too fast or you might blind yourself longer than you wish to be by suddenly seeing stars.

For the handicapped individual, in order to cover you eyes when you only have one good one as a result of losing it in that no-good farming accident, take someone else's hand and use his/hers. That hook can poke your eye out just as little Ralphie almost shot his eye out with a b.b.gun This is not funny because the sight of a titty can sting thanks to the power it has.

Don't believe me in how powerful breasts are? Go to a strip joint. You will see grown men turn into children at a Playstation convention since they just cannot seem to stop looking at so many breasts. Like the fact that kids enjoy bigger screens for their games, men enjoy bigger breasts to rub their faces in.

The final option you have in dealing with a breast flashing is to just walk away. Show your disgust and turn off that TV so that you may sob away those tears. The sight of nipples aren't for everyone so enjoy that good long cry while perverts start to bring out their stinky penises and begin to stroke them on your fancy new duvet. You don't need to see how those "stains" were made since that breast flashing has you lost and worried how you are going to be able to go to work the next day. A missed paycheck is a whole new problem forced by breasts just like some males spend them in those seedy strip joints. That is just wrong.

Well, I hope that I have helped in everyone's worry about another wardrobe malfunction of some type. Paul McCartney just might forget to close the barn door as he plays so millions of people could possibly be exposed to a penis. Little girls confused about why boys act funny will suddenly understand and wonder if theirs broke off or something down the line.

Everyone have a great weekend and I will be back with most likely a drunken story or 2. A special kiss to Sara and her many, many ways to soothe this weird beast of a man. You already know how much I want you. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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