-Line from the Veronica Mars theme song

Ever examined yourself on how you really feel? I'm tired and just wanting to sleep all day it seems. Last week, this wasn't the case but now I sit here debating whether I need to make a change in my own life.

When I visit Bald-O, I end up drunk and making a fool of myself. Now, I have no problem making a fool of myself since we all need to dance like Napolean Dynamite or pee in the middle of a gravel road after too many beers but soon find that your best friend's sister has now seen your penis while peeing. It's just that I noticed how I didn't have that desire to get drunk like I used to when I knew I was about to visit the boys down south.

Yeah, I've since started recovering from this weekend even if we didn't do our usual go crazy weekend out in the middle of nowhere on 40 acres of vast land. It used to take me 2 to 3 days but just that one night of being drunk feels like it is taking too long. Did I tell you that I am tired?

What I also think is that I am worried about Bald-O. There isn't that power packed goofy doofus I usually see in him and he told me about some depressing moments. As much as it is funny that he sat there and threw back 18 beers on a Friday night all alone, I don't want this. It worries me that he drinks so much, chews, and smokes all while not having been in a relationship for so long that I know he needs a good woman.

There, I said it! Bald-O needs a girl that can help him clean himself up and see that there is more to a night spent downing beer after beer. Once in a while is okay but not every night, geez! I just hope he sees that the reason people don't drop by so much is that lives are changing. Best friends are now getting married or falling for someone rather than cans.

I may be depressed but not as much as before. Sara has got me jumpstarted in a whole new territory since I think about her a lot. That visit is less than 2 weeks away as I watch the snow fall on the ground tonight. Forget about those nights of drunken slurring and louder and louder conversations. I'm more into kissing and sex with an actual long conversation attended by someone that makes me think. Plus, you dear readers may get to see me in pictures but I'm only allowing those that have me on their list.

Editor: "Ya mean, there really are smart girls out there!?! No way, man!"

I'm laughing at this entry because I'm reminded by Jack Nicholson's scene in As Good As It Gets. His character couldn't figure out how to compliment Helen Hunt's character so he just ended up saying, "You make me want to be a better man." Isn't that what a part of relationships is about? I'm not for that crap said in Jerry Maguire in which he says, "You complete me."

Editor: "Uh, didn't you sorta cry during that Jerry Maguire flick? Hmmmm......very unmale-like for someone that looks like you."

Okay, I did shed a few tears during my first and only showing of Jerry Maguire but still.......I was a sap and a bit caught up in that little kid many wanted to adopt or some just wanted to throw out a moving car. The human head does not weigh 8 pounds since I swear that Dr. Phil's has to be around 20. Fat head and fat ass of a liar. I hate Dr. Phil.

So, I bid thee a good night on a night where I look at the darkness and am dying for sex. My drive is going all over the place! Should I discuss it or do girls not want to hear what a guy desires in such nights of major sexual needs? Apparently, some people that drop me keep coming back to read me. The good ol' B.C. wants me, huh? Apparently, my feelings don't count but my words must be amusing. I just might lock this thing since I grown annoyed with those that drop me but still read me. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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