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| "What do you call an Australian with an arm around a sheep and the other around a goat?" *Answer at bottom* So, I have a small dilemma that is going to sound super, super whiney. Due to the insanity within this town thanks to our local college team being the top ranked, I will be fighting for a copy of the newest Sports Illustrated. There is a 5 copy limit at EVERY bookstore or any place selling it. Hell, Barnes is getting 41 Sports Illustrateds and will be the first place selling them at 9:30am. Guess who is the gopher in this family? It's a huge fever that has overwhelmed this town! During a game like tonight's, all stores become empty and the main places are parts of a ghost town. Everyone, like me, is watching our local team kick some major ass. I never thought it would be this bad but, man, this team is da shit! Cincinnati? Defeated! Wisconsin? Ass was handed to them plus their home game winning streak was ended all while defeating them again here at home. Even I am wearing the team colors right now. I'm orangey and proud even if I have a secret love of the Michigan Wolverines. Sad but true. Don't tell anyone this but I do like Cincinnati as well. I'm sure people in this town will be at my door with torches and some Tickle Me Elmo dolls to watch me burn with that lovable Sesame Street character that mothers everywhere have grown tired of. Elmo: "Whoo! Fire tickles!" Frankenstein: "Fire also bad!" I'm also not surprised that the fact my local team played Sara's local team has me feeling bad. Don't worry for I will not wear our team's colors. Black and red will be my showing of my love of dark and spontaneousness with red. Not surprisingly, I'm a little worn out after playing with my dog, Buffy, on the floor during the game. I'm trying to get her in better shape due to her itty bitty weight gain in the belly. To do this, I'll get her to wrestle for a squeaky toy and give her the feeling that she is actually beating it up. Then, I'll toss it for her to run. After about 6 or 7 of these very special moments, both dog and owner are too pooped to party. I was thinking to myself about why I enjoy sex. It's not as simple as you may think since some people just do it to orgasm and all that. For me, it's an expression in how I feel about someone. The actual moment of cumming is just icing, baby. Who else gets off on seeing his/her partner in pleasure? I just cannot get enough and hardly ever wear down when it comes to body parts used. My fingers are in the best shape of life and I intend to keep them in pristine condition in pleasing. The fun thing about fingering is that it's so intimate. I've always seen an actual invitation into a woman's vagina as something of a rarity. I mean, think about it. It's one of the most secretive areas and shows trust in allowing you to touch her in such a way. Plus, you are actually INSIDE a female body and many men have not grasped this concept but stick things in wherever they can. I love fingering not only for what I just said but also to feel inside. It's so sticky, hot, wet, and soft here and there. I've never understood why guys don't go down on girls thanks to their petty excuses because I love it. Vagina: the breakfast of champions! From my experiences, girls have had too many hang-ups such as how many times sex can take place before she worries that I'll think she's a ho kind of thing. The worst are those that just do it to please me and then move on to life's questionable actions such as girl-talk on a cell phone or shoe shoppin'. I don't know about you but I like to fuck and I want it dirty, raunchy, and so out of the ordinary that I'm gonna feel like I need 2 showers after each session. For me, I expect swelling, cum flying, moans, "wet spots", toes curling, and loud sucking sounds. Editor: "Is that what Ross Perot was talking about in "giant sucking sounds?"" Sleep? Who the fuck sleeps with their sweetheart after not seeing each other for days? The body was designed for sex and should accept its mission with as much dignity as possible. So, should you be embarassed about an orgasm? Bush thinks so. He's endorsing all these abstinence programs in high schools but only if they are taught while ignoring actual sex discussion. What the fuck!?! I'll speak with honesty. I may not have had sex in high school (I probably wouldn't even know how at that time), but I damn well knew that other people needed to know what they were actually doing instead of preaching ignorance. Abstinence is fine but the bigger picture is ignored all because Bush feels you shouldn't know how to really get laid. My sex ed teacher was a chronic smoker that put up a slide that was supposed to look like a diagram of the vagina. What did I see? A piece of tomato and 2 things of lettuce for the area that eggs are stored. To a weird little 15 year old boy, this was as erotic as it gets and fast food was never looked the same way again. Editor: "I'm sure a "Baby, I am SO GONNA FUCK that head of lettuce!" came out at some time." Schools that preach abstinence will get funding but those that wish to stick with actual sex education will get nothing. Isn't that sad? Here is a guy that would get up there to tell America that he is for education but is really for pushing his beliefs on us, beliefs that he didn't follow during his years at that point. Does anyone really think Bush was as goody goody as he is now? Hell, he admitted to tokin' and laughed at how he dodged the question. FYI: I have- 1. Toked Life aint perfect but I sure as hell know how to enjoy it. It's kind of funny to me how the first time I ever got stoned was way up in a tree thanks to a hooka pipe that had 6 of us all huddled around while hanging onto a branch for dear life. The sight downward was quite a doozy when stoned but the must have 4 peanut butter sandwiches quenched those munchies. Back to the actual subject, I'm just trying to say that I'm more of a pleaser. My desires can be filled easily but most rely on her's. Believe it or not, we type of guys are out there but are hard to find due to human nature's strange tendency to become more selfish as status is more on what you have than what you use it for. Just because you have a giant dick doesn't mean you know what to do with it. Oh, and I am so getting better on that epicglider cardio machine. I'm just pleased as punch that this little white boy is gonna have the cutest little hairless ass. Not that I don't already but it's just that stay hungry attitude I adopt. 10 minutes and 30 seconds on that thing plus a 5 minute walk on the treadmill to cool down. Hmmmmmmm....it is tempting to flash everyone around me in my gym but only 1 girl gets to see the goodies. As you can see, I am in a pretty good mood. It could be my not seeing the news today thanks to every showing being about sadness to the point that it makes you feel horrible to be alive. Or the local college team's huge win tonight that has me in a bit of a frenzy thanks to my mission of getting a copy of Sports Illustrated. Could this be the year our team goes past The Final Four? Well, I could also say that I'm happy due to my drive to Indiana is coming up very close. A boy wants to see his girlfriend. Does it get any better than that? Goodnight and may your dreams have Dumbledore or Hagrid to watch over you.
Answer: Bisexual 0 Got Balls? |
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