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| "My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of malaise that only genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds-pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...........it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it." -Dr. Evil talking to a therapy group in Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery. In case you don't know what "buggery" is, it's British slang for anal sex. I'll say this after reading my sitemeter due to my definite worry of people I know finding me. There are some really die-hard devoted fans to my diary and I'm happy that you, dear reader, find something worthwhile in me. I'm as nice as they come with a sly wit but a shy honesty as to me. If you were to ever meet me in person, I'll surprise you in how animated but quiet I get here and there. I know it sounds funny but I do care about everyone that has heard from me. I've shared my ups and downs with a few secrets thrown in along with my obvious adoration for Sara. I'm behind you, Kristine, in your roommate issues since I had them but with 5 guys that are far worse than words can say. Of course, Sammy and I had this special bond til she found the destruction within thanks to work and school happening but I know she's out there. Dorian, always trying to get me to read more and more but introduced me to "Go Ask Alice," definitely a sad book. I know Alison is still reading me even if I haven't heard a peep from my fellow lover of sex and college-life. China has a great curly haired fellow animal lover named Veronica so trying to find her way that it's certainly amusing where Canada meets a place where people toss boogers without a care in the world. We can't forget that there is a frisky someone that has my kind of outlook on sex as well-abuse the furniture!. I just love receiving pictures from people or seeing your faces at the possible expense of being stalked. Don't worry for the theme song to Halloween will not play as I walk along the sidewalks. It's more likely to be the theme song to Duck Tales. Remember it? Have I forgotten you, dear reader? Nope. I'm just a goofy little 5"10" guy still figuring out his cell-phone's little doo-dads all while always thinking of his girlfriend, Sara, yet still open to knowing more people. That's what makes Diaryland fun, to let things out all while hearing other people's sides as well. Yeah, we all know of those that only want to be heard but as with the First Amendment, you take the good with the bad. 80's Girls: "Hey, that sounds like our show! Sing it! "You take the good, you take the bad, and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life!" Okay, I may have seen The Facts Of Life for a couple shows....okay, like the whole fucking season and still remember when Natalie lost her virginity to a guy named "Snake." It was a very special epidsode. Most guys liked Blaire but I had a crush on Jo, that motorcycle chick with an edge. It all goes back to me desiring women that can handle machinery or weapons. Could there be a play for me being tied up in bed? Oh, I give away too much! Editor: "No more sappiness. Hedgehoggy need to start talking out of his ass again."
-The new Harry Potter book on July 16th will find me all by my lonesome in bed reading and reading til I finally can wead no more. Sara, would you like me to join you on this one seeing how we both love this series? -The Underworld sequel of werewolves versus vampires will debut on December 9th. Once again, you will all have to listen to me be a proud testosterone filled male that dotes to seeing Kate Beckinsale in tight black rubber outfits all while knowing how to fire those big ass handguns. -The new Garbage CD comes out in April with a back to the basics rock. Seeing how the critics are treating the beauty of it, has me moving my hands with an enthusiastic Srooge McDuck greedlike quality. -Finding out that PJ will direct The Hobbit in 3 years feels so good to know since the beauty of all that is in his Lord Of the Rings Trilogy showed true love of a book that possibly brought geeks and jocks together, even if temporarily. -Having the feeling that Johnny Depp could get an Oscar for his portrayal of Willy Wonka in the remake might get me to watch a full showing of The Academy Awards for once. Just.....hard...to avoid...Joan Rivers......and Star Jones. Must reach........for.....barf...bag. All I am saying is that this year's time span could find me as happy as piglets in shit. There is light during our dictator's 4 year reign of terror since we can only be rescued in entertainment or the possiblity of religious nuts being seen for what they are. Other than all this, I'm curious about the new DVD I have, Stage Beauty. Claire Danes got her costar, Billy Crudup, to dump his pregnant girlfriend for her. Am I right that the scorned was pregnant? I've always had a weird crush on Claire Danes since her character of Angela Chase on one of the most beautiful high school shows made, My So Called Life, was pretty damn realistically portrayed. Then again, girls with red hair just make me swoon. Anyway, I'm off to read a bit of Dragon Lance, a book Sara wishes me to get started with. Thanks for reading me. I may adore Sara but I still hold a place for everyone out there. Goodnight. 0 Got Balls? |
- - 2009-07-07 Love Facebook - 2009-05-07 Retards Away! - 2009-02-16 Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28 My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07 |