There must be something wrong here. Okay, picture a white boy with a copy of Elle Magazine stuffed into his gym bag thanks to finding it in his local gym. All was cleverly hidden under an issue of ESPN Magazine as he walked by many, many sweaty boys. Is there something just slightly off center here?

That boy was me. Okay, I couldn't help it! Seriously, I had to have that Elle Magazine due to.........don't groan.......Keira Knightley being on the cover and with various pictures throughout. Once I caught sight of her lovely little mug as I snooped for something to read on the 5 minute cool-down on the treadmill, my heart was just ah pit patterin' away.

I know part of me is kind of girly due to my growing up around my mom more than my dad but I try to keep my testosterone flexed as much as possible by cussing and talking about sports with the guys in my gym. Yo, the Mission Impossible Theme played as I snuck Elle out the door.

Keira was mine!!! Mine! MINE! MINE!!!

And now for something completely different..........

Okay, something is wrong here. I was driving to my gym when I noticed a little old dude running on the sidewalk in the same direction. The hat, the run, the sweatpants, yes, it was Nick. Gawd, this little 61 year old man o' steel can get around and made me feel bad that I, a 20something year old, needed a car to get to the gym.

Nick is just something to watch and, girls, all of you here on Diaryland would have to be on the lookout because he is frisky. I asked Nick if he's still quite a chaser of women and easily got a smile quite large that suggested no Viagra is needed. Nick is no limp noodle.

I'm just fascinated with Nick and how he has made a healthy lifestyle for himself during his retirement. Of course, he cuts loose by getting a little drunk after mowing the lawn and gettin' some lovin' by his 45 year old girlfriend. Friskiness does not die on age but the mind needs to stay sharp in order to help.

I've got this horrible image of Nick taking Bea Arthur from behind. Oh, why did I have to catch a rerun of Golden Girls recently!?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's St. Patrick's so we should all be out drunk with green beer but I don't give a flying shit. The local college team is ranked number 1 so all our bars are packed to capacity with complete idiots dressed in orange and blue thanks to 40something inch TVs. I've got a 46inch high definition TV to watch and a little dog named Buffy that needs my attention.

I've grown up somewhere so the need to get all completely wasted with strangers or friends is long gone. Of course, a trip to Bald-O's means you have to drink and karaoke "Love Shack" til you get it right in order to get that trailer rockin'.

"I got me a car
it's as big as o' whale!
We're ready to set sail!"

Oh, let's not forget drunken white boy dancin' while at the point of no return. You end up holding on to parts of large trucks as you try to remember why it was easier in college at some point during a break. The one thing you need to remember is the lone dancer that breaks out his crazy moves so you form a circle til he just falls down. They are all male and many come from the north. Cornfields excite northerners and it's not pretty.

Want more of Nick? Well, once he got into the gym after that run (light jog), he proceeded to casually flirt with a sorority girl (Theta). No shittin'. Nick just smiled at me and told me how he shouldn't be talking to someone so much younger then him but it was sweetly harmless. He's just got this charm to him that you can't help but smile and Theta girls love to meet.

Again, the image of Nick taking Bea Arthur comes up. My mind is so on sex but not this kind of stuff.

Looks like I'm planning to take off for Indiana again, guys. I can't help it since I really miss Sara and need to curl up with her in that giant bed of hers. It's there that I actually sleep well after a major session of playfulness. How can anyone get bored with sex?

3 Things:

3 posters I own-

1. The Lost Boys movie theater poster (Keifer Sutherland as "David" was perfect and only he can do the spike haired mullet thing with elegance)
2. The Christina Aguilera picture from Rolling Stone where she is naked behind a guitar (Christina oozes sex and I just love her to death what with demanding women be vocal about sex, too)
3. Patrick Nagel artwork (Patrick died many years ago but his 80's simplicity in drawing women is forever. I first saw them in Playboy and never forgot so I had to have a few but I want more)

Most recent DVDs

1. Alfie (Jude Law is okay but I'm just curious about the flick itself and want to see what he sees in Serrena Miller, his fiancee)
2. Rendez-vous (old Juliet Binoche flick that was just released on DVD. Once again, just curious.)
3. Stage Beauty (Love Claire Danes so I just had to have it. Plus, I secretly like period pieces. Sammy, I loved Romeo And Juliet as well so don't hide your head in shame, home-girl.)

Well, I must be off to hit up Sara and lose myself in the joy of driving 2 hours to Indiana. It's great to feel alive and with someone that makes me do cartwheels again. Oh, in case I forget, Sara, we should see Mr. And Mrs. Smith since that might be OUR movie once it comes out. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07