You see, I have told my daring tale of rescuing a lost gigantic fat basset hound while in Indiana all while cargo pants were close to falling down. Whether the world needs to see this superhero's bulge in Calvins is not up to them since dogs are far more important than modesty. Carrying a 50something pound basset hound is quite a feat, folks.

Well, a new dilemma has arisen and it takes the form of seeing the possibility of the Easter Bunny making an earlier appearance than usual. We've got a fat black and white rabbit hopping around in my backyard but my parents will not allow me to catch it.

Editor: "We did find our hero in the backyard trying as hard as he could to catch the rabbit even after his parents' warnings. Fat rabbit is far too fast. Doesn't that sound like "Fat Bastard?""

I guess being an animal lover is hard when I see them dumped or hurt or possibly lost from home. This black and white fat rabbit is clearly a pet but our backyard has now become its home. I watched it hide out under a bush during the rain so there are some smarts for possible living on its own for now.

I'm guessing that my small bout of sadness has my dogs reaping the benefits. I've taken Buffy in my room to allow her the love of barking at anything that appears from the windows. Loud, obnoxious, and absolutely cute is what I describe that little dog. Hell, Buffy and I make out every now and then when the stars are just right. That's where I learned to kiss, Yorkies make the perfect start in all potential lovers' lives.

Editor: "Yuck!"

As bad as it sounds, the fact that I have to be on the road early tomorrow morning makes me kind of cranky. It's all about a visit to see my grandparents that cause a hell of a ruckus here with my mother, their daughter. My grandma has sided with my mom's cousins, even after they've stolen a lot in money and things from the house. Unfortunately, my grandparents do not see this much but allow things to continue, thereby causing my mother more frustration. I just don't know who to be mad at.

I know it sounds awful and all but relatives can be such shits. We've tried to get my grandparents to live here in my town so that we can see them each week rather than 1 time a month or even less. The 3.5 hours on the road is hell on us but my grandparents do not see this. Did they ever bother to visit here? Only once, in all my time at this house. Sad.

It's also obvious that my grandma's alzheimer's is hell. I'm not sure if she'll remember me since it's been some time due to my having to be here to take care of the dogs. Hell, I don't know how I'm going to react to seeing my grandma in an assisted living facility rather than her own kitchen we would play Rummy games on. I hate my cousins for selling the house to make it harder on us. Memories are gone.

Do I sound kind of sad? A bit but life rolls on when you're used to having a small family. Many of the ones we know are complete assholes that we have no intention of talking to again. You know the type. They'll appear on Springer in no time.

"Hey, that's Uncle Billy! Since when did her marry his daughter, Libby!?!"

If you know southerners like I do, Jerry Springer is a potential mediator for us northerners. I'm just lucky to not have experiences the loveliness of moonshine.

So, you'd probably like to know about Indiana, dear reader. How can I put into words what went on there when I am so tired? You see, I am in some major effects of sleeplessness due to staying up awfully late every night thanks to sex, movies, late late dinners, and various other night owl needs. Oh, I'm not the only one worn out but Sara is, too, as she told me.

Just how the hell do I do it? I woke up early, had fantastic sex, left Sara's apartment for a 2 hour drive home, and ended up in 2 meetings til close to 6pm. It was after all this that I crashed onto my bed for an hour and woken up for dinner. My body aint done yet thanks to the local college team's game being on and push-ups to soothe my inner beast. Somewhere after midnight, I slept like a log.

I just cannot sit there! Seriously. Today, I went on errands and then to the gym for a massive workout thanks to not being there for some days. Hell, I just did 100 push-ups and 250 sit-ups due to boredom. Just where do I get any energy since I seem to feel a major desire to sleep now. Should I just do what Garret said in Road House (A mighty fine flick that just so happens to have Patrick Swayze so all guys are too shy to tell you how much they love it).

"I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead."

So, to put it mildly, I am tired. Really, really tired but life moves on since I have to ride shotgun with my mother to see people I'm not 100% happy to be around. At least, my grandma's do, Buffy, will be going as well.

"Dog goes with boy and kisses boy. Footage at 11."

Well, I'll try to get back as soon as possible with actual energy to lay out an entry that includes Bridget Jones and biting ears. We really do not need to get into my pubes being shorn off thanks to my mini afro growing down there. When a girlfriend says it's gotta go, it's gotta go down the drain. Goodbye, pubes.

Pubes: "Goodnight, Hedgehoggy!"

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07