-The House Of Yes

Ah, yes, I am back in full riot gear after my trip to Indiana to visit my girlfriend, Sara. I'm sure many have been wondering why I show up on their sitemeters but I have yet to update. You see, I like to catch up on people's lives along with my feeling of a need to come down after a hyper active situation in which I find that there are far too many fucking trucks on the interstate than needs to be.

Don't you love slow drivers? Well, there was a line and I mean a LINE of 8 to 10 cars all in the left lane thanks to some asshole that decides to just cruise with the car next to him/her at the same rate of speed. This is one of those moments I wish I had an RPG or a suicidal raccoon to toss in the car's open window. The ol' interstate would get a lot more interesting.

I have a problem. To put it quite bluntly, I am depressed no matter how happy I am. Do you get it? I know it doesn't make sense but it's true. There were moments on my drive home that I was so fucking sad and in a wallowing of self hatred that I did have wishes to just take my car with over the bridge and find a nice fiery death.

No matter how happy you are, depression can hit. I mean, what do I have an excuse to be depressed about? I have great parents, a girlfriend that I adore, a best friend that continuously teaches me how to enjoy life more, and Diaryland to release my inner thoughts. Oh, did I tell you that Sara got some strawberry flavored lube and I must say that it is positively be-yotchin'!

For me, depression hits in the early Spring and late Winter (most often at this time, I have a cold but last year I got a bacterial infection) so it's like clock-work. My idea of a good time during all this is to turn out the lights and play the music video "Mad World" on the Donnie Darko soundtrack. Funny how I don't find the movie depressing because I get so absorbed into it.

Right now, I'm just that........tired and confused with myself. I want more from me in learning. I want to be a great guy to my girlfriend, Sara, and to say that I am content. I'm happy but I'm not so relaxed as I wish I was. It's like how I see life as wondering how anyone can actually be happy during these times of Bush being in the White House. That is a whole other entry.

I do recommend tasting the strawberry lube.

I'm happy that Schiavo is dead and possibly in a place that doesn't find her surrounded by constant arguing over whether to keep her alive. If you are a vegetable, what's so great about sitting there staring out the window? I'd wish for someone to blow my head off with a nice round from our friendly AK-47 followed by the lowest of kicks from a .22.

It's funny how I find myself asking why it's such a huge deal on Schiavo's death since isn't it the point that she will get to meet Jesus? Isn't that the ultimate thing in life, to see a guy that died over our selfish sins? Well, it may not be mine but I will say that if Jesus is friendly to those of ill refute (prostitutes, anyone?) then I'll give him a high-five. Nobody seems to stand up for the really hard workers in the world since we are clearly focused on Paris Hilton or the latest Backstreet Boy with a DWI. Nick, how could you?

I'll discuss Indiana later on but I've got to mention that I found a comic book from my past that has me in awe. You see, my favorite comic character is named "Storm Shadow" due to a silent but completely deadliness to him and I found the one I had as a kid. All the pages are intact as Storm Shadow looks up into the night's sky to see his prey escape him all thanks to that meddling of Snake-Eyes, another G.I.Joe character I liked. There is nothing quite like finding a part of your past that you've never let go of. Some people have Rainbow Brite, Smurfs, Barney, and The Wiggles. I've got a ninja dressed in white named Storm Shadow.

- - 2009-07-07

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