Hedgehoggy: 0

Yeah, laugh all you want but we are desperately trying to catch that black/white rabbit that keeps outsmarting the humane trap set out for it. Lettuce and various bits of other thingees found in the produce section of your local grocery store are eaten but trap does not have overweight black/white bunny.

In case you are new to my diary, a large (okay, it's a fatass) black and white bunny showed up in our backyard 2 days before Easter. Isn't that kind of cute to see at least one of those myths turn out to actually be true? I mean, if the Easter Bunny lives, then I'm sure as hell gonna make it my mission to get some major loot from Santa.

However, a new little kink took place today. The owners of the lardass of a bunny came into my backyard to try and catch it. I'm not sure how a very large white woman thinks she will do with an animal that can outrun her but I'm all ears to learn. What I do worry about is said woman is actually going to eat da big bunny. I'm guessing that after countless numbers of horror movies and a short viewing of Fatal Attraction tends to put such thoughts in my head.

Animals don't stop here, folks. I went in to apply for a job at the local exotic pet store and ended up in a major interview on the spot after a parrot decided to attempt to sit on my shoulder. Here I was filling out the damn application only to find a friend from the gym sitting down with his pet parrot (blue/yellow) right where I needed to sit.

I'm not sure why animals love me but they do. Besides this amazing auria of sexuality and love of learning, I guess I'm a bit different. The parrot seemed to think so as pen touched paper while it leaped to my left shoulder. No flinching from me even if I'm not familiar with holding birds since a friend of mine owned at least 15 exotic parrots. Beautiful birds, no?

Isn't that the shit, though? Think about how my entries would change if I got the job working at an exotic pet store? I'm thinking along these.........

"Today, I got attacked by a giant turantula!"

"While in the back of the store, I farted and a parrot said, "Bless you.""

"Day 5: the fish continue to mock me."

Don't get your hopes up. I'm sure as hell not going to since the collection of applications in the folder were quite large. Apparently, many want to work with the kind of animals only the daring are willing to own. Turantulas and geckos are kind of cute so I fit right into all this but I have never held a turantula. Anyone out there experienced this? I'm not scared but curious.

Okay, I kind of like job interviews. The girl doing this with me was my age and quite the spunky type and even wanted to talk a bit more since we both love animals. Of course, the pierced nose was pretty cool to me due to my love of 'em. Told you I am weird.

What I hate is the "Tell me about yourself" question that really means "What do you do that I can use?" I guess that since I am a weightlifter (friend's dad calls it "bodybuilder"), I can help with lifting fish tanks and detaching the latest animal gone amuck. When Mrs. Furoosha, the giant iguana, wants your Eggo, she really means it.

The one thing you can't help but notice when in an exotic pet store is that it is fucking hot, yo! This is amazon forest heat to the point that your undies stick and trust me when my balls had to be torn from my thighs kind of hot. Girls are so lucky to not have sweaty balls.

*Girls start laughing*

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the local college team lost to North Carolina but I'm not crying or setting fire to large pieces of wood. I love the NC and all thanks to the team's amazing dynasty and colors. Hell, I got some looks in the gym when I wore my North Carolina t-shirt with the sleeves cut out. Nobody fucked with me since no one is willing to fuck with a guy that has arms that look like they can punch through a pumpkin all while shouting things little Megan from The Exorcist said:

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"

Did I ever tell you that my roommates in college and I watched The Exorcist for the first time together? Wonderful experience in learning new sentences you can swear to or tell your mother-in-laws at the dinner table on a bad day.

So, I'd like to say hi to "Hissandtell" and for correcting me on Michael's last name. It's nice that others remember INXS's gorgeous video shot in Prague and how great o' time it was. MTV didn't suck back then, really. You'd find all types of art and feel inspired as Elton John, obviously on cocaine, would try to act like he was 20. Madonna didn't become some weird looking mom but talented in her own way as Hedgehoggy would dance around the room to "Into the Groove." Trust me. None of my friends know about that and it will stay that way.

Note to Sara: BloodRayne's next issue is this Wednesday!

Note to Alison: I'll hit you back soon.

Well, I'm outta here to await what all happened tonight on campus thanks to our boys losing. The flood of orange I've seen these past few weeks will taper off into the usual awful sense of style you normally see in this very conservative town. It's obvious that I am different and not just because of an 80's Madonna. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07