Ron: "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

-Anchorman

Ever had one of those days that you just question why the hell you even woke up in the first place? Let me get this straight. It's May 2nd and I'm laying in bed shivering. Now, part of it is my fault in that all I sleep under is a 2 throws that aren't exactly thick. Plus, I generally wear long athletic shorts and a t-shirt.

How many were betting I wear nothing or some cute little pink shorts that accentuate my adorable little ass? Please. The only time I sleep nude is with Sara but someone did make me laugh by suggesting I wear a little French maid outfit. Girls are so gosh darn crazy these days.

The point is that it was freezing when I woke up this morning and continued to be like that all day. Either Mother Nature has taken some time off or Bush has suddenly found a way to work the weather to force us to keep the heat on. I will not let the bastards grind me down.

Please, let it be warm.........just a wittle bit.

It's Monday and as usual that is a slow type o' day that has found me with a thick sweatshirt and cargo shorts as I head on out to find adventure. What I was hoping for was a dwarf, a kender, and possibly a sexy elf-maiden but those could only be found in my dreams.

Yeah, we all find those books we can't put down and mine was that damn Dragon Lance Part 3 that had me fused to it like a fat chick with ice cream on a Friday night. You know things are gonna get messy but you just cannot look away.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna get all geek-dom on y'all. The book is done so I'll move onto even dorkier things like that "Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. If you look at things more closely, this is THE month for geeks since the book is out in movie form, the Star Wars Saga will finish May 19th, and Star Trek Enterprise finishes May 13th. It's not that I am involved with all of these things but I'm a good observer. Soon, you will see a lot more pale people venture out of their parents' basements so be sure to shield your eyes and hope they don't try to dance. I'd just hope they break out their Napolean Dynamite dance moves, though.

Napolean: "GOSH!"

Cold weather brings 2 things within me: 1. The urge to pee more often and 2. Sleepiness. These things do not go together well but according to Mini-Me from The Surreal Life, you can pee on your side! The little dude fell over but continued to go. Wow! Not only does he drink til he ends up looking like a dead bug but is also able to keep the stream alive while falling over.

One thing you can tell in which I am feeling better is that my sex drive is going crazy, once again. It's all I've been thinking about to the point that I'm just mad and in dire need to poke or lick something.

Due to my stupidity in choosing channels, I accidently landed on MTV's TRL as I folded my socks, even the itty bitty blue ones I am shocked to own. Justin Timberlake is seen as getting married this weekend or very, very soon since there is a huge set-up already in place? So many girls are going to be falling on their backs or giving up the thoughts of him taking their pimply faced virginities instead of those Napolean Dynamite obsessed dorks still debating who caused the most flushes that day.

What was nice is hearing the comments on the pictures taken of Sara and I. It's not like I allow just anyone to see me but I felt fine in doing so only since it's time to put a face to these words. A certain group of people have welcomed me to see their lives so why not.

I'm supposed to develop my own pictures soon thanks to the disposable camera being done. My mom has 2 requests and those are to see Sara and that loveable basset hound I spent much of the time keeping safe until the animal control could rescue him. Yeah, that be the day that I was carrying all 50 pounds of that dude as my pants slowly kept falling down in the downtown area. People would just not be able to control themselves as white-boy-butt makes its appearance.

What I'm dying to see is that little red dress Sara wore to La Scalla. That was a moment (and there are many more besides this) that I've yet to be able to describe in how I felt even if a certain someone had trouble with his right contact and ended up running through the downtown area to get his glasses. We'll just try to forget about my little mishap and focus on how lovely my date looked.

Is it corny to read how I feel? I'm curious if people start putting their fingers in their mouths since I talk about Sara so much. I know a lot of people hate reading how happy other people are while they, themselves, are going through rough times. I'm just enjoying the waves and taking the time to show what I see on the trip.

I also know that people would expect me to just go all horn-dog and talk about sex, sex, sex, and more sex all the time just because I'm a male. As much as I do think about it 99.9% of the time, I'm still a sweetheart that just so happens to believe in that ol' swooshyness of feelings. I've seen some of the toughest males hide how they really feel but eventually it all comes out. Even my stripper-loving friend, Bald-O, has a romantic side to him. After 19 beers, he'll kiss anything.

So many people say that you should seperate sex and love. Not true. I've always found sex as a way to express feelings, especially with the type of intensity that I enjoy. Orgasms are just quick little jolts of pleasure but I prefer a long slow build up to a major point where both of us are breathing heavy and someone aint going to be able to walk right away. Plus, I'm a loveable lug with bite marks and a red hand print on my bootie. Tenderness is the night but not with me.

It just so happens the most sexual woman on the planet, Angelina Jolie, will be in the newest issue of Vanity Fair. Hooray for the queen of sexuality and how I may honor her court! I'm not one to think so highly of a huge assortment of celebrities but Angelina is mine. I'm sure Sara has plenty to say as well since we both view her so highly.

So, I bid y'all a good night as I may attempt my reading of Douglas Adams's book, "Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy." I'll need something saucy after this so I'm hoping to find a good sex' up one. Any recommendations? Goodnight and may you have many wet dreams. Yes, girls get them, too.

- - 2009-07-07

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