-License To Drive

This is a day I feel as if has been a continuous dreamlike state, all with me walking around with no energy. None. I've had to force myself to do anything and somehow I stayed awake just laying there in the bathtub. It was that bad.

Now, somehow in all my sleep-like manner, I finally got to watch a movie, one that had me constantly asking myself what happens after we die. It's a rare Japanese flick called Skyhigh that found me staring at the cover for a start. I'm not sure how movies get to me, I mean, I do love a good tits and ass fest but I expect something that cooks my mind a nice broiled filet o' mignon.

So, without further ado, I give you the thought from Skyhigh that people whom have been murdered reach the Gate Of Rage. It is here they meet the Guardian, namely a woman with a long blade. You, the murdered individual, are given 3 choices:

1). Accept your death and enter heaven, a place of complete happiness until you are called up to be reborn.

2). Haunt the world you once lived in as a ghost.

3). Seek revenge on your killer but you will be placed in hell as a result.

Yeah, I know this is kind of a weird thing to think about on Mother's Day but I'm no ordinary goofball full o' love.

Editor: "Psst! Actually, Hedgehoggy is a superhuman hiding away here on Earth all because he loves cheeseburgers and kissing the most wonderful girl. Such a strange boy he is."

So, what would you do? Well, this question is posed to a woman that has just been murdered by having her heart ripped out thanks to a guy needing 6 hearts to complete the hexagon in order to contact Lucifer. Ya know? The big demon himself? Okay, we all know that the name everyone uses is "Satan."

We all know that I like to see little flicks that aren't up to Hollywood's norm so Skyhigh, with a few faults, was kind of nice. Yeah, we get martial arts with a nice hint of sword fighting but damn! That female killer in black leather was so incredibly hot! Needless to say, she also had her hair in a ponytail.

Editor: "Hedgie is SO a sucker for girls in ponytails that it isn't even funny."

So, what would I do? I'd have a hard time choosing between numbers 1 and 3 because it would all come down to what happened at my death. I would accept it if I was a complete dolt in doing something wrong in the world. There is also the added factor of who did it and if someone I know is in trouble as well. Yes, I would sacrifice myself.

Don't you love imagery and cinematography cook'd up by the director? The whole Gate Of Rage was kind of cool to see, what with the smoke and darkness surrounding the person as he/she walks forward. No ferryman to carry you across the river for there is none but the woman with the sword will grant you 12 days to decide how you want to proceed. I'm definitely leaving this world by achieving a massive orgasm followed by a feeling of content.

Just wish I wasn't feeling like I'm dragging ass all day. Getting out of bed was not an issue when allergies call you to release that weird whistling sound going on in da nose. It's then that you follow your morning wood down the hall while humming the Smurf's Theme, typical morning but my kind.

News? Fiona Apple's new album is finally available. The poor girl has been subjected to idiots that make me wince to hear they are in power. No one should have allowed Ashlee Simpson to even step near a microphone but they did. Even Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue talked about how stupid she is in an interview.

Seen the pictures from the new Vanity Fair with Angelina Jolie? I'm not into kids but I think she has a certain knack with them when it comes to her son, Maddux. The picture of the 2 of them laying on the bed in similar poses was good but I still wanna see Angelina in a black tan-top sporting a MR-44 while the shells file out.

Do you really believe all the hoopla over Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? What I do think on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes thing is that he is on PR duty, majorly. They both have big movies coming out. For Katie, it's Batman Begins (June 11th!!!!) and War Of the Worlds for Tom. Eerie but I so love the picture of Katie Holmes with a major sore on her lip. Who knew Tom Cruise may or may not have herpes?

As for my life, not including how sleepy I've been feeling? Well, somehow I got my ass to the gym and then outside to wash my dad's truck. Not sure how this fits into my amazing schedule of being interupted in trying to finish a really lame book, The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy" but it did. I am so glad that book is done so now I can get into the kinky mind of Catherine M.

I'm guessing that it's the pleasant weather in how I'm suddenly thinking of sex all day..........again and again. What is it about the art of licking and pleasing another person's body that just makes you lose all hope in concentrating on more important things? Of course, I am dying to bed my girlfriend but also to see her lose herself to orgasming over and over. 3 is just a start because if I have a complete take of energy, we are going into double digits!

The hot days ahead mean sticky bodies so many, many showers are necessary. Hooray for an extra pair of hands! Either that or a hot bath that just so happens to find coronas in my hands. There is nothing sexier than a woman wearing a tank-top with a MR-44 slung over her shoulder and carrying 2 bottles o' corona in her hands as a sly smile makes its way. Am I the only one with weird fantasies that should be kept to himself?

Yes, I did the unthinkable of locking my keys in my gym's locker. It was my first time using a pair of lock cutters as I lug that giant wrench looking thing into the locker room. I'm going to miss that lock, one that's gotten me through many years of service but, hey, it was so cool to break the lock! My first time, too! If I didn't, I'd have to walk a few miles in my sweaty gym clothes and hope nobody thought I was a blood thanks to the red bandana. I'm behind in gang colors, these days.

So, I am outta here and hope you have thought about what you would do if faced with the Guardian at the Gate Of Rage. I'd have a wicked smile on my face if I saw a mass of Republicans where I was going because I just enjoy starting shit with ignorant morons. All I'd need is some rope, a fork, an axe, and possibly duct tape, lots of duct tape. It's not easy dealing with Republicans since they're as bad as cockroaches but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07