-Bald-O (This is to correct me in which I made the comment on the fact that Bald-O mentioned being hung like a mosquito during the college years and beyond. Looks like someone got some size this year!)

If you are a lady reading this diary, you are so missing out on life's greatest mystery as to why guys need to comment on how well hung they are. Seriously! I'm not sure why my boys do it so much but booze cruises bring out some of the weirdest conversations in those that are not the sharpest crayons in the box.

To answer your question, no, we did not all line up against the truck out in the woods to compare cocks' sizes. The only time you could say we came close is on those many piss breaks where traveling down a backroad you could have come across us guys all lined up washing the truck our way.

Yes, it is scary as to how low my I.Q. can go when I head on south to see my college friends.

However, I am not quite happy and had to bite my tongue often. I'm a guy that hates littering and various things that help destroy our Earth. Bald-O and just about everyone of these fuckers I've met throw their trash out the window, especially the beer cans (Natty Light, our favorite) and cigarette butts with the occasional chewed up tobacco. I just fucking hate it when people talk all this stuff about how I, Hedgehoggy, don't contribute to society while tossing out garbage.

I did none of the littering of various things flying out of the car while Rob (Bald-O's older brother) drove the big ass truck (is there any other kind in the south?) in circles while many, many beers were opened. To give you an idea as to how bored I was, I pretended to drink several beers while reading Jose Canseco's book, "Juiced." 2/3 of that book was finished by the time the booze cruise was over.

Is it the fact that I've grown up so much that it has come to this? Bald-O's a great guy and all but his ignorance and stupid antics are weighing on me. I cannot stand it when people litter or waste fuel but also talk shit about people that don't practice heterosexuality.

While the Survivor Finale played, Bald-O told me that he didn't like the male hairdresser that played all because he was gay. Geez, I am just getting annoyed with his antics of complete ignorance that I have fired back a few times on his stupid actions. I got this:

"At least I can spell."

I'm not joking that Bald-O blurted this out when I confronted him on his ignorance while in college. He just suddenly had us in a spelling competition that I only did half-heartedly because there was no point. In case you want to know, Bald-O was a spelling champion in school at some point.

Do I sound mad? Maybe a little. I'm just so sick of people that flaunt their ignorance like it's no big deal and proceed to tell me my problems. Look, I don't know where I was at a point that I ignored all this in college but it's most likely because we as roommates went through some major good times and bad times to the point that they united us. I'll never forget the many, many things Bald-O did for me so I continue to hope that he will stop his majorly excessive drinking, smoking, and chewing along with the ignorance. Let's face it. I wanted to go home after a little over 24 hours since the Jim Carrey movie, Lemony Snicket, put me in a good mood.

So, I go away for a little while only to find the religious fucks are continuing their dominance. Newsweek wrote an article on soldiers disrespecting suspected terrorists' Korans only to have a bunch of Muslims freak out and start killing people. I'm sorry if you are one of them or a religious fuck but y'all are just plain in need of reality. The government forced Newsweek to say that the article was possibly untrue all thanks to some bearded freaks.

Okay, I am so FUCKING SICK OF RELIGIOUS FREAKS THAT THINK THEIR VIEWS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOSE WITH ACTUAL THINKING ABILITY. JESUS DID NOT HELP YOU HIT THAT HOMERUN OR HELP YOU WRITE THAT FUCKING SONG THAT IS IN MY HEAD ALL THE TIME. YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT I SHOULD NOT WALK INTO A CONVENIENCE CENTER AND PICK UP HUSTLER AND A CLUB INTERNATIONAL ALL BECAUSE IT IS DISGUSTING TO HAVE A WOMAN OPEN HER LEGS. MARRIAGE WAS NOT STARTED IN THE BIBLE (A BULLSHIT BOOK). YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CENSOR OUT SCENES IN MOVIES JUST BECAUSE LITTLE BILLY SHOULD NOT SEE SOME TITS. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO KICK OUT CHURCH GOERS JUST BECAUSE THEY VOTED DEMOCRAT. MARILYN MANSON IS A HELL OF A LOT SMARTER AND HAS EVERY RIGHT TO WIPE HIS ASS WITH THE BIBLE. SCHOOL SHOULD NOT EVER HAVE SEXUAL ABSTINENCE BECAUSE IT DOES NOT WORK AND IS IMPOSSIBLE (HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WERE EVEN BORN AND DON'T TELL ME SHE WAS A VIRGIN). LET'S BE REAL. EVOLUTION IS REAL AND ADAM AND EVE ARE FIGMENTS OF SOME DIP'S IMAGINATION. THE BIBLE MAKES NO SENSE AND DOES NOT TALK ABOUT GAY SEX AS BEING WRONG.

This world just continues to get worse thanks to a president that was a drunk and talks of finding Jesus. Whatever. I've always found the most religious to be complete mindless slaves and it's never been proven wrong. Schools are being forced to disregard evolution in the classroom? I'm sure I loved being a monkey at one time so don't knock it.

The other thing that irritates me is Muslims. They talk all this shit about their kind being mistreated and all that but hardly a word comes out in their dissing terrorism. Am I wrong to wonder why they didn't go all out when those American soldiers were hung on the bridge by those Al Queda fucks but go nuts if an interrogator pretends to use menstrual blood in order to get a suspect to talk? I mean, the Muslim bullshit pretty much disses females on all levels so I tend to enjoy payback in this way.

Whatever you want to think of what I just said, just know that I am getting more and more tired of the overly religious fucks trying to take over this world. We've got to guard our porn, sexuality rights, and 1st Ammendment Rights with more vigor, folks!

Gawd, now I'm wondering why all this came out when I'm barely able to keep my eyes open after being subjected to guys walking around in a trailer with nothing but their undies. It's just not pretty since beer guts are not the sex machine tanks they talk of down south. Each visit there makes me happy to see my abs, even after 15 beers and a cookout.

So, I'm definitely gonna sleep without being disturbed by the toilet flushing thanks to Rob's need to poop at 4am and then proceed to play with himself out in the living room. You never know what you are going to come across when getting a drink of water at such an hour. Goodnight.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07